People are so hard to read and harder to communicate with?

[Anonymous]

Former colleague became interested romantically but I wasn't looking for a relationship and we had a good friends with benefits setup for sometime. That ended due to raging possessiveness from his side end and then his behaviour. I had lost complete interest and was pursuing other areas of life. He is stubborn, but also very vulnerable sometimes and a very bad communicator.

Note: I have come to realise that I had more than just sexual intentions and had caught feelings pretty hard which I've let him know. I had to. So had he. My gut knew, his behaviour and possessiveness, obsession was clear rather shameless even the sex was different. We have had some ugly fights too but he never left, NEVER and has openly stated that he isn't going anytime soon he is consistent and apparently wants to be 'together'

Chad comes back now that I'm single and wants to date now, wants to go out like normal people, spend time outside of benefits.

This is very weird keeping in mind we started at work and we are very different people, different mindset, ethics but also the same level of stubborn.

[SueShe]

Well, you should have kept your relationship with the fornicating only and never involve emotional feelings since both of you are obviously not really good at communicating.

That is always a problem when the one wants more than the other but fails to make it clear by communicating verbally with the other.

People are not hard to read or communicate. It is a learning process but once you know how to read between the lines, people are usually like open books.

You let feelings interfere with your carnal requirement and that is never going to lead to a good outcome.

[Asker]

I am sorry I forgot to mention on the post - I told him that I caught feelings and to my surprise he was okay with it and wanted to be together.

[SueShe]

People seldom show their true face and even less their character and personality. You did take a risk, knowing that he had those temper issues and other issues would sooner or later interfere with that relationship. That kind of character is not conductive for a long term relationship because his possessiveness will strangle you in the long run.

It is much better to end the things before they damage you emotionally too much.

[Nikki1989]

Yeah, very rarely do I have that problem.

[molonski2]

Seriously , get rid of this utter fool , he is unable to cope with the entire mechanism of friends with benefits , and you know what? This is not uncommon. Cut clean the dead wood , you do not need this rubbish upsetting your life , he is a possessive fool , who can't handle the thought of you being with others , you dont want this drama.

ENOUGH , cut him clean , tell him thats it , no more.

[Asker]

I think I've tried like 50 times... no use. It's like Earth finding it's ways out of concrete!

[molonski2]

Okey , then you are clear , explain to him " thats it " , I'm taking out an intervention order

[Asker]

This is so helpful but I've explained so many times and tbh I've never come across someone like this... This stubborn! And honestly it's been on for 8 years mow

[molonski2]

Its just too long , I know you dont want to , but.. you just need to get super serious on your intentions with this idiot.

[Asker]

I have told the man to stay away, taken myself out ( in person, social media) some people are just built different... and that's not the worst- i remember one time long back he told me that I'll want him one day.. it scared me.

[Anonymous]

Yes they are be careful.

[Asker]

Could you explain?

[Opinion Owner]

I’ll message you later. Come off anonymous.

[Opinion Owner]

Tag me when done i’m having dinner

[In_Trance]

Sometimes