Why Won't Some People Do A Video Chat Before Meeting?

[Anonymous]

I'm chatting with a woman on Match. com. She wants me to drive to her so we can meet at Starbucks. She lives about an hour from me. I agreed and asked if we could video chat before the meeting, but she refused.

I told her I'd met a few women, and they didn't look like their pictures. If we do a video chat, she can see exactly what I look like and vice versa. However, she refuses to give me her phone number or do a video chat. (I would never have met the women who lied about their appearance if I had known their true appearance.)

Why do you think some people refuse to do a video chat before meeting?

Updates

+1 y

I don't know if this matters, but she is not a paid subscriber. She said there are plenty of men who write to her who have paid the extra fee so that non-paying members can respond.

[Account]

If I thought that the person is worthy of my time, I would video chat in order for them to verify my identity and in order for me to verify theirs.
I wouldn't have any issue with that.
However, I wouldn't video chat for a very long time because I am socially awkward as fuck.
As to why other people wouldn't, well it could be a plethora of reasons such as them feeling self conscious or they do not trust the other person at all, or they feel extreme discomfort, or they simply (just like you said) look very different compared to their photos.

[Asker]

If she doesn't trust the other person at all, or they feel extremely discomfort, she probably wouldn't show up at all.

[bobalife]

I don’t prefer it because it’s so awk to see yourself in a way, plus I look better in person/pics in my opinion than video chatting. However, if someone I develop interest in and they’re requesting - of course, I be okay to do this! It’s a good way to make sure we can verify each others identity and not being cat fish or seeing if we truly have a connection lol. But on dating apps, I’ve rarely been asked to do this before a date and usually the guys seem to really like me but I just feel really awk nonetheless lol.


With this being said, I do think she’s being odd for refusing to do a video chat (red flag or cat fishing potential in my opinion)… it’s honestly normal for people to wanna do video chats before a date for the same reasons I have mentioned at the above other than not wanting to waste their times if there’s no connection on video chats and driving to meet each other.

[dudeinohio]

Tell her that you cannot be held responsible for rejecting her if she doesn't match her pictures and is subject to rejection.

[paledreams]

Hmm I've only ever done that for interviews especially during Covid sort of things 👀😋👀😋

[kylee2437]

The fact that she has no explanation for any of this goes to show she isn’t worth your time.

[Asker]

She recently messaged me on Match. com, emphasizing the importance of trust in a relationship and the need for me to trust her.

[privateperson]

I wouldn't do it - that should be a boundary for you if you had issues in the past. I would be happy to video chat because then I can see you as well and hear your voice and check if there is chemistry - its a win-win situation actually and you don't need phone numbers, you can do a zoom call or share a WhatsApp call link that doesn't reveal the number or even a google meet - there are many options that don't involve sharing phone numbers. It's weird she doesn't want to also see you and hear your voice to check the attraction on her end as well...

[Sour-rose]

Last time I checked... it's the same reason i don't do video interviews... they see my face. They have my gaa dam identity and can do whatever they want with it. Find me, drain me financially, stalk me, the worst. It doesn't take a lot to find someone these days. A nightmare truly.

[PeachyPie93]

Ask her to add you on something that she doesn't need to give you her number. Since it could be she doesn't want you to have her number rn, since you don't know each other yet. If she won't do any video chat, it seems very suspicious.

[Radiate143]

Because you look horrible on video chat. It's so unflattering. I'm an above average looking woman and if I am in video chat ai look loke something lives under bridge. Really does you know favours.

[Nikki1989]

Send one picture, they will want a 100. Do one video chat and they will want it every day. Send a video and they will want more videos. It is really not worth the hassle.

[kylee2437]

I actually turned down a guy once because he was non stop with the asking for pics. I sent a selfie, he asked for more. We FaceTimed, he asked for more. It was so bizarre. Sending pics and stuff should be something natural

[Nikki1989]

@kylee2437 I have been through the same thing. Sending one pic is fine, but it rarely ends there. I had a guy on here that would beg for pics every single day till it ended in what can only be called harassment.

[kylee2437]

@Nikki1989 I got bored of it real fast plus the FaceTime call I caught him saying “I’m on the phone with my girl” we never met before. I’m also the kind of person to get dressed up only when I want to so all the pictures requests felt like invasion of privacy. Not sure why some men are like that

[GeminiDiamond]

Do the video chat. Pics? Blah blah. You are about to meet someone you are interested in.

[Anonymous]

mmm i don't video date but i'm 50/50 on this one, i can see good arguments on both sides

tell her if things don't add up when you meet in person she has to give you a hundred dollar bill

[rienna888]

because usually in pictures and videos, they're not interested. But when we meet in person, they are so thats why

[DishLady]

🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[Theodoricus]

She's a scammer. Don't trust her.

[MrDaveAPSI]

don't use dating apps, they're scams