I’ve used dating apps for nearly 8 months now but I have 0 matches. What am I doing wrong?

[Anonymous]

So, like I said I’ve been in the dating app scene for a while now. I’ve never considered myself “attractive” or “good-looking” but I thought I was around average. However I’ve still never had a match and I’ve only had maybe 4 or 5 likes ever. This is over multiple apps. Do y’all think it’s a looks thing? Or something else?

Updates

+1 y

I forgot to add an image 😅 you can just look at my pfp though

[Anonymous]

Dating apps are a meat market. Most the women you'll find on dating apps are just wondow shopping with no I mention of ever buying. The rest are shut-ins with zero social skills. So odds are most will ignore you either way.

I did fair very well to begin with either. But I developed some online dating rules that have served me well over the years.

First off, your pics are CRITICAL to your success. Most women do not even read your profile. And they certainly won't read it if your pics do not hook them. You don't have to be really attractive, I'm not. But your pics do tell a story about you. And if you have all selfies the story it tells is nobody likes you, you got no friends, why would they want to know you. Post pics in casual attire, in dress attire, at parties, sporting events, outdoor activities. These will saymore about you than anything you write could.

Speaking of "anything you write". I recommend leaving your bio blank. The less you say the more she has to create about you. You might think this makes you look lazy, it doesn't! Most women are HIGHLY judgmental. When you write something you're only giving her reasons to judge you. Trust me man, most women arevery bad judges of character. Don't give her reason to dismiss your good character by writing something.

Finally, I recommend NOT messaging any woman on dating apps. Let them come to you. You have to understand on dating apps the rules are reversed. Women have to do the pursuing. I almost NEVER message first. You have to understand how many guys on dating apps are on there just to get laid. So by the time you've sent her a message she's already recieved a 100 others asking g her of she's DTF. So she's most likely lumping you in with them (did I mention that women are generally bad judges of character🤣). Trust me she's probably seen your profile. And if she's not clicking on it, she ain't interested. But if she is clicking on it, she is. How much? That depends on her. But it's up to her to earn you, not the other way around.

Don't get discouraged man. I started out the same as you. Over time as i started doing these things the matches I got increased tenfold. It will with you to. But don't equate your marketability to matches. Because as isaid online dating is a meat market. Most the women out there are not worth having.

[OlderAndWiser]

Online dating is NOT just like dating IRL, and what works talking to girls in person doesn't necessarily work online.

You mentioned having a few likes but no matches. Are you waiting for girls to ask you for a date? Here's what happened to the last guy that was waiting for that:

Women - even girls your age - are looking for a guy who appears to be mature, assertive, and takes charge of a situation. They expect you to approach them, to indicate your interest, and to ask them for a meeting.

Some guys don't like that because it exposes them to rejection. I understand that. When I was your age, I was afraid of rejection. But I got tired of not having any dates and I decided to just be brave, expose myself, and hope that if I asked enough times, someone would day "yes." And it worked. I also did not die or get swallowed up by the earth when I was rejected, and the experience taught me to be more confident.

Do you have an older sister, female cousin, or close female friend who you could ask to read your profile and give you some feedback. Sometimes, what guys "think" girls want to see in a profile is not what they really want to see. Maybe you are just fine and you are marketing yourself wrong. You need to get an honest female opinion from someone you trust.

[andreasderjuengere]

It says that you' re 19...
Dating apps are not for kids.
And that's how you are perceived there.

[Anonymous]

That's about average

I quit dating after an unsuccessful year on them and am happier without them

[Nikki1989]

You're using dating apps.

[Budheavy]

It's probably your profile

[Anonymous]

Try using them for 10 more years.