Is it time for it to be over?

[Anonymous]

So, I need to know if it's truly time to give up on this guy. Last week, I was very upset about the Panthers loss and I sent him a long rant. I really really needed to rant, as I've definitely started to lose it lately (I'm in nursing school and very stressed). Well he opened my text, he just left me on open. I asked why there was no response. He said he had nothing to say to my message and to just go to sleep. Mind you he's a Bulls fan, I listen to this man rant so often. Anyway, I asked him if that's how he responds to someone he supposedly likes and he left me on open again.

Mind you, I've been talking to this guy for about a year and a half and have given him multiple chances. He asked me for another chance recently to show me "how much he likes me". I'm tired, really. We've gone on one date if you would even call it that (went to the movies with him because his roommate was out of time). He has never once complimented me. I just don't understand at this point. I know being left on open is not really that serious, but I definitely think I've hit my last straw and got the major ick.

Updates

1 y

Update 4 weeks later:
About 3 days after the 'failed rant", he texted me to tell me about finishing his first final and sent a few tiktoks to which i opened and ignored. Now 4 weeks later he's attempted to text me again:
"i saw princess Mononoke yesterday and saw ponyo is playing aug 4th thought i’d let you know also i got back to... the other day but are we done for the summer since i snapped on you during nhl final about hockey and my prior actions if so good luck with your nursing program"

Updates

1 y

I mean what am i supposed to say to this? He hasn't once attempted to apologize.

[Anonymous]

I know there is much more to this relationship, but if I’m solely basing my opinion on the context here then I think you are frustrated with him overall but used the wrong situation to express it. In all honesty, how was he supposed to respond to your rant about a game loss? I get it, you’re both hardcore basketball fans but all he could really say was sorry or something, and through text I think being left on read would be the equivalent of him sitting and listening quietly in this case. I don't know, like I get your frustration but you could’ve relayed it better.

[Asker]

He is supposed to be a human being and express empathy, that's what i do when he rants. Being left on open is not equivalent to sitting and listening. When you sit and listen, you show empathy by engaging in the conversation. Being left of open is not engaging in a conversation. Yea I'm frustrated, but i've expressed this over the course of our situation. This was simply my last straw.

[Opinion Owner]

You’re a woman, we are far more emotional and (to an extent) empathetic than men. I don’t feel like someone is lacking empathy for not engaging in a rant about sports, you just have a different expectation of him as your boyfriend. This may not have been as big of a deal to you as it is if you weren’t already feeling frustrated with the state of your relationship, and I think that’s where your focus should be. Not this situation, I actually think it’s a bit petty and I hope you don’t get defensive by me saying that.

[Asker]

The thing is it was not just an rant about sports. It was me being emotional and needed him to simply talk to me. I can't really explain the extent of the issue but I have been having a hard time for the past mouth. I'm in nursing school and very stressed. He knows that i just wanted someone to talk to me but he simply puts himself first every time. I try talking to him but he'll just talk over me the entire time to talk about himself. Yes, its petty but things have just been piling up over and over again and I don't know if i can keep trying with him.

[Opinion Owner]

You aren’t wrong for what you’re feeling, I’ve been in your shoes and your emotions are valid. I just think there has to come a point where you ask yourself what you need from a man and whether or not he’s capable of providing that.

As hurtful as it is, there’s no confusion about this — he doesn’t want to talk to you about your stress, and he doesn’t want to hear about it. His behavior proves as much. There are only so many times you can express your needs and not have that reciprocated before it’s like beating a dead horse.

The hard truth is that he just isn’t the man you need him to be, and that’s not me shitting on him or his character but addressing how compatible you two are at this juncture in your lives. I know all about not wanting to give up, and fighting for what you love, but everyone has limits and I believe you’ve reached yours.

[Asker]

Man, it sucks so bad to have to start over. The worst part is that we weren't even dating, this has been a year 1/2 situationship. Yea, its time. It just sucks.

[AviatorTom]

From your description, I'm not sure it ever started. It's your choice, but you might want to seriously think about moving on and finding someone who more compatible with you.

Might be difficult to find a Panthers fan though, 😎 he said jokingly.

[Danny_dan92]

Yes. It’s done

[In_Trance]

Yeah