Why am I unable to get what I want from some men that are more interested in a short-term relationship, from online but while I met one guy in person?

[CaitlinSims25]

Online dating hasn't gotten what I want from interested in getting into a long term relationship. I only met some men that some men that I didn't meet since they were taken and were lying about being single. The other two guys one guy turned out to be a player and another guy just looking for both a sexual relationship and long term relationship. I wasn't sure about sexual relationships and one guy did send an ultimatum and did needed things. From 2023. I had 9 ex boyfriend. The last one ex boyfriend was turned out to be toxic and I was the one that ended things. From 2024 i been going out more places in real life but some social events i only see them as friends but when i go to adult gaming I did like one guy but i got turned off because of when he did huge one women and did see two guys that i could be liked and one guy without glasses bit taller than me and did say hi and said my name wasn't there last time one guy without glasses and taller. One guy with glasses and i'm not sure if he was looking at me when i did look back did look away quicky. When I was on a game called just dance. Why am I unable to get what I want from some men that are more interested in a short-term relationship, online but while I met one guy in person?

[Oliverlogan263]

I know this whole dating thing can be super frustrating, especially online! Here's my advice:

- Don't waste your time with guys who only want something casual if you want long term. Make your intentions clear up front.

- Meeting people organically is usually better than apps. Keep going out to social events, classes, hobbies etc. Those types of low-key interactions can help the right guys warm up to you.

- Reach out with a genuine compliment to the guy you liked from Just Dance. Mention something specific you thought he did well. Strike up conversation from there to see if he'd be open to meeting for coffee.

- Play it cool when taking to guys. Give them space too, don't come on too strong. If they're shy, they may need time to come out of their shell.

- Don't stress if it doesn't happen overnight, own who you are and stay confident! The right guy for you is out there, just takes time to find him sometimes.

Focus on having fun meeting people, not finding "the one." That kind of energy will attract good vibes which could lead somewhere special over time. You've got this!

[Realistic07]

Before I can answer your question or even express a real answer to your question, I first need to ask a few questions of my own.


What type of men are you most interested in? Why do you seek them? What position do you most take in your past relationships? Are you often one to follow or do you lead the relationship?


Answer those questions at my next response will be a true answer or at least closer to a true answer as we speak.

[CaitlinSims25]

I through is attraction is subjective to me and i'm not sure why i was atttacted to guys that did turn out be bad boys but guys that i seem to be more attracted are guys with rare hair colour that is red hair/ginger hair. you don't get chose who person you get attention to. i got annoying mother that put strict rules when dating only men with moderate learning disability and i hate sometimes about dating. yep my mum even comes with me social events and as well of coming with me when comes dates with men to. I get ignore most from my mum to.

[Realistic07]

Attraction may be subjective, however, understanding what your subjective nature is helps me understand your choices. Particularly as it relates to relationships and the development of them.

As far as online dating goes, it can be very tricky; because often people enjoy embellishing, lying, or they just simply don’t know who they themselves are or what they’re looking for.

You’ve come to those realizations the hard way through life experience as most of us do unfortunately. I want you to understand that the struggle you go through is shared by everyone men and women often go through many bad relationships or issues before they find the proverbial one. In addition, even finding the one doesn’t mean that the person found is going to be the only one unfortunately divorce is a reality that happens.
All we can do is live life and try to give each other an opportunity to know one another in one way or another. This can be as acquaintances, friends, lovers, or simply just passing strangers.

From what I understand there was an attempt at a relationship, with a guy where unfortunately things didn’t work; because of a disability.
I want you to understand that it happens in the world sometimes. We think we can be with certain people, and we realize that sometimes the demand is just too high. It’s OK to accept that realization, and It’s not your fault nor is it the other persons love is simply tricky in that way.

You made the choice that you felt was right for you. That’s all we can do as people make choices, try our best to live with them, and make changes if those choices turn out to be more than we can handle. Life is an ever changing thing in that way never remaining the same for too long. Know that ir does not mean that you will not find the correct person for your life it just takes a while.

In earnest, probably the oddest thing or the thing that is most different that you have mentioned is that your mother goes with you to certain social events as well as dates.

[Realistic07]

If you can explain that a little bit more because at 25 years old, it’s hard for me to believe that you are not able to go on these dates and or events on your own. Having your mother there is not only difficult for anyone put you in a very awkward position, I feel.

Do you not feel that her being there is possibly a bit of a hindrance on you being able to express who you are in the way that you choose to on a date? Moreover, how do you deal with the reality of having somebody basically hover over your shoulder the whole time?

If it were me, I’m going to be honest it would be quite odd to have my mother go on dates with me or even the comparative of a father any parent really.

That said, I would like to give some credit to the potential that maybe in your family that might be quite common or that you practice a certain religious view where that may be common as well.

All said is that the case or is this just a developed habit that’s occurred through the years by this, I mean your mother going on dates and events with you that are meant to be for dating or romance?

[CaitlinSims25]

is has nothing do with religious view and my mum doesn't like religious people. is about safe guarding for people or users that has learning disabilities. my mum always be like this with me when comes to only men. I'm not a normal women like some other women. i got stuck with learning disability. about being vulnerable and some bad men. yet i know i they can be bad men with some men with learning disabilities.

[Realistic07]

I understand now you have a learning disability as , and your mother simply helps you date. That makes sense now. Thank you very much for explaining that.

At the heart of your question, why you’re not able to get what you want I want you to understand it’s not just you. There are a lot of people out there that feel the exact same way as you when it comes to relationships.

Why can’t I get what I want, why can’t I find the right person, why do people act so crappy, why can’t I just find the right one for me? All of these questions are 150% normal and happened to each and every single one of us. Why does it happen; because being lonely sucks.

So what do we do about it as human beings? Well we try and do our best to meet people, go out, and have fun; because we know better than to just stay sad and alone.

Even if it’s not with like a romantic partner, a friend, an acquaintance, or family member could be available just simply to go out.

Now when we’re talking romance and finding a romantic partner, that’s a hard road kiddo. Sometimes it can be really lonely to the point where you just want to scream. That said it’s really important in those times to dive into hobbies, activities, and events.

Why is it really important because our minds hate us OK so not really, but in a way kind of. Without activity, we often secluded ourselves, and trap ourselves in this self diminishing bubble mentally. Best way to deal with loneliness is to not allow yourself to feel it by filling in your time with hobbies.

This is really important; because your hobbies might one day help you find the right person for you. It does show in a few ways. Firstly hobbies help you identify what you’re interest are, which helps when finding someone else because you want somebody with similar interest.
Secondly, hobbies are a great distraction from the difficulties of life, particularly in the romance of things.
Thirdly, having hobbies develops skills that a romantic partner would like to see.

[Realistic07]

Now besides hobbies, how do you actually approach dating? That’s a big question for a lot of people but for you here’s some.

know that online is never 100% for the things I covered in my first message. That said part of dating is an in person aspect and one of the things you can do is try different events that expose you to different people.

For example, you might go dancing one time, or you might do like a group hiking activity, or a Meetup group activity. Meetup being an app that people can get to join inactivities with random people.

You can go to a fair event, or a public event. The point is that you have to make yourself available in a physical way to talk and to get to know other people. By going to fairs or events or public venues you get to do that and by meeting more people there’s more of an opportunity to meet someone who you might want to date romantically.

Now the one boundary I say to give your mother is if you feel that she is hovering or that she’s a little too involved that she needs to find a way to take a step back and observe from a distance. By doing that she gives you your space that you can feel comfortable talking with people, and can still observe you without necessarily hovering over you. Who knows in the process she might find a group of friends that she can hang out with to.

The point is everything is a balance and if you feel the balances off well, it’s your life and you have the ability to change that balance. Let us face facts your mother’s there to help but sometimes too much can be overwhelming. In this middle can be created.

[TallBlondeJohn2]

I agree with online dating isn't what it use to be