When dating a single parent who has children. Are you dating their kids also?

[Anonymous]

Obviously you want the children to like you. Or get along with you. But are you including them in plans when going out? Taking them along with you, paying for them to spend time with you? Buying them gifts also?

Yes

No

It's more complicated

[DishLady]

It’s complicated. You want to love the guy/gal fully but also want to make sure they have enough time with their kids. Giving them that time (rather than selfishly wanting to hog all their time and attention) is step 1.

Next, you’re not ever DATING the kids (eyw), but ultimately once you’re sure you two are sticking it out as a couple for the long haul you start mentioning the person to your kids… testing the waters to see how they’ll react (step 2).

Little by little introductions can be made (step 3). In my culture that person is ultimately referred to as “auntie”/“uncle” as a sign of respect for our elders (step 3.5).

The couple has to share enough about each others’ kids and manner of upbringing from the very start in order to agree on the involvement the new partner will have in the child’s life (if any) and when the kids are very young there are “blended family” situations to deal with (step 4, but technically step 1.5).

Ultimately there should be binding time between you and the kids and between your kids and your partners’ if you both have kids (step 5).

There’s more, but you get the idea. It’s important to be mindful of the other person’s time with their kids — that’s their time. Some people get crabby about even well-intentioned mention of your mindfulness about their parental status, so watch your step (s)!!!

[hahahmm]

If somebody said to you they wanted to sell you a car but the previous driver will keep a set of keys & knows where you live, would you buy it? Some guys go for that deal & now and then they find the car parked at the last driver's house. House might be 20 miles away. But the new driver is 100% responsible for all maintenance and fuel costs.

[Fireguy17]

No, but they are a big part of it.
They aren't stupid, they know you are doinking her/him.
Don't try to be a parent, they already have them, so it can be a bit awkward at first, you are all getting know each other, but when they see how happy their mom/dad are, that helps.

[Avicenna]

Even if you are spending time with that person's kid (s), you are not dating the kids, but all of you do need to get along.

[TommyMountainFigure]

If you undertake a relationship where there are kids involved, then yes it truly matters that they like you, OR (forgetting you and your girlfriend for a second) those kids are going to be extremely miserable, through no fault of their own!
I for one had a great life growing up, and it really would matter to me they do also!

[Drewtate]

The thing about dating a woman with kids is that if you ever get serious with her then you are likely going to end up being financially responsible for those kids.

[HighValue]

I wouldn't even consider dating a single parent. They made their choices, let them deal with it.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the parent. Some sinlge women are actually good moms. And a good mom that actually loves her kids does NOT subject her kids to a train of men.

[DarkLegacy]

Only simps date single mums, i know that i never will.

[KrakenAttackin]

A man who dates a single mother will get all he deserves.

[Apple1996]

Definitely not

[Anonymous]

Only if she is 18 or older.

[DrPepper12]

Obviously.