A person you break it off with keeps texting you?

[Anonymous]

A guy (20) and I liked each other for a few months, we never dated, we never slept with each other- we never even held hand, higher or kissed!
He was really nice but then with how extremely unhygienic he is, I got bitten by bed bugs real bad at his house, he hasn’t had a job for 4 months and doesn’t do anything… even after I told him I’m not into him and we won’t ever be anything l, the guy messages me EVERY SINGLE day to ask “how was your day” or “how are you today”. Sometimes I take 5 hours to reply in hopes he gets the message but he doesn’t. I get sent 20+ videos daily on instagram from him to watch and my brain can’t handle that…

He’s a really sweet guy and really nice but I also do deserve better… I want to be a wife and mother someday and to a good man, this one is not it…

What do I do about him messaging me the exact same messages daily and sending me 20+ videos? HELP

Updates

1 y

I probably should add him and I were friends before this and he is a good guy, it just makes blocking him hard

[CrazyGirl2]

First, I think your mistake was climbing into bed with a man you have ZERO romantic interest in. Now he believes that the woman who although he may not have kissed or held hands with, is into him because she agreed to get in bed with him. (You don’t ged bed bug bites, sitting on the couch watching Netflix.) Second, bed bugs have nothing to do with hygiene. This guy could be the most hygienic man on earth, and still have gotten bedbugs. They are notorious for hitchhiking their way into your home! If you were in a home with bedbugs… The chances are you now have bedbugs in your home!

How Do You Get Bed Bugs in Your House?
So, how do you get bed bugs in the first place? Bed bugs are notorious for their hitchhiking abilities. If you’re suddenly experiencing signs of a bed bug infestation in your home for the first time, they likely snuck their way in as a stowaway on a purse, luggage, or clothing, or used furniture.

Secondhand furniture, particularly mattresses, box springs, couches, and chairs, may be harboring hungry bed bugs. If you purchased any secondhand furniture, even a used picture frame at a yard sale be sure to thoroughly inspect the item for any evidence of bed bugs before bringing them into your home (or car). Even a food delivery person, can introduce bedbugs into your home, if one dropped off them as they waited for you to pay.
Source: https://www.pestworld.org/news-hub/pest-articles/how-do-you-get-bed-bugs/

However, at this point you need to ask yourself, "Do I really want this guy in my life at all?”. If you do, then you need to be open and honest with him. Take him to lunch, as your treat. Then tell him “There is no romantic relationship between us, and there never will be. I do like you in a friendly way, but that's as far as it will ever go. Also, I need you to stop texting me 20 times a day, or even once a day. If you need to ask me something, then yes, text me. but it cannot be every day and certainly not 20+ texts every day. This has got to stop. I really do like you as a friend, and I do not want to lose you as a friend. But if you cannot stop this behavior, I’m going to have to block you permanently.” Then ask him if he understands, when he says he does, ask him politely to please do you a favor and repeat back to you, what he heard. That way he cannot tell you later that it was “just a misunderstanding!"

Alternatively, if you do not want him in your life as a friend, then you need to tell him that and ask him to stop texting you. that way if he doesn't, when you block him, you won't feel guilty because you would've already told him that if he texts you again, you will block him. One way or another the only way I see this ending is with you blocking him, and cutting him out of your life, unless he respects your wishes, and stops texting you as you requested. Also, you might want to let him know about the bedbugs. That way, at least he has a chance to eradicate them! It's hardly fair of you to cut ties with a guy because he has bedbugs, but not tell him that he has bedbugs. Which, while difficult to eradicate on one's own, it's easily done with a pest control, professional.

I wish you the best of luck
Sincerely, Laura. 🤗 🥰

[Asker]

First of all I didn’t get into bed with him lol. I sat on his bed waiting for him to get his things ready to get his car out the impound.
And I’m not ending things with him just because of bedbugs. He IS unhygienic and his family. The shower hasn’t been washed in years so is black and hair on every single thing including the sink. He has plates and forks and food on his bedroom floor, he won’t even clean at all if I come over to play games etc. His couches probably do have bed bugs too considering how dirty their whole house is. The kitchen looks like it not been clean in years too… I’d never eat there because of how foul it is. I went over a few times trying to just ignore it but couldn’t hence why I’m at this point.
It’s hard to cut off ties because we were friends before but I didn’t realise things were this bad. I was honestly just delusional and had horrible friends that tried to make it into something it’s not. Not showering for 3 days and not brushing your teeth for 3 days is majorly off putting… hygiene is extremely important to me so yea im leaving because of his hygiene but also because he couldn’t even plan a date, ask me out, make any moves but followed girls he used to have a thing with that now post half naked photos…
Yeah bye lol my future husband wouldn’t be like this.
My issue is I don’t know how to address anything that’s happening right now

[Asker]

Also, this was all back in January and I last really saw him mid February 😅 so nearly 4 months of briefly seeing him, my dry texts and zero interest on my behalf and he still is like this… yikes

[Nikki1989]

Block him.

Disable messaging on your phone (mine has been disabled for years).

Turn your phone off. There is no need for a phone to be turned on 24/7.

[Asker]

Yeah I just feel bad because him and I weee good friends before all of this😅 so it feels harder and I don’t want to look like an asshole

[OlderAndWiser]

Most likely, he knows there is no future for romance but he is probably very lonely. The description of his behavior sounds as if he has a personality disorder and it is probably difficult for him to meet people and even more difficult to retain friends.

But that doesn't mean that it is your duty to be his friend.

Ghosting is not necessary. You can do this in a way that will actually be perceived as a compliment. Tell him that you have started dating someone new, the new guy does not understand why you are still hearing from someone that you dated in the past, and you really like this guy so - to appease the guy - you need to block him on your phone and all social media. Tell him that you are sure he understands and wish him good luck on finding the right woman for him. Then block him just as you told him you would do.

[sawno]

He is very dedicated to making it work, so replying slowly will come across like you are waiting until you have time. You gotta be blunt and direct, just tell him you aren't interested anymore to keep talking with each other and if he doesn't get that you block.

[Asker]

Thing is, I told him like back in February that we’ll never be anything and I’m not interested in anymore😅 we were good friends before so I don't know if that’s what’s making him do this but we can’t go back to being friends either.

[AviatorTom]

Just ignore them. There's no rule that you have to read and respond to every message you get. And feel free to just delete them... if you want.

[MASTER_ISH]

not gonna lie, its somewhere mistake in boys mind they think they will love you upto that extant that no-one can they belive in so called true love and soulmate stuff... its a sign of immature person he has low self esteem, wants someone to love them and they probably themself not love them ... may be someday text him about fully your concern without thinking whether it will hurt him or not... i had same experience, i am a boy and i was in his same situation... and one fine-day i said her "just stay happy that all i want" and deleted every way of contacting her, again not gonna lie.. it took me a month to accept that ok i did it for her... i cried and cried for days... you know what i am free know... well i am still single 🤣... but now i am fucking living and happy... so just tell me and block him... u know some goodbyes are blessing... it will for him also... and like MUNIBA MAZARI SAID - SOMEONES ABSENCE MAKES YOU A BETTER PERSON.

[ProbablyClueless]

You have to get comfortable enforcing your boundaries; that will mean having an awkward conversation.

Tell him that you aren't comfortable with his texting because you've told him that you aren't interested in dating him.

[DishLady]

You need to block him. (You couldn’t have figured that out?)

[Asker]

I probably should’ve added why I haven’t, him and I were friends before and he’s a good guy, just with these problems

[DishLady]

No... no one cares if you were friends before if he's this person now. As they say, "The road to hell is paved with good intensions." You need to deal with how he is today, not in the past.

[Asker]

Yeah this is very true… thank you for the help

[Date_a_Snob]

I just had to ask what you use on your hair. You look amazing!

[Asker]

It’s not my real hair x you just have to have good genetics so you don’t have to get extensions. Your hair looks great

[GeminiDiamond]

I mean if the d is good.

[Asker]

I never slept with him ever nor have we ever been physical in any sort of way. We’ve been basically friends. I’m not into sleeping around either

[GeminiDiamond]

OK..

[Knightwatch27]

Never heard of blocking?

[Asker]

Probably should’ve added that him and I were friends before all this and he is a good guy just with all these problems which makes it hard to just block ya know?😅

[moneymagnet24]

Block him
No need intelligence to dp that

[Asker]

Even if we had been friends? I’m worried I’ll look like an asshole

[moneymagnet24]

Then enjoy his text Babe 😘😘

[MASTER_ISH]

well at that moment his asshole not you... see it like it happening to me and i am saying please block me and save me... for gods sake

[In_Trance]

block them