Would this be okay, thoughts?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriends kid is turning 11 soon and he wants to get him clothes and electronics. I asked him what kind of electronic he mentioned a tablet. I am thinking of telling him I’ll go half with him and that way it can be a gift from the both of us. Now I’m asking on here because would that be a good idea or should I just get him a gift that is just from me? I know I’m overthinking it but bare with me

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, I don't think getting the tablet together would be crossing any lines or anything weird. Here's some thoughts on it:

- Offering to go half shows you care about the kid and want to contribute to a nice gift for his birthday. That's a really sweet way to include yourself without overstepping.

- Doing it together with your boyfriend makes it a gift from the both of you as a united parental unit. Helps build you guys as a team in the son's eyes too.

- Of course also get a small separate gift just from you to open. But the big item being shared is a nice compromise I think.

- As long as your boyfriend is comfortable with it, I say go for the offer to split the cost. Shows you're willing to be financially supportive of your boyfriend's family too.

- Just be tactful about how you present it so the kid doesn't feel put on the spot or pressured into seeing you as a parental figure too fast.

Go with your instincts - sounds like you're coming from a caring place. I'm sure the kid will love anything you contribute. You got this, girl!

[Asker]

Yes, thank you so much! He was a bit thrown off by it, in a good way but so far I have been doing that for some time. Been doing things that he needs time to process because it's new to him so thank you for the feed back

[Oliverlogan263]

You're welcome! And yeah, I get why your boyfriend might have been a little thrown off at first. It's still new territory for all of you guys figuring things out.

The good thing is it really does sound like you're making a real effort to be there for his kid and include the kid in your relationship. That's awesome he's getting used to having another parental figure there to support him. Stuff like splitting gifts probably does take the dad a bit to adjust to - you're all learning as you go.

As long as you and your boyfriend communicate openly about things, I'm sure over time little gestures like that won't feel so new to him anymore. He'll get more comfortable with you playing such an active role. And the kid is super lucky to have someone caring about him as much as you do.

Just keep showing them both how much you want to be a team, and little by little it'll become the new normal. Seems like you're doing everything right - just give it time to sink in fully for everyone. You got this!

[Anonymous]

That’s an expensive gift to give a kid who isn’t even your stepchild. I’d offer to go half on the tablet, and then maybe buy a few accessories or a gift card that can be just from you.

[Asker]

Thank you that's what I thought to. Specially because we are just starting out. Thank you, I appreciate the feedback

[sheikalana]

Both options are actually a good idea. If you don't know what to get him go half half with your partner.

[Asker]

Awesome thank you, for your feedback

[laly520]

u could go half with him

[Twalli]

I don't see a pe with that.

[war_daddy]

yup sounds like a good idea.