Do people actually find relationships?

[killake-ko]

I am 19 and have never had a relationship, and haven’t fallen in love. Someday when I hear about the list of requirements people want in a man I get frustrated that I’m not enough to fit in or be attractive. I’m not confident enough, good looking or have enough money to make bezos look poor so what value do I have to provide for anyone but being a good person.

Being good doesn’t mean anything in this economy, when it comes to finding people or maybe I was never good now that I’m showing signs of entitlement.

I know I’m not entitled to good dates it’s just I feel embarrassed that I haven’t been kissed, am still a virgin, and haven’t even had a true and good relationship, while many other people experience this by my age.

Ultimately I feel defective like I missed out on important social milestones that I have to do a next to near impossible grind to be satisfied. I’m so sick of having to work for everything in my fucking life.

[LazerBean]

Everybody has to work for anything valuable in life. That's just how life works. And yeah most people are in, have been in, or will be in a relationship by their early 20s.

[killake-ko]

Yeah it is how life works, I guess. For some reason I hate that that frustrates me. Like I wanna be loved for who I am However I know that real life doesn’t work like that, and that only you can love yourself or whatever. I guess I’m just tired and lazy.

[LazerBean]

I mean, I get where you're coming from. But who we are can change. If who I was wasn't a decent person, I certainly wouldn't have landed my husband. Likewise, if I didn't think he was an amazing person, I wouldn't have chosen him. So the "be loved for who I am" is kind of a double edged sword

[killake-ko]

Thanks for the wisdom! This question I asked was a little side rant. So thank you for giving me the perspective of the double edged sword.

[LazerBean]

No problem, and good luck!

[IHateBeingaMan]

yup, men more than women do, women have always gotten handed relationships by doing nothing since they don't have to be the ones to pursue and do the chasing, hitting on

[LazerBean]

Women get handed relationships by who? Men. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[Nikki1989]

Relationships always find me. I would never go looking for anything like that.

[Iron_Man]

You’re young yeah you might go another seven years then when do you will find one

[In_Trance]

Your profile says you're 24...

[killake-ko]

I lied and now I don’t know how to change it

[jahaims]

Nope the whole planet is single