If I’ve been sleeping with him for 10 years does he see a future with me?

[Blahblah777_]

I was 16 when I hooked up with this guy in high school and from then until now we’ve always been each others “go to” I guess for no strings attached incredible sex. There’s been times where we’ve both been in relationships and took time away from each other, but both of our relationships failed in the past & when they do we find ourselves back doing our thing. I’ve never had a emotional connection to him because we never let it get to that. We talk and catch each other up on life & laugh/ joke just like you would any other friend. Recently for the first time in 10 years he spent the night at my house. It was for sure an amazing time and we spent that morning together too getting breakfast. After he left we both continued to do our own thing, never texting (we only communicate on IG) but we’ll give attention through basic social media likes and comments. He’s referred to me as his wife before in the last couple weeks when asking to see me. I don't know if he’s just playing or is hinting something but keeping it g. I recently moved states but he talk about coming to see me. Do you think our relationship is and always will be just spontaneous sex or could this evolve in to something? Also I’m 25 not 29.

[Vesuvius87]

Remove sex and ''oh the moon and the stars, daydreaming'' passion. Now besides that what else is there, what are his goals in the near future, what are the living arrangements, what does he think about marriage and kids?

If you can't answer any of that, then nope there is no future. I learned the hard way that if a man gives you ''one day'' answers and there is too much passion but no real goals and no engagement ring, there is 0% future. You're wasting your time and your years on nothing but sex. Any man can make you his girlfriend and gives you sex and pleasure. So what, big deal. Very few will take take the plunge and actually invest and spend money on a marriage, actually buy the product instead of just going for the worthless fee stuff.

[Vesuvius87]

Don't ever let a man call you his wife unless he makes you his wife. You're not his wife. You're nothing but a girlfriend (nowadays more women are really roommates or friends with benefits under the fake title of ''girlfriend'') he can dump any time, he has one foot out the door.

[Blahblah777_]

I totally get that, and agree with that. And like I said we do have conversations and I know exactly what his long-term goals are. We have had conversations of about how we’re both going to be driving nice cars pulling up to one another and celebrating our achievements. We’ve also talked about traveling together once we both get our money up. But we also don’t talk on a day-to-day, we don’t hang out I don’t hang out with any of his friends daughters hang out with mine. It’s almost like we live in our own little world and I do think that the words and feelings are expressed are genuine, because he’s an entrepreneur and I am as well. We both see a bigger vision for our future and me personally I haven’t really committed to two interpersonal healing, but also because I don’t want the distraction. I’m trying to build a stable foundation and a legacy that my family can live off of. And to me if I have somebody who I can connect with on a physical and mental level and not have the stress or worry of having to cater to their needs because they are grown enough to do that themselves and when we link together it’s nothing but pleasure and joy and fun.

What would you call that kind of relationship?

[Blahblah777_]

I didn’t mean to say daughters. I meant to say nor does he hang out with my friends. Also he is a man that puts God first before anything. He’s definitely a family man and does want kids in the future.

[Vesuvius87]

You're in an on and off relationship type with no real timeframe. Spending money on travelling together but not commitment is what couples that just want to enjoy the moment and like what they have do. If he wanted kids in the future, then travelling together would be in last place. He's no where close to wanting kids soon.
You can't really afford to wait 4+ years.

[hhadeshatesme]

I doubt it. Seems like you’re just his designated rebound. He probably knows you won’t turn him down which is why he comes back when his relationships fizzle out. Just cause a man sleeps with you and spends time with you doesn’t mean he sees potential in you and having something more. A lot of men are comfortable wasting their time and others if the situation benefits them

[Staximus]

Why the hell would you only communicate on Instagram after this long? That's so fucking juvenile. You both need to grow the fuck up and stop being in denial, stop fighting it. After all this time, this is the first time he spent the night? You need to let him into your life and he needs to do the same, and stop putting up walls between each other. Time to act like adults. Why don't the two of you actually go out and do something romantic together and give tech other a chance. If you can't bring yourself to let somebody into your life, you will curse yourself with shallow relationships.

[Blahblah777_]

I know it’s hella childish for sure. It’s mostly me too not wanting to let my walls down or ruin something but I’m also aware that not taking risks won’t get you anywhere. I’m just not good with communicating my feelings especially because I truly do feel strongly for him. But the dynamic of our relationship has always been the same.

[Guy13]

It does not sound like it. There should have been a wedding 💍 long time ago. This is just me…you are intimately involved snd know more than me. What’s your heart ❤️ tell you ⁉️

[Blahblah777_]

The thing is that I’ve been going though my own healing journey that has prevented me from being in genuine committed relationships. Which is why all my previous relationships have failed. I appreciate me and this guys relationship because there’s never been any pressure for commitment. It’s just been all love and mutual respect. But now that I’m getting older I’m wanting something more serious. And I could see myself with him if we spent more time together.

[Guy13]

It does not work that way. Ultimately, we never see you past the girl who I exercise with” on a regular basis…. He doesn’t have the capacity for long-term as he is desensitized. Read Hooked book. It was once I’m medical journal. It describes what happens to Body counters, friends with benefits, and Porn watcher neurologically, emotionally, and behaviorally. Your brain 🧠 is rewired. This is from medical journal ‼️

[Ezra_lila]

I just remember the Movie Titled: Friend with Benefit.

Anyway, communication is the key. You should asked about what is your real score. It is really hard to assume unless the other party stated it.

Even for a clothes it need to be branded to verify its legit.

[EmmaMary]

What an absolute fucking waste of life!

For fucks sake Grow Up and get a fucking life before it's too fucking late. smh

[LazerBean]

If he saw a future with you, you would have heard something about it about 9 years ago.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound like it to me.