During making out, my girlfriend asked me if I can be more manly and masculine, twice. Am I justified to be upset/offended?

Question

RavVid · Accepted Answer

Women tend to be more reactive in sex and to be excited by our excitement. You are possibly being too gentle and too much of a gentleman. That is the message we are given now so undoubtedly you have heard it. Slow gentle considerate and constantly checking if it is still consensual.

If you think about it why wouldn't a girl want her boyfriend to be so sexually excited over her that he gets all over her and does what he wants? Why wouldn't she want to feel passion from him?

She is telling you to make a pig of yourself and to take it. (Women have used those actual words to me) . She is actually giving you carte blanche so rather than be hurt take advantage of it and let your beast out.

An early girlfriend was quite good. During vanilla sex she would cry out rape and twist me out. She would let me re-enter but twist me out again. This would repeat until I got so frustrated I pinned her down and did my business. She never came from this but there was something deeply satisfying in it to her.

She is telling you to stop being such a nice and take what you want. Make her.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Sounds like she is checking out of the relationship and making excuses for her selfish behavior , when a girl starts pointing out little flaws on you for no reason whatsoever , it pretty
Much means she is looking for a reason to end things with you and she is probably interested in someone else , Best thing for you to do. Is to stop kissing her ass and start treating her with a litttle disrespect, make her chase you , most girls’ don’t really like nice guys’ she does , but she also needs a bad boy as well, don’t be rude to her but be dominate to her , make it seem like you are completely fine without her by your side , start treating her like a convenience and act like you no longer care about what she feels , if you don’t do this? She will cheat on you with another guy she feels is more masculine. Most females are wired thiis way , so it’s best to not always kiss her ass or she will be turned off

Tamera952 · Accepted Answer

And you didn’t say to her, “wait, what do you mean?” - I mean, did she provide you any guidance or examples, or context? — what a thing to say to someone! That would have fucked me up in the head too!

Changiis07 · Accepted Answer

You are but you can also try to understand where she is coming from too, the reason why she said it. Are you bringing out some feminine energy..

AviatorTom · Answer

She's telling you what she wants, nothing wrong with that. Treat her comment as a positive, not a negative. Looks like she wants you to take charge more, go ahead and do that. You'll both benefit... and enjoy it.

JonCobretti · Answer

No , don't be offended like a kid for god's sake

When your partner gives a suggestion, think about how to use it and improve yourself

She probably said this because she craves for a MAN who takes charge during sex and acts like a MAN

She might be more submissively inclined, like the vast majority of women... so she does crave to FEEL submissive , so what you got to do is act more dominant at least in bed

I really hope you are not one of those dildo guys who wants to lie back and have her do all the work

Dominant guys make women cum the hardest, remember that

ThaMaskedMarvel · Answer

Yeah, you should be offended. It's good that she is one of the few women that can say what she wants intimately, but dat timing tho. Tell her that next time she should say this stuff  before  or  after  making out, not during. Sheesh. Her timing & decorum sucks. If she's gonna tell you that, it's only right you tell her there's a time & place for that & to conduct herself with mote class. & how would she feel if you asked her twice to be more feminine during a make out session. I mean... dang... Maybe you could forget the rest of my advice above & just tell her to be more feminine twice/during & see how she likes it.

Anonymous · Answer

I mean yes. I would understand why you’d be upset and offended, but also she’s trying to communicate something. It’s better to just listen and try to understand your partners point rather than be offended. She clearly thinks this is an issue and she’s trying to tell you what her needs are. With that said I don’t think she’s making herself clear, like what does she mean exactly? Are you passive? Feminine? Not dominate enough for her taste?

Anonymous · Answer

"Good for the Goose, Good for the Gander"...

You COULD reply that YOUR manliness is in response
to HER demonstrated shameless 'sluttiness'
to arouse YOUR lust & 'desire' ... to 'have' her RIGHT HERE and NOW!

When was the last time she stroked YOU to erection PUBLICLY?
Japanese gang female fetishists engage in 'Chijo' on unsuspecting office 'salary men' in their morning commute on public transit, til HE climaxes and 'soils' his business suit!
When males likewise publicly sexually fondle unsuspecting Japanese school girls or secretaries its termed 'Chikan'. ;)

SugarSugarplum · Answer

Yeah, can't you kill a lion or something while you two are liplocked? Maybe snake a drain or bang a door ding out of your car? God, SO MASCULINE!

Hannajenky · Answer

Communication is probably important here. It could mean any number of things. Ask her. She may want you to be more aggressive or take control and “ravish” her, or she may mean something else completely different. You have to ask her.

Anonymous · Answer

'she needs more rough stuff.'

A clear sign she has been manhandled by lots and now desensitized to a softer, nicer touch. She knows who you are. The question is why she is with you, and not her usual type.

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

Well getting offended by it and upset by a seemingly simple request isn't masculine lol.

You need to listen to her or at least talk to her specifically about what she wants if she needs to spell it out to you. She's communicating her wants/needs and you're pouting?

If you don't satisfy her... eventually someone else will 🤷‍♂️

provokeesmokee · Answer

Confused, yes. Upset or angry? Nah. Hurt? Eh, sure, but not if you dwell on it.

Ask her to clarify. Is there something wrong or that she doesn't like with how you kiss? Does she want more forceful? More "muscle" in the lip (kiss your hand with relaxed vs "pushing" lips)?

This will give you insight into how (if she can) she communicates about things you're doing that she doesn't prefer.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

What's the benefit in being upset about it? She expressed an opinion/desire. It's your choice whether you want to honor her request.

bannacookies · Answer

I guess, but she is telling you what she wants. If you don't do it because you are uncomfortable you got to tell her that, too. Communication is important.

DarkLegacy · Answer

Yes you are and it is a strange thing for her to come out with. have you had this out with her.

Peridot25 · Answer

What did she mean for you to be more manly and masculine? Like, what specifics did she have in mind?

Unit1 · Answer

Dare I say it, ram your penis in her mouth and then tell her "There!". That's just a general idea to show her.

Anyhoo, she either has phrased it poorly to you and means something specific OR you are the type of boy, that she isn't getting excited about.

Alex-Snow · Answer

Maybe ask her for details on what she means. How is your sex life with her otherwise?

BCA6010 · Answer

Or you could contemplate why she would say such a thing. Try taking the lead and showing initiative more often.

Desi_Butcher · Answer

That's the problem. They'd be blunt about something they like or dislike but you can't expect them to explain. Maybe she wants you to get more aggressive putting your weight on her etc

Crazzyyworld · Answer

Yes you can be mad. She seems to have manly complex. Maybe she is insecure

slatyb · Answer

No. Just ask her what she means. Does she want you to be less solicitous and just do what you want? To go harder? To physically control her, put her where you want her, grip her hair, hands, ?

This is a learnable skill.

MisterWack · Answer

You are absolutely justified in being upset / offended, tell her that what she said was uncalled for and she should treat you with the respect & dignity you deserve.

SotiCoto · Answer

Okay... which would you rather? Be offended... or sarcastically ask her if she can grow her boobs bigger?

integrale77 · Answer

If your wanting to be more manly then no you can't be upset you've got to man up and not let it get to you!

Anonymous · Answer

If she isn’t happy then maybe you need to find someone better. There isn’t any point in one person trying to change the other. Sometimes two people are better off finding someone new who suits them better.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah I'd put that in the back of your mind and the next time she does something that turns you off ask her if she can please act a little more feminine. She how she likes that.

Juxtapose · Answer

She wants you to be rough and dominant. It's not a big deal.

jahaims · Answer

That is just your insecurities. Ask her what she means so you can satisfy her needs.

LunarEclipse433 · Answer

Sounds like she is wanting you to take charge

SeriouslyNotSerious · Answer

Ask her also to be more feminine, twice. 🤭

fuddly · Answer

She's saying... Make a move to stick it in And if you don't listen, you're going to be history

Anonymous · Answer

I assume you were the one that asked her out

Anonymous · Answer

What does she even mean

chrissykerdock · Answer

tell her you need head

noohair · Answer

Ask he what that means?

DrPepper12 · Answer

Wtf? Clarification please?

PatKirby · Answer

DTB.

During making out, my girlfriend asked me if I can be more manly and masculine, twice. Am I justified to be upset/offended?

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During making out, my girlfriend asked me if I can be more manly and masculine, twice. Am I justified to be upset/offended?

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