How do I stop getting black out drunk as a coping method (I always end up in terrible situations)?

Question

Basically I don’t work or drive or have any real friends at all, I stopped going to college bc of my mental health don’t have a boyfriend or any positive influences in my life I spend most of my time at the gym then I will walk, my dog, watch YouTube / Netflix / chill with my parents / meal prep repeat.

often times it’s lonely, I’ll make plans to get drunk a handful of times per month, with random girls from social media I’ve formed somewhat friendship with and 9/10 I will end up disgustingly sloppy drunk and end up in some alarming situation wether it be fighting with another person, or doing something CRAZY or end up with some guy trying to take advantage, even started experimenting with drugs when I had been against them my whole life want to change but I feel like I don’t have the courage to. I feel not good enough for everything.. (I have applied for college in fall)

Any tips?

nolabels · Accepted Answer

As a semi-recovering alcoholic myself, I've found that the only way to not drink is to not drink.

I want some whiskey really bad this very second, but I'm choosing not to do so.

It's a hard thing to do to not drink when every last fiber of your being is calling out for it.
Many people who themselves don't suffer from alcoholism, unfortunately, mock or unduly criticize us who do find it to be a problem.
My advice about that is to ignore them.
They know not what they do.
I myself found that attendance at AA meetings to not be to my liking, but I am in favor of following the tenets that the group was founded on as a means of staying off alcohol.
Here they are, below. There are publications that help people understand and put them into action in their lives.
Perfection in adhering to them is impossible, as we are human beings.
Continuing to strive towards them, though, will help, I believe, anyway.
If you fall, get up and start over again.
You lose only if you let yourself stay down after falling.
I wish you the best of luck.

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Makeushiver · Accepted Answer

It sounds as if you already know but getting black out drunk is not a good coping mechanism. If you want to reply here or via DM about what specifically you are getting drunk about. If it's anticipating a social situation esp. w/ a guy where sex may well be in the cards I understand the rationale. It allows you to act w/o inhibitions. As \you probably realize, An additional problem to finding places to meet people is so limited to bars, clubs, wherever alcohol is served. also, bars/lounges are one of the more common places for socializing and often leads to a claim, "I'm not going to do that anymore". Unfortunately, when the time comes, your mind changes or it seems easier and it's easy to tell yourself you're making a mountain out of a molehill. The problem with getting loaded is that eventually it becomes a requirement and you feel like it is necessary for intimacy. If you are already there it may be time to seek help. The problem with drinking is over time it always gets worse.

Intimacy as well as sexuality is not for real when it is always done under influence of alcohol. If you want to DM me for any more info I'd be happy to help. I've had experiences with partners who could only relax when loaded as well as some of my own. There is a whole world out there available that does not include alcohol and though it may seem like you are kissing your fun life goodbye, many people. find that it's a doorway to a much better life.

Finchie40 · Answer

Try to make real friends that want to do other things rather than drinking all the time , find yourself a hobby you can focus on , that you never really done before , and you more than likely will make good friends that way.

RingOfFire · Answer

It sounds like you're headed down a bad road. I really think you need professional intervention. My recommendation would be to speak to your doctor about it. It shouldn't be embarrassing because this is a common problem people have. But you are clearly suffering and I think you will need professional help to get the relief you need. This is beyond what strangers on the internet can help you with.

I think the sooner you get that help the better before something really bad happens.

You need to find your direction and purpose in life. That's what will get you past this.

Staximus · Answer

I think you should never drink again. The best thing some of my friends ever did for themselves was quit drinking. Alcohol is not for everybody. If you keep drinking to the point of not remembering, one day you might not wake up in jail, the hospital, or in some strange place. You just might not wake up at all. I've worked at a few bars over the years. You can't drown yourself in alcohol or drugs. Eventually you go to sleep, wake up, and then there you are looking yourself in the mirror again, wondering where the last few years went. You can't run away from yourself, there's no point in trying to destroy yourself trying. What you need to learn is self-acceptance and to be at peace with yourself.

HusamRocks · Answer

Ur doing great, not the drinking part though

U can't make friends if u don't get in touch in people like Uni for example so u have to blend in until u find someone who shares the same interest as urs 👍🏻
Good luck

Anonymous · Answer

You need God, Jesus and the entire Holy Kingdom in your life. Do you think you are here on this vast Earth only to do those things that you mentioned, or is there more to life than that?

I used to be a non believer. There was a time where I used to get drunk 3 days a week and I also found myself in less than ideal situations. It was decades later that I found God and my life has transformed. I've seen miracles, healings and God work in my life, and others. Ask God to come into your life and see.

Knightwatch27 · Answer

It's addiction, and you need to start by creating new habits, something you make your go-to when the urge to drink comes on. Start immidiately going for a walk or jog, or watch a movie, read a book etc. Create new cognitive shortcuts in your mind.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

Ooooohboy… 😤
Do you have a regular pub or something? Could you have them put you on a no-alcohol list? One stern „No alcohol for you, missy!“ would probably be enough to keep you on the wagon for the night.

Jersey2 · Answer

You have to completely stop drinking. That is the only thing that will work. If you do it, you will eventually think you can control it which is just your brain tricking you to start drinking and the cycle will repeat rapidly.

lorenzomichael · Answer

well if you know what you do and you don’t like it, stop doing it. Get some real friends. I’m happily. married with adult kids. However, I love getting fucked up. I just don’t do it all the time because I have responsibilities. But everything in moderation. Get yourself a job just not at a liquor store or a bar. Good luck.

nawtee_me · Answer

Well it will take a little time to change because what is normal for you to do now is abnormal for most people and probably even you when you were younger. You need to create a new normal for you. That takes time. Your body will reject the idea of change. Are you up for the challenge? I think you can do it, I believe in you….

noohair · Answer

You will ruin your life. If you have mental health problems, that is not an excuse. Seek help with those problems first and get your act together. You parents will not be around someday do fix it for you.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Ok, start with a good therapist and get a referral for a psychiatrist. The therapist will provide talk therapy and the psychiatrist will prescribe and monitor medication.

You need to know what you are fighting and you need professional allies.

Sharkstealth · Answer

Alcohol and sugar are the worst things to put in your body when you work out. Both will slow results way down.

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

I don't know but you should find that solution quick before you reach alcoholism

DishLady · Answer

Stop drinking. Join AA.

DrPepper12 · Answer

HALT. You have to avoid HALT Hungry Angry Lonely Tired These are the main triggers to drink.

OtterMan68 · Answer

1) counseling 2) try to cut back by slowly drinking a tall glass of ice water between alcoholic drinks

Twalli · Answer

Get your dog certified as an emotional support dog, or get a dog that is one. They're designed to help and are pretty good at it.

In_Trance · Answer

You should be paying rent and all of your expenses.  It's time to get your shit together

Friendlybro79 · Answer

Therapy... And keep going... good luck.

ChinaGrove · Answer

Try switching to Kava.

NathanDavis · Answer

seek therapy

HelpfulWoman · Answer

therapy.

kwsmith2 · Answer

Naltrexone

jahaims · Answer

Go to therapy

impalabill77 · Answer

Quick drinking.

How do I stop getting black out drunk as a coping method (I always end up in terrible situations)?

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