I don’t like talking about my work, they always ask and show off theirs though.
Like this guy I’ve been texting just told me he is the CEO and plans to sell his company once he reaches all his plans and retire early somewhere on an island.
I never asked. Why mention?
It's not "showing off" it's part of a mental process to impress the person they're talking to. It's because they can't all go do the spartan race with the girl watching them.
Intellectual guys will flash you their brain and organizational skills.
Rich guys will talk about their car or props or travel.
Sporty guys will talk about all their misadventures.
They're trying to "win the hand of the fair maiden" though this process.
For example, a friend tried to set me up with a guy once who was newly divorced but still hung up on his ex wife. (Red flag… nothing goes past that with me, however he was making an effort to tell me about his work and all this other stuff despite his sad puppydog eyes whenever the woman's name came up… since the ex wife is the way my friend knowsthis guy.) Long story short, I'm about to hop on the train home when he offers me a ride home with a big old smirk. My friend is still with is and raises her eyebrows. "Oh… you're going to LOVE this car… It's… amazing."
I have a sense of humor about this sort of thing, so I walked down the block to this bright gold mazerati (https://gtspirit.com/2013/07/31/gold-maserati-grancabrio-mc-by-velos-designwerks/). The guy leaned against the car like a peacock. My friend looked at me and her jaw dropped like *I* should be super impressed and I asked, "What?" My friend said, "Hello! It's a mazerati! And YOU get to sit in it."
Honestly, I tried not to laugh. It's just a car. I know, I know, a really expensive one and a sign that he has money to toss around. But if she was sweating the car so much why didn't she go home with the guy? I was happy taking the train home rather than to entertain the ridiculous. After some debate, I did get into the car and he told me "Buckle up… I drive… fast."
Again… I had to try not to laugh at him because he has no idea how I drive. (P. S.: Like a hellhound. I learned from an EMS.) So we pulled up to my place and he fully expected an actual date and my number and the whole deal… on account of the car. Of course I thanked him for the ride, complimented the car, blah blah, but told him we should keep in touch through our mutual friend. (Primarily because I don't do "rebound girl" very well and am not into the whole sports car persona thing.)
So… basically when a guy has the one thing that is REALLY REALLY going for him in his life… he wants to teall you all about it. He wants to blind you with the brilliance of that one thing so you don't see all the gaps in his armor and the chinks in his shield from dealing with all kinds of other stuff.
Women do this too, by the way. Just with shoes instead of cars, but definitely with the jobs when they can.
I hear ya gurl! 😊
They’re so rowdy and self absorbed about it.
Like how about a different topic guys, what’s else is neat about you?
But if I put myself in their shoes, I’d say I would be a proud man and simply want to share that about myself with someone I feel comfortable with.
Because that's what guys get judged on a lot. Everybody asks you what you're job is so they can decide what your status is. If they should look down on you or look up to you. So if a guy manages to get a good job he's gonna feel like it's a big deal.
Like for me I'm disabled and I often feel uncomfortable when people ask me what my job is because I already know they're not gonna like what I say. It's the biggest thing in my life that I haven't managed to do yet. In most other areas I'm doing well. I'm working on it but it will still take some time. Maybe this guy doesn't have that many other qualities so he's making sure to highlight his job because he know people will respond positively or maybe he's just really proud of his achievement I don't know.
u For most men, a large part of our ego depends on establishing our competence as people who know how to make things happen and exert control over our lives.
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We guys are proud of our accomplishments, and like talking about them... if someone is interested.
Your guy's talk about retiring to an island is bait to you. He's trying to impress you with his economic status. Did you take the bait?
It can be hard for men to accept our inherent value as people. Most of our lives we are told or treated like we're only as good as our level of competence. Ofc, not all but many.
This can sometimes become a bragging-point if we get pride for our accomplishments or worse; if we project our worth in words while in reality it hold little substance.
It's one of life's many pitfalls, pride.
But what they don't see is that it comes out as egocentric and shallow.
There's no point in talking about how good, rich or kind you are.. it's just a projection.
Lead with personality through action and honesty, not words and projections.
Because men do things FOR women. We rarely do things for ourselves. I mean hell most guys hate their jobs we do them for women. I was a biochemist/owner of a laboratory. I am now just the owner of 2 laboratories along with ensuring they have contracts. I leave the managing to someone else now. It was work I liked but it wasn't great. I did for my wife so we had money coming in. Thankfully some good choices made it so I could retire permanently and be perfectly fine
As men, our value has been traditionally judged by our professional achievements. Our sexual attractiveness is somewhat tied to our professional achievements. It's much more important in a man than in a woman. It doesn't even have to do with money. A competent man is attractive to women in his professional circle even if it is not so lucrative. We have no value otherwise, we are invisible to both men and women and we have a miserable life, even if we are average guys. However, the way in which he told you about this sounds a bit insecure.
Men in western societies are exclusively valued for our willingness and ability to produce and provide, mostly for women and children. I suppose we shouldn’t have any pride at all as far as you’re concerned, huh? Just sit down, shut up and do our part like good little cogs? Ell oh ell!
Because a lot of times men are told that our work is one of the things that makes us the most attractive in the dating atmosphere, regardless of if it's true or not, that's what we're told a lot. Not saying it's right, I'm just telling you that's how it is.
So he should only answer the things you ask about and mention nothing else? It’s likely something that he is proud of and trying to impress you with. Both men and women try to impress. Clearly you are impressed otherwise you wouldn’t have phrased the question as “showing off”.
It’s the equivalent of a woman showing off her looks. A lot of a man’s value and worth to the world is based on his success at whatever endeavors he undertakes.
So long as it doesn’t come off as arrogant I’d take it as a good sign. We don’t try to impress a woman if we don’t care about her opinion and/or see long term potential in her.
though not the only reason, one big reason is it shows his ability to get and keep resources amongst other things which in turn attracts women. same as why so many wonen keep a tidy home and show that off, because it shows she us a capable home maker and attracts men. both are ingrained biologically and learned from thousands of years and generations of humans.
Maybe to them it makes them seem more important.
I just let them know that I save lives and can legally make them naked.
I really never met anyone that got tired about talking about themselves.
So, on dates, especially 1st/2nd dates I got her to talk about herself, listened and asked questions.
That was way better than talking about me.
interesting theories from the others.
Me was never to brag it until i was asked. Besides i feel i got nothing of that sort to brag about anyway.
However i want to make sure, that the girl i'm dating makes her living not from OnlyFans or Fansly or as a pornstar.
What else are men good at to show off? The work is our thing.
His ego consciousness, ie self identity is based on his work.
To be fair, a man's innate value was always tied in his ability to provide and his socio-economic power.
Do you not like it?
Well , if correct , its a pretty good achievement that is obviously a big part of his life , he won't go to the Island though , well not for long he will get bored.
He is trying to tell you he is going to come into some big money and free time. All to fuck around with you, if you play your cards right.
You clearly are too simple though. It's why you're failing at relationships.
He just had to do his part to keep the conversation going while texting
Pretty sure he thought "I never asked" about something you said too
I also like to talk about my work... it's simply a joy in my life and I love what I do, so I like to share it
It's A MAN THING I HAVE DONE IT, I LIKE SHOWING FOR MYSELF I SHOW OFF MY WORK TO IMPRESS YOU WITH THE ANIMAL WILD SIDE AND I WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU WANT ME TO BE ABLE TO BE THERE FOR YOU AND YOUR FEELING THAT I AM THE ONE WHO IS ABLÈ TO KEEP YOU FROM HARM
Men may enjoy showing off about their work for several reasons, including seeking validation and recognition for their skills, enhancing social status, expressing passion and pride in their accomplishments, satisfying competitiveness, seizing networking opportunities, and conforming to cultural expectations of career success and providing for their families. However, it's important to recognize that not all men engage in this behavior, and individual motivations can vary widely.
I really hate it when someone asks me, "What do you do for a living?" That's none of their damn business! So rude.
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