Why don’t girls flirt with me in clubs?

Question

My friend gets shown interest every single time. It’s not fair. It’s all about looks. Last night he kissed 3 girls.

I never kissed a girl but at least I danced intimately with one but then she went to another guy 🫤

I don’t know how I’m going to find a girlfriend/wife.

ZackBan · Accepted Answer

This might sound like a simple question but really you're asking something a lot more existential and even controversial on the internet.

There are many things that determin your success in an environment like that.

Your looks. But more importantly your style hygiene and grooming.
Meaning you don't have to look like Rayan Gosling's long list twin. But you do need to he a little in shape. Wearing nice fitting clothes that look fashionable.
You need a shower, deodorant, perfume, breathmint etc...

And then you need "game".
That is how you carry yourself, how you speak, even how you think and react.
But also how well you can flirt a girl, tease her, build a fun vibe with her, but also add some intensity and a sexual undertone that makes her want to kiss you or more.
That stuff can be learned and mastered.

As far as girlfriend goes you really won't find a good one in a place like that.
In fact club girls can sense it if you're there looking for a girlfriend and they will stay away from you and the drama that goes with it

I recommend you take a multi-layered approach.
Meet girls and get good at flirting in clubs.
Get yourself a dating app and do the same thing (same rules apply having good photos)
And try to expand your social circle and maybe meet thr friends of your friends. That is a good source to meet a decent woman and with the skills you have she'll be easy to charm.

So yeah becoming a modern day Casanova or even a solid romantic option takes work and dedication. But it's worth it so much more than you think.

Don't compare yourself to your friends who got with their high-school sweethearts. Those guys truly missed out on a lot of life experiences that you now get to have

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

First thing , stop getting jealous over your friends , be happy for them , if girls’ want to kiss a guy that’s kissing other girls’ as well that’s her problem not
Yours, if you want to attract girls ‘ you have to focus on yourself and focus on being confident with yourself , Most girls’ are drawn to a confident guy that accepts himself for who he is , talk to her like you want her talking to you , don’t worry about what your friends are doing , if you like a girl , approach her and talk to her without coming on to her to strong , most girls ‘ are freaked out by a guy that comes off as a creep to her , just be yourself eventually you will meet a girl that likes you for you. Do not get jealous over your friends , girls ‘ can sense a jealous insecure guy and sadly that’s a turn off to most girls , next time you see your friend kissing a girl at a club , look if she has other good looking friends , walk up beside your friend and start flirting with her friends , I guarantee your friend will help you out and root you on , it’s called Bro Code , you have each others backs and girls love that shit lol

_Maya_ · Accepted Answer

That is life. You just figured it out. Some people get more attention than others. I guess why are you mad at your friend's success with the ladies? I would be happy for a friend instead of boo hooing about myself. You cannot control what other people do nor should you worry about it. He is lucky. You... not so much. What do you propose that you do about it is the question? Whine about it or accept the fact that he gets more attention from the girls? You aren't required to go out with him to clubs. Go with other friends or dare I say... on your own. Maybe you will have more confidence that way. What do you do during all this anyhow? Sulk in the corner with your vodka tonic? You need to pave your own path and not worry about what other people do. That isn't their fault they get attention.

Account · Accepted Answer

Why wouldn't it be about looks especially in a club environment? People usually don't go there with the thought of forming a relationship or getting to know each other at deep interpersonal level.
People go there to have fun with their friends or to flirt with people they deem attractive.
Would you hit on someone you do not consider attractive according to your standards?

... Yeah I didn't think so.

Avicenna · Answer

You don't find a girlfriend and definitely not a wife in clubs.

OddBeMe · Answer

Well…obvi I have no portal into your life. But basics: it’s all confidence and tone. How to get people’s attention is something it took me years to manage and I was married by then.

Being kind of an ass and not that interested are very attractive moods IF you get them right. I relate it to business since that’s all I have. Never push the client to sign the contract, make it seem like you’re doing them a favor.

I once walked out of a meeting and he came running after me and signed double.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

I always say if you want to look skinny hangout with fat people & if you want to look good hangout with ugly people. As for the club dress to impress it don’t over do it because you will be a gold diggers dream come true. Work the room brother & don’t wait for girls to flirt with you, you go flirt with them & don’t be a nice guy be a dick.

Shave, shower, nice clothes & a fresh haircut.

Rangers · Answer

That's like going hunting and asking why the deer aren't shooting themselves for you

You're a guy, you go up and talk to girls, not the other way around. So stand up straight and get the fuck over there right this second, and start talking to that girl you see

In_Trance · Answer

Nobody ever told you it was fair
It's definitely not all about looks
You need to figure out what to do differently next time you go. This is a you problem and if you want to change it you can't keep going there like a stump and doing the same thing week after week

zagor · Answer

Because if there are 100 guys in a club maybe a dozen will get the attention. I once went out to a Hooters restaurant (to use the second word loosely) to meet a VGL buddy and his brother. I got there before they did and could hardly get anyone to take my order. He showed up, and suddenly there were 5 waitresses vying to take our order.

noohair · Answer

Life is not fair? If your parents did not teach that to you, they failed you. So listen, life is not fair son. And I guess you did not learn the wingman thing between men. If he is your friend, he should be helping you with that. And if you are going around with the “life is not fair” attitude, you are projecting out very negative vibes

PeachyPie93 · Answer

If the hideous Mike AKA "The situation" can get girls than so can you LOL

DishLady · Answer

“Not fair?” Sounds like a childish competitive streak… Just note what your friend is doing and try it out yourself.

Gent207-2 · Answer

You need to work on becoming Mr. Right before you find Mrs. Right Develop yourself - self-confidence and assurance

handsomelad70 · Answer

Dang, dude!!! You're in your FREAKIN' TWENTIES !!! Even a semblance of a good personality, never mind looks, will land you a lady, in or out of a club.(Hopefully out of one, as you don't seem a clubber sort of lad.)

Jkgordon · Answer

You will the right one will come meanwhile make sure you are showering combing your hair brush your teeth wearing clean clothes

Truthatanycost · Answer

The only thing you will find in those clubs are STD's.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Lookism has existed forever. Get over it. Keep trying.

Unit1 · Answer

You aren't a top 10% man. That's why. Emphasis on  top 10%

captain_voidwalker · Answer

Well I'm guessing your the ugly freind they take along to look better by proxy.

Anonymous · Answer

Because the nature isn't fair in which men never have women coming after them or going after them

LiamJHayden · Answer

Become interesting.

Why don’t girls flirt with me in clubs?

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