If I have sex with him , will he stay with me?

Question

last year , I went to another town, I lost my mobile my cards, he took me to the best hotel , we were together for 2 days , after 3-4 months he came to my town we went to the expensive restaurant, I kissed him , his body was very hot , we said I luv u very much I can’t wait to kiss you would u please come to my house, I didn’t accept…. He went to his town , after 5 months it was his birthday I told him I bought you a gift …. he came but it was snowing he called me late ! I didn’t answer him , after that I sent him msgs ok let’s meet up, but he doesn’t come!!! , he keep saying I’m coming I still luv you…. But he doesn’t….

also I was flirting with his friend too!!! Did I do something wrong?
I really like his body , can’t stop thinking about him, but we saw each other only 3 or 4 times… but it’s more than a one year…

coxoabean · Accepted Answer

If he's not a player yes, Be careful giving your heart away. Too many boys are players. I don't know how many times a boy talked to me, just to make me feel terrible afterwards. This is the reason I'm still pure, not because I don't have the chance, because too many boys are players and just want you to get what they want. Once they get what they want, they stop talking to you or anything. So, I would just be extra cautious, unless you think you can handle all the emotions and stuff. I am learning that there are good guys out there, they are just rare. Don't go with the guy that's talking about being s*xual with you right away. He's likely not good. You'll give your heart away to him, but in his head he might just want to fool around with you till he feels he's done. A good friend of mine reminded me, when I told him that Some boys kept hurting me, he said "It's not all the boys fault, it's yours too. You keep choosing to talk to these lame guys" He reminded me, that we have the choice to make a good decision. We either go with what we're getting now, or wait for a good guy and good opportunity. I feel like I have recently been played by someone, and so right now, I think back to what he told me. It's ok to say no to a guy who is just trying to play you. Thing is, of he doesn't work for youz if he's not the one messaging you on his own, or trying to get to know you, you can know, he likely isn't really invested in your guys relationship. He should pursue you, and work for you, if he does it'll only help him appreciate you more. Play a tiny bit of hard to get, not a lot, but stop messaging him, see if he messages you first, don't make plans first, see if he will make them on his own. He should be the one wanting to make plans, of course let this go on only for a little bit of time, until you see, yes, he is invested in me. Then, that's when I would say, have sex with him. He might be more likely to stay, if he worked for you. Don't ever make it easy for a guy to have sex with you, or don't sext with guys, send them nudes, at least till you know, he is invested in you. Boys can get it to easy sometimes. They know what to say to get a girl to do what he wants. They shower you with gifts, and compliments telling you your the only girl they did this and that with, telling you what they know you want to hear. Then, when you give them what they want, they use you, then they leave, stop talking to you. Ignore you, making you feel so hurt inside. Boys like this are Boys, NOT men. Men stay, men work hard for a girl, men don't use a girl they know is vulnerable, instead they see a vulnerable girl, and try to win her heart over. A boy sees a girl is vulnerable, and thinks this is perfect. He will use a girl if he knows she will give it to him easy. Those kinds of boys are messed up they really are. I'm sick of them, but like my good friend he had told me, it's not all there fault either, I need to stop letting them have it super easy.

SeriouslyNotSerious · Accepted Answer

More context please. :) Why didn't he come when you asked him to?

Lliam · Accepted Answer

Not necessarily.
Some guys simply pursue a girl until she gives in. They think she is attractive and just want to succeed in taking her for a spin. They are often doing the same with other girls at the same time. They feel no empathy or emotional connection, only lust.

But that's not true for all guys. Some fall into deep infatuation when they make love with a sweet, beautiful girl.

Men and women aren't all too different in that sense. Some feel deep connection and some don't.

Some feel that sex is a very special gift that one shares with another. It creates deep emotional connection.

It was that way with me and all my girlfriends. We fell into long-term, monogamous, infatuated relationships. Sex was one of the reasons.
I wouldn't have pursued them for long if we didn't become sexual.
Joyous, mutually satisfying sex was a strong bond. It created infatuation.

So, I think sex at some point is essential, at least for me. That's what it means to be dedicated to each other. Without it, we would just be friends.

I had lots of friends, but I also wanted a female partner to go places, do things and share experiences with; to have conversations, laugh, dance, hold hands and cuddle. I wanted sex and romance.

The thing is, though, not all long-term relationships that begin with infatuation result in marriage. Sometimes we have a connection and wondrous sex but the relationship doesn't last.
It hurts badly when the relationship falls apart, but we can look back at how good it was for a while. And there is nothing wrong with having sex that doesn't result in a life-long relationship.

The thing that women hate is being taken advantage of and used by some guy. I totally get that. But even if that happens, there is nothing shameful about sex, itself.

hahahmm · Accepted Answer

You sent the message that he's not that important to you & eventually he listened to that message. meanwhile some other woman who is hotter than you or at least way nicer has gotten his attention. And she's not ignoring his phone calls.

If I had a dollar for every woman I turned down/passed down I'd be super rich. Life goes on. A guy doesn't need YOU when you haven't really built a strong relationship. You treated it like a game/joke and it is what it is. Learn & move on. If you really want a guy don't act like you don't.

Finchie40 · Answer

No , sex doesn’t determine if someone is going to stay with you or not , and the fact that you flirted with his friend probably ruined your chances with him , his friend probably told him the truth if he is a good friend to him , so you are pretty much shit out of luck with that one

Keyboardkat · Answer

I'm sorry, but you sound a bit all-over-the-place for a woman of 38! Are you contemplating sleeping with a guy JUST SO HE'LL STAY WITH YOU? Are you THAT needy and self-disrespecting that you'll take anybody, so long as he's male and breathing and seems turned on by you? I think you're on the road to huge disappointment. It doesn't seem you mean that much to him, and if you sleep with him, he will probably count you as one of the notches on his belt! The late radio psychologist Dr. Joy Brown said that a girl needs two things before she sleeps with a guy: A ring and a wedding date.! For heaven's sake, do yourself a favor: DON'T SLEEP WITH A GUY WHO ISN'T COMMITTED TO YOU! Just don't do it! You deserve more than that!

sawno · Answer

Men don't automatically bond over sex, so will depend on his personality and what he is after.

Rockey_the_bicker · Answer

Think positive and enjoy,, it will be fun for both of you

Twalli · Answer

No guarantee that having sex will keep him. Also flirting with his friend doesn't exactly show you in a good light for him.

slatyb · Answer

You can't trade sex for love or commitment. Have sex if you want to have sex. If you don't want to, then he's not the man for you.

bowenw · Answer

Talk to him to see if he is serious about you or if you are just a friend. Find a different guy if he is not serious and not behaving like a he is.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Nope. Sleeping with that man isn't going to give you a thing aside from a romp in the hay.

Theodoricus · Answer

You can bound nobody by having sex. Because love is in the heart, not between legs. As a 38 years lady, you should know this.

Anonymous · Answer

Lol….. probably to have sex. You can’t force someone to stay.

ehatsham_hussain · Answer

Depends on the guy , if he is decent and honest, he will stay

smd_5545 · Answer

It's not necessarily that he would stay with you if you slept with him. Move on live your life fullest.

Wiredone · Answer

If he's not a player he'll stay

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

He will not.

noohair · Answer

Mnd over body.

If I have sex with him , will he stay with me?

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If I have sex with him , will he stay with me?

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