No. If I already like her present personality and character, it wouldn't change my mind.
I had girlfriends from the time I was 16. None of them were virgins because they had been in previous relationships before we met. They had low body counts. They were all good people, had wonderful character, and were choosy about who they gave themselves to.
When I was 36, I met a 30 year old. She was the first woman I ever fell truly in love with. But she revealed that she had been sexually molested for years by her step father from a very young age until she reached puberty. As a result, she became an alcoholic, got married at 17, got divorced a couple years later and the father got custody. She moved away but she and he maintained a good relationship and she was close to her son. But she was messed up for years. She was hypersexual and, because of her alcoholism, I have no idea how many guys she fucked.
But by the time I met her, she had been in counseling for years, had kicked alcohol, had gained a career and was determined to put her past behind her and be a normal girl.
She was super smart, hard working, fun, tender, caring, honest, loyal, and monogamous. No one could ask for a more wonderful partner.
I was upset about the trauma she had endured, but couldn't have cared less about her "body count".
YES, I would. The science is clear that sleeping around increases the odds of cheating, divorce, and pair bonding as @KrakenAttackin and myself have tried to repeat often on this website - keep in mind that women INITIATE 70 - 75% of all breakups. My personal experiences have also noted this - women with high body counts tend to be unpredictable, mind games, attention whores, drama, etc. I don't stick around for long.
Now, there's going to be some dumb Feminist or modern day woman on here who's going to say, "oh what about man whores?" (ironically, original Feminists in the US were AGAINST sleeping around LOL), well, I can't speak directly about this as I don't date men, but there's an impact on men as well, but the impact is far higher on women as women are hardwired to be in relationships as @MikeTheBartender and I have discussed.
There will always be exceptions, but if you want to take a gamble and waste the one resource you can never get back, which is time, then go for it and I wish you well, but the odds ain't in your favor lady.
Depends. If they were honest with me about it, if they told me before we started dating and were ashamed about it and wanted to change, then no I would not break up with them.
If they didn't tell me, but explained that they were ashamed of it and were nervous to tell me, then I wouldn't leave but it would be a very long conversation.
If they didn't tell me and didn't plan on changing the way they view sex or were proud of it, then yes I would leave. If I'm in a relationship with you, it's to eventually marry you and start a family. I don't need you passing those views to my children.
I like men with self respect, morals, ethics and values.
You would up and leave someone who have been with for some time? Its probably good to rid themselves of you since you obviously don't have any love for them anyway.
I also have no tolerance for liars but no self respect. That's only your misguided opinion. I have respect for myself than I have for anyone. My sex life has nothing to do with self respect, unless I had s small penis and never got laid. Lol
A man that sleeps around has no respect for himself, he's letting everyone and anyone that bats their eyes at him have access to something intimate. A man that cares about penis size is insecure. Most girls don't care about that, in fact most girls don't like anything above 8 inches. Most are completely fine with 5 inches.
How could you possibly know the self respect others have for themselves? That's a ridiculous opinion! And your also wrong about penis size. Women who say that have never had a big penis. And since 9
Since over 95% of men have 5 to 5.5 inched, it not like every women will have one. Only 6 out of 1000 have 9 inches.
if it was my concern I would know it long before any talk about a relationship emerged... and then there wouldn't be any relationship in the first place...
I think it's quite natural that we gather the information that can decide about relationship before we enter it...
This concerns you so let's not pretend it's a hypothetical question. What is your body count and over what period of years did that number accumulate? What is your pattern recently?
It depends on what you're looking for. As an employer, I sometimes hire short term employees and I didn't care how many jobs they've held but if I'm looking for a long term employee, I'm looking for as few past jobs as possible. It would be the same for relationships. If you're looking for something short term than why care how many relationships they've had. But if you're looking long term then you shouldn't choose someone who doesn't have a history of short term relationship. It's an important question to ask because divorce is expensive and the past can predict the future
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Anonymous
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Well first of all we wouldn’t even be together so that wouldn’t be an issue. I’d make sure first before we even got serious. People say Jody count doesn’t matter, especially women, but it should. Most women would say that’s her past sexual history it shouldn’t matter. But if you asked most women would they date a man if they found out he used to sleep w men, they’d say no. Having a preference for little to no body count isn’t always because someone is insecure. Women have all these “ick” factors when it comes to men. Not wanting a high body count on a girl or a man is a preference, an ick factor for a lot of men.
The past is very important to me because it obviously affects the future. And I don't get how some people say "the past is the past, forget about it" especially when it comes to relationships. But no, I wouldn't break up with my partner over that unless they had a ridiculously high body count or lied about it.
I would assume this is a question one asks their potential partner before entering the relationship. If you didn't ask, and now realise it, what is more important to you? The love you have for the person, or the high body count they had in the past?
I couldn't care less if you were a Pornstar before. If you feel like sharing it during the dating scenario, fine. If not, I couldn't care less if you revealed your number later.
No. The number isn't a red flag, but how they talk about it could be. If their body count is 100 and they know that's a lot, I would be less worried than if they had a body count of only 2 but thought that 2 was a lot.
People talk about “honesty” but at the same time are unable to view the truth in impartial context.
A person could talk about having a dirty past but is completely ready to move on and improve with someone. However the other person hears that and gets distrustful and paranoid. That information can be unfairly used them later if they are having trouble with other things.
Some doors are best left shut in my opinion. What’s going on in the present is what matters most.
@GoodgirlNatalie I am not against being open. But it’s easy to trust someone with your past and dirty secrets when you are in their good graces. But down the road when there is trouble it can “help someone” make a decision to harm you.
Also why is important to talk about your past. Why can’t there be a fresh start?
@GoodgirlNatalie I actually am the opposite. I do have a past I’m not proud of but I’ve changed a lot in recent years. But yes I am paranoid about how I will be judged.
Women are very quick to judge men on these issues. Especially in the early stages of dating.
@GoodgirlNatalie what matters is the current moment. Giving someone a chance to build up trust over time.
But why is it just SO important to know about someone’s past? Unless there are STDs, kids or past criminal behavior involved then it should be a non-issue.
We are increasingly becoming a less forgiving society. I can understand why people want to be careful about who they get in a relationship with. But context and perspective matters. If you keep quickly judging people then it cause people to get jaded and fall back into old patterns because they are constantly being labeled.
It’s not like I don’t own up for my past mistakes. But it’s not going to me or anyone else any good to keep on feeling guilty about it.
@GoodgirlNatalie so you judging me about being “judgmental” about other things. See how that poisons the well?
The thing about judging a person who OWNS UP about being wrong in the past is there is nothing they can do about it. But I do judge people on behavior they are currently engaged in. That’s different
It depends on how high it is lol. I also make it VERY clear from the beginning that im not into casual sex, that if she was ever into it, its best we dont start a relationship. If i found out after the relationship started that she was into casual sex, and she lied to me about it, the relationship would end.
They used to be a point in which I cared immensely about body count. I honestly wouldn't care as much I think of it like I think of buying a used car or fridge. I don't care how many people say in the car or what kind of food has been in the fridge as long as it's clean I don't need to know. I'd ask out of curiosity since the past is what makes someone who they presently are. If you're really getting to know someone you'll want to learn their past
I don't know, is 3000, give or take a few, too much? Who cares what their body count is? If you can't handle it, don't ask! How can you judge people like that? aren't we all the same? Isn't that like discrimination? Are you prejudice?
I personally would prefer them to be a virgin, since I'm one. But if they lied to me and did have a body count, I probably wouldn't want to be with them.
Probably so. Because it's a MAJOR risk taking on someone with a high body count. I would have to really, and I mean REALLY love you in order to even consider letting it all override that past.
If I was getting involved with someone new at my age (52) I would consider 5 as the absolute highest number of former partners. Anything over that would be a red flag.
I asked my wife if she had been with anyone else during the first date. I wouldn't even end up with someone with a high body count. I am too blunt to not ask
