Does he just want to sleep with me?

[ZainabAli123]

So l have known my best friend for years well since he’s been the age of 17 and I have expressed interest in him back in the past (not anymore) my interest lasted for 6+ years but all that time all he ever did was make fun of me and just not FaceTime me etc…

I have been back in re connection with him it’s a come and go thing cause we argue a lot but soo many times he has hinted to me that maybe we should have Sex.. he just won’t connect with me like my other male friends do.. we have had an argument several times because when he talks to me is the time when he’s always drunk and around his friends never when he is alone.

Not gonna lie I have actually had about enough of it I have tried to cut him off and ignore him but he always calls me on Facebook the thing is that he’s hurt me many times in the past and even now… he has made it blunt what he wants like when I was talking to him we got into a little argument and he literally said to me “I’d much rather have sex with someone then be talking to you”.

I remember feeling w broken heart and balling my eyes out crying I do laugh about it when I talk to him but only to hide the pain and scaring that’s been caused…. We spoke today and once again he asked me how old I was which he already knows and he asked me who I am yet we been talking for years see what I mean.

next he proceeded to ask me my age and if I’m still a virgin him knowing I’m a Muslim he responded with a “oh you can’t have it before marriage can you” I then told him I can’t he then said okay let’s get married but after I will give you a devorce once again my heart is broken and I’m sick of this shit now.

I have come to realise girls like me who aren’t pretty and are only used to help her other girls will NEVER get a happily ever after.. 🙁🙁🙁😭😭😭😭 was it all my fault I don’t know please help am I being used for sex etc…

[Rizwan_khan]

Honestly speaking zainab I think you are a very smart girl but it's okh some time we do make mistakes. But let me tell you one think never give anyone to control you and your emotion. By reading you content I just got one thing that he never respect you at all and who told you that girls like you always used for sex. See you are givening the chance to those person who can play with your emotion. Never underestimate your self to anyone just because you are not beautiful which is I'm sure not true. everyone is beautiful in their own way. if we talk about sex then it is your body if don't wanna sex with that whatever the reason is wheather relegious or personal choise it is totally okh it is your body and choise should be yours. He is so desparate for sex go some where else or go to brothels. Just stop talking to that person and ignore him from every thing if you not like him any more then you can do it.

[Sixgunsound]

If he won’t respect you or your culture then he doesn’t deserve your attention, time, or body. It’s that simple. If a man doesn’t respect you or have a genuine emotional connection to you not just your body parts (you aren’t the only one who has those body parts, so he can get what he wants from someone else’s body parts next time which does not require you specifically) he will disappear once he gets what he wants from you. Cut your losses and don’t walk away, RUN!!!

[ZainabAli123]

I have tried to tell him no and even ignored the questions he just don’t add care he’s still trying

[Sixgunsound]

If the lower head is making his decisions for him, once it figures out he isn’t getting in there with you he will bother someone else. You could try overtly stating yo him that you aren’t going to have sex with him in the hopes of accelerating his figuring it out, or just block him. There is clearly no friendship left and he does not respect you or your wishes or desires or bodily sovereignty and rights.

[Sixgunsound]

If he legit doesn’t know who you are then you are just a body part to him that he might score with. He’s probably harassing multiple women hoping one finally says yes. Tell him to try masturbating and seeing if the post ejaculation mental clarity helps him figure out different ways to get his needs met besides taking advantage of you who have already said no.

[ZainabAli123]

It’s just me he does it to other girls sleep with him
When he asks it’s just me I have said no soo many times he won’t accept it or listen he’s proving to be complicated

[Sixgunsound]

It’s not complicated. You won’t give it up, his ego wants to believe it can get anyone, and the two are fundamentally incompatible. Is he Muslim too? Is there any chance you might be a fetish he is obsessed with crossing off his bucket list? If he’s getting sex elsewhere, most humans take the path of least resistance which would reasonably lead to those other girls and thus away from you. I still don’t follow why you are giving him any of your attention or time if he won’t understand that no means no. If he thinks he can just wear you down until your resistance collapses that might be why he keeps trying. Know this: if your resistance does collapse that he will NEVER leave you alone again now that he knows he can defeat you. My recommendation remains the same, cut your losses of time and emotion already wasted on him and don’t walk, RUN! Block all the things and tell your mutual friends what a scumbag he is being who won’t take no for an answer. Better yet, tell the girls who are giving it to him that he’s still propositioning you while getting it from them and watch them go from Amazon river to desert between their legs whenever he approaches. Turn your no into a group no from all of the girls he’s after!

[ZainabAli123]

I blocked him just now on all social media even his number I have been crying about it because I decided that I felt trapped and too bothered by him

[Sixgunsound]

Sorry to hear that he’s still making you cry, but I’m happy to hear you took this important first step in getting him away from you. You are more than a hole to fill his needs in, and he clearly does not understand that or respect you as a human being with rights and dignity and agency who gets a say in the matter as it’s your body and your faith not his. I wish I could send you a hug but the best I can do is tell you that it hurts short term now, but if you gave him what he wanted and he cast you aside the next morning that would hurt long term-forever. He has caused you enough suffering, and though it may not seem like it at the moment it really is better this way.

[MrOracle]

If you were from a western culture, I'd tell you that men - at least, single, straight men - cannot be "just friends" with girls if they find them at all attractive - and it's rare for them to be friends with girls they don't find attractive. I would tell you to end this farce of a "friendship" because it never really was one - he was ALWAYS ultimately hoping to have sex with you.

And that's PROBABLY true here, but I don't know enough about the nuances of your culture and what's common for you. Probably most of us here don't, so it's difficult for us to really help you - but there might be a few people who are more familiar with your culture and can give you a better answer. Hopefully that's the case. I wish you the best.

[ZainabAli123]

Well then why is it different for the lads I work with then they have seen me in person and he hasn’t he’s only seen decent pics of me

[MrOracle]

Guys can be acquaintances or colleagues - they can be friendly towards you - but being "friends" means that you spend your personal free time with them on a regular basis by choice, and you talk about more personal things (at least at times) than you would in a work environment. Plus, given modern sexual harassment laws in most places, guys tend to keep girls they work with at arm's length to avoid problems.

[ZainabAli123]

Well you are wrong about that point cause where I work it is okay to make friends actually they convince you to make friends that also means hanging outside of work including dating etc if feelings are mutual… you are putting all guys in the same list but it’s not like that at all guys can just be friends with girls straight guys can. Apart from this lad I have many other guys who are friends with me yeah they have showed little interests in me but when they realised they can pursue it they have just remained mates with me. Also it’s nottjing to do with your culture or being western or not you’d find that even Asian guys who are Muslims and Indians they do it as well…. In fact they are the two religions that won't accept friendship

[MrOracle]

What you don't realize is that if the guys want to sleep with you, then they're not really "just friends" with you - instead, they're pretending to be your friend while they wait for an opportunity to sleep with you.

Don't believe me? Offer them sex, and see if they turn you down (someone who was really "just friends" would turn you down.) And, if you tell them that they will never, ever get to sleep with you, you'll probably find that most of them drift away and lose interest in you. Why? Because they're not in it for the friendship - and that impacts your relationship with them whether you want to believe it or not.

[ZainabAli123]

I have told him that I don’t want to have sex with him instead he constantly asks and keeps bringing it up in fact he said to me that cause I’m my culture we can only do sex after marriage he would sleep with me then divorce me he even mentioned that once we get divorced I wouldn’t have to ever speak to him again

[MrOracle]

He still believes he has a chance - you haven't killed all hope for him. Once you do, he'll go away.

[ZainabAli123]

I even told him I liked someone else and that I have no feelings towards him what so ever he just won’t take no for an answer

[20yearsolder]

If you think you're being used for sex you probably are. Here's a novel idea, stop having sex and see if they disappear

[ZainabAli123]

I haven’t had sex with him at all he just keeps asking it

[ZainabAli123]

I haven’t had sex with him when he asks I keep saying no he just don’t take that for an answer in fact he will try again weeks later you see my point

[20yearsolder]

So why do you continue to take his calls? Don't read his text don't take his calls. Muslim women are so submissive they just put up with bullshit over and over and over. Stand up for yourself and tell him to go fuck himself. To leave you alone

[nawtee_me]

Do not give in to him... He wants only sex and nothing more. The friendship would be lost right after having sex with him. He is trash, throw him away now...

[Jamie05rhs]

He made fun of you for 6 years, and now he wants to have SEX with you?
Oh, HAIL no!

[ZainabAli123]

Yeah his mates wonder why I like him

[Jamie05rhs]

@ZainabAli123 You need to drop him, girl.

[ZainabAli123]

Well I have but I’m not happy about it

[Jamie05rhs]

@ZainabAli123 You'll never be happy about anything regarding that guy. It was just a messed up situation all around. That is why you're better off without him; trust me on that.

[ZainabAli123]

I’m kind of getting used to not talking to him now I mean ever since I blocked him I feel that I can now focus on one thing only that’s myself

[Jamie05rhs]

@ZainabAli123 That's Good!! ✊

[TallAnon]

Yeah, take your time to meet someone who wants to spent time on you, it will happen eventually.

[ZainabAli123]

I doubt that

[TallAnon]

You seem pretty cute, you have nice big eyes, I'm sure there's a decent amount of guys that will fall in love with you. It's statistically impossible they will all just want to fuck you.

[scott04sa22]

that won't happened to me since i don't drive and i'm unable to for life

[TallAnon]

No one cares if you can drive, getting an uber works. If you can't go outside at all, that's rough.

[scott04sa22]

it matters where im at and its my top rejections i get all the time from women.

[scott04sa22]

and yes i do go out a lot

[TallAnon]

Weird, I would move.
I have my license, but no one cares, including me.

[scott04sa22]

all my family is here. if i move ill still get the same results. looks, size and money matters and i dont have money like bill gates has : (

[TallAnon]

I have the benefit of being 6'7 and I have a decent job, but with that in mind I've never had any troubles. Just try and be more kind to people? 🙂

[scott04sa22]

im always kind to people

[CuriousMufuxka]

You initially just wanted to rob the cradle! What a mess of emotions.

[Waldoe]

he is trying to use you... I think he will never stop trying

[Trevelyan88]

Yes he just wants to sleep with you, stay away

[SignedAutographs]

Yeah

[ZainabAli123]

Okay dunno what yeah was for

[SignedAutographs]

I was answering the title

[htmndg183]

Yes. Its only lust.

[ZainabAli123]

I know it is

[htmndg183]

You're better than this. You deserve better. If a person knows you for many years, thats more than enough time to appreciate someone on more than looks.

[ZainabAli123]

The thing is he legit asked me who I was today etc and it’s soo frustrating when he does that it’s out of control now I have said no to him soo many times or have just ignored his question but he still just seems to go on about it I’m sorta loosing control

[htmndg183]

Thats his problem. Next time just say you're calling the police on him for verbal assault.

[ZainabAli123]

He won’t take it serious though I’ve had enough I really have I’m soo freaking fed up I feel trapped like I can’t do what I wanna do or date people I wanna date without thinking he’d be jelaous etc

[htmndg183]

Date whoever you want. His attitude towards you is disrespectful in the first place. Even if he does get jealous, thats his problem. Not your's

[ZainabAli123]

Yeah he will get jealous and then try to frustrate me even more

[htmndg183]

You'll have your new man on your side to tell him to back off.

[htmndg183]

Why do you have to face him? You can block him. If someone's presence in life is doing you more harm than good, then you have to let them go.

[In_Trance]

pretty much