Do you think most people settle in relationships or actually find what they want?

Question

Everyone says they want true love. But in real life, things aren’t always that simple.
Do most people choose to stay with someone just because it's comfortable or safe even if it’s not what they really want?
Or do you think people still find real love if they’re patient enough?

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

In today’s society , people are better off not rushing into a relationship with anyone , unless they want to have their heart shit on eventually, Times are way different these days, compared to back then when we didn’t carry around cell phones with internet technology, I got to experience both and I’m sorry to say , technology has played a big part on ruining the foundations of relationships , and ruined peoples’ mindsets by making people become more selfish and picky about who they want to be in a relationship with , Sadly most people today claim they want a serious relationship but they also want their cake and to eat it to when they start getting bored or feel they are missing out on something, so all of a sudden their loving partner is now a POS , because they assume grass is greener on the other side. Back in the day , we weren’t glued to our phones , we actually valued each other more when we met someone attractive and had great chemistry and connection with each other , our brains weren’t bombarded by tons of variety at the pawn of our hands , I remember when I first tried Facebook and not even a day or 2 that I was on there , my inbox filled up with girls’ from my past that I thought I would never see or hear from again , that were excited to reach out to me and flirt with me , even though I was already in a relationship, Receiving that attention and hearing all those compliments was nice , not going to lie but my partner didn’t know all these girls’ were messaging me behind her back and I didn’t know all these guys’ were messaging her behind my back. So technology made it easier for shy people to say what they always wanted to say and why it’s harder for people today to resist temptations. Most guys’ and girls’ today do not want a serious relationship because of all the nonsense they hear and read about about being cheated on so most people set their preferences to a higher standard and only want things their way. Most girls’ I have met and hooked up with lied to me about already having a boyfriend or a husband , that got me in bed and kept me as a side piece for however long they could get away with it. I got so used to being a side piece that I just expect it these days why I no longer give my heart completely not a girl anymore until I see the big picture with her.

D_Bone_Steak · Accepted Answer

The people that hold out and are always waiting for that "something better," never invest in the relationship they have fully, so just like a workout program you don't invest into, it's going to be suboptimal due to your part and because it's two different people that other half might end up carrying more than their fair share of the load and also will start to see that relationship and not worth the investment. Now a relationship that could've been great has two people that hate the relationship their in and all because one of them is basically "just wasting each other's time" because they're busy waiting for that 100% perfect and most ideal person to take them away. With that much said...

What happens during that time wasting? Do they themselves become better for this ideal person to step into their life? I doubt it because life is going to happen. People age and pop out kids, develop substance abuse issues or just become so jaded about minor details that Mr. or Mrs. Perfect is not going to want anything to do with that asshole of a human being. Chances lean on maybe meeting that Mr. or Mrs. Perfect and then they cheat, and end up fucking that up and the relationship they never fully invested in at the same time.

The people that succeed at this relationship stuff, are happy enough. That's it. Something better isn't constantly on their mind, so then they invest. They grow and it forces their partner to grow with them. They grow together and become even more ideal for each other. They're happy enough to put in the work, and that work goes into their relationship and not just into attracting the other possibilities or constantly leaving the door open to other possibilities which isn't going to be all that fun for their partner getting dragged through that process. .

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

When you settle for someone you are settling for the best possible partner you can get. The idea of true love is wishy washy Hollywood rom com and fairytale nonsense. Especially for so many women who rather than settle for a good man that they have they spend their teens and 20s looking for "true love", this superman that is superior to themselves in all things. Then when they get into their 30s&40s and this superman still hasn't arrived or there were a few superman who saw them as nothing other than spermdumsters rather than marraige material and they think back to those good men they weren't willing to settle for but those guys have all been snapped up by some smart women more than willing to settle for a good man.

Ultimately there's a difference in settling for and settling with.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

People think they have an advantage if they are better looking or earn more money but good people are not influenced by shallow principles as much as bad people so a good looking person will attract more attention but they are also more likely to attract attention from bad people. If you are broke, you know for a fact your lover is not using you for money.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

I'm here to sprinkle some magic on relationship questions, mixing in both passion and practicality. 😏 You know, love is like a dance—some people twirl into the arms of true love, while others sway to the tune of comfort and safety. It happens! Some do settle, but patience, courage, and a dash of self-awareness often lead people to find real love eventually. It's about staying open and not ghosting your own heart’s desires, darling. 💃❤️

HawkPerception · Answer

The truth is most people definitely settle. That's also why divorce rates are so high nowadays. I wouldn't get into a relationship where I know there are red flags I can't overlook and/or I feel like I'm trapped and it's toxic in some form or way. Most people look passed those red flags because they don't want to be alone or they want to have a family. Sadly we don't have an eternity to choose a partner. We have one short life.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Most people settle, but it that’s because of the absurd idealized versions of their “perfect partner” in their minds. This is why the divorce rate is so high. It’s more prevalent in women than in men. Which is why women initiate divorce more than twice as often as men.

TrueConfection · Answer

They settle. Both partners settle and being able to compromise is essential to a relationship.

AviatorTom · Answer

There is always some level of settling in a relationship. One never finds their ideal perfect partner.

RavVid · Answer

Girls are notorious for 5 foolscap pages of closely written requirements a partner must have.

But the more requirements you have the fewer people there are that will meet them.

1/3 of guys might be above your minimum height. 1/3 might earn more than your minimum. Always nice if that guy is single - that is 1 in 3 too. Not a lot to ask for in the above list is it?

But that is 1 in 3*3*3 or i/27. Roughly 3 guys in 100 will be satisfactory.

Lets say you have another 3 qualities 1 in 3 men have. That is 1 in 3*3*3*3*3*3 or 729. Roughly 1 in a 1000 cause you can't have fractions of a guy.

It is very necessary to compromise or settle as you say..

I have mine down to slender & nice. Pretty sure I am going to be single forever.

serious · Answer

1. "Do most people choose to stay with someone just because it's comfortable or safe even if it’s not what they really want?"

Yes of course most people just compromise and settle even if that is not exactly what they wanted or they do it for all the wrong reasons like family pressure, peer pressure etc etc.

2. "Or do you think people still find real love if they’re patient enough?"

Well, it would really depend on the person's mental strength. There are no guarantees or assurance that if one is patient and keeps waiting they will find real love. It might never happen but yes if they remain determined, they don't compromise on their standards then there is at least a chance that they may get what they want.

However, such people also have to be ready to remain alone/single for life.

SotiCoto · Answer

We're living in an age where women believe they've got infinite men to choose from courtesy of the Internet and set their standards unfeasibly high... and where men are giving up entirely because even women that logically should even be below their standards are rejecting them until they've got knocked up by some arsehole and come crawling back as a single mother acting like they're doing the world a great favour by lowering their standards.
Honestly I'd be surprised if anyone was happy with their relationships any more.

Miristheiss · Answer

I think most get what they deserve.

"WANT" That is the flaw right there. A lot of people these days have a really inflated sense of self and what they deserve. There are a lot of 5's and 6s and many with questionable character and lifestyles that they "deserve" 9's and 10's.

Many peoples' "wants" are delusional.

DangerouslyCute · Answer

it depends on the person... some people know what they are looking for... some, especially with a complicated childhood, know what they don't want to have in their lives anymore... some simply repeat their earlier experiences...

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Everyone? True love eh? What is true love? I can say with certainly I have never breathed those words with regard to me. Heck the word “love” is ‘t even how I would describe the sort of woman who captures my attention. Speaking for myself, I don’t settle.

Anonymous · Answer

I know one woman with one of the greatest set of tits the world has ever seen they were really big and beautiful but she settled for some fat out of shape bald slob of a guy got knocked up by him then married him then had his kid she was miserable. They bought a multifamily house and she was still miserable. She thought she could delude herself into being happy but she's still miserable sad and depressed

Anonymous · Answer

there is no perfect person. what most people think is "settling" is actually just accepting that one person can never have EVERYTHING you want or look for. it's not realistic. you come to love that person just the way that they are.

avery58 · Answer

If someone making you feel the most comfortable and safe you ever felt isn't true love, then I don't know what true love is.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

I always found what I want. The trick is: to not want too much, or to want something that's out of reach.

exitseven · Answer

Some people do this. They get desperate and just settle for somebody who is not really their ideal mate.

Jersey2 · Answer

I found what I wanted but at a younger age, 20 years old. That may have made it easier as the pool gets smaller each year after that and the good ones go fast.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Its impossible to determine that because most people don't convey what they are looking for in a partner to anyone but their partner or prospective partners.

Nonamegiven · Answer

I think most definitely settle. In the beginning it might seem like everything they wanted but things change and so do people.

Fireguy17 · Answer

Im sure some just settle, but not the majority of people.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Not usually. Occasionally, your second choice is your only choice.

Dongie · Answer

I think most of them do. I'd say maybe 20-25% settle while the large majority find they are completely content with this person before them.

Anonymous · Answer

Depends what you mean by settle. I would say most people mature and realize what they thought they wanted really wouldn't have made a good partner.

RedInnocent69 · Answer

True love is a storybook, movie thing. Real love isn’t perfect and requires constant work at relationship building

Shy_Steve · Answer

Of course they settle. How many people do you know have everything they want.

Chocolatetwopointtwo · Answer

yeah, i would never. you’ll never be happy if u settle for next best🤷‍♀️

SamWinchester058 · Answer

I think when people have been together for years it can feel like settling.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

No most people definitely settle when it comes to relationships

LightingBugg · Answer

Just settle.

Do you think most people settle in relationships or actually find what they want?

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