Is it possible to get over your first long term relationship quickly or will you have lingering thoughts about it for a while?

[strawberrybaby3]

[Account]

I mentally got over it in no more than 2 days. But then again, I have the tendency to murder my feelings before the inevitable happens. That is not advisable though. But yes, it is very possible and people who have their defenses quite high can effortlessly manage that. It is not the healthiest way though.

[HawkPerception]

In all of my relationships, my exes were the ones that broke up with me. And it was easy for me to get over them... like pretty much immediately. Why would I want to be with someone that doesn't see the value of being with me as a person? I'd rather focus my energy on finding someone that does value me.

And sure you'll have thoughts about your past relationship. The moments and experiences you shared... that's normal. But it will be quickly overwritten by the experiences you have with your new partner. I can honestly barely remember what it was like being with my exes, nor do I care to remember. It does get lonely though and wish that you have SOMEONE that you can talk to about anything and be physically intimate with. But it doesn't make me want to get back with them.

[Purpleronnie]

It’s all relative to time and therefore emotional bonds in my opinion , my first relationship lasted for about a month and as I broke it off I was happy to be single again. One of my more serious relationships lasted 4 years and at the end I was relieved as it ended badly , not that it was all bad , but when it ended it was truly time. My last long term relationship was 6 years and at the end even though it was a mutual decision I was destroyed , I had to take time off work , I hid myself away and generally didn’t feel that I could face life any more. I told myself I would remain single and spare myself the agony I seemed to go through.


Now though I’m back in a relationship again and for 13 years so far and it’s still going strong.

[Altheavas]

It depends. Being over the person is the easy part, now detaching from memories you lived with that person whether they were happy or not, take time to fully let go and start a new. Even if you know there’s nothing in the world that would get you back to that relationship!

[OlderAndWiser]

It took me several years to stop having persistent thoughts about my first love. More than 50 years later, I still think of her on occasion, but I don't have a desire to be with her again.

[kylee2437]

I’d say it definitely depends. Many times people are in relationships they have already checked out of and they don’t need time, other times people need to heal

[DishLady]

Realistically, you'll have lingering thoughts... And eventually if there were any good points you'll probably remember those.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Well that depends entirely on you.
For me? Yes, because I take the view dating is purely a way to find the person I want to spend my life with. Therefore if something doesn't work out, I bear no hard feelings and move on.
Now, if you are someone who suffers from rejection issues, then it's a safe bet you will constantly swell on what went wrong.

[TommyMountainFigure]

swell? lolol dwell I mean! Doh!!

[RHK36]

Depends on how you are. Can you get over things quickly or do you overthink and take a while to move on. If you still are lingering for past ex then you're not done healing. Go distract yourself with self improvement. You won't have as much time to spend on yourself when you're in a relationship.

[MisterWack]

Lingering thoughts, though it is easier to focus on the things you have / good people around you that love u more than that piece of crap that came before.
Don’t focus on the past, simply forgive and continue on!

[avery58]

My last ex boyfriend still had lingering thoughts of his fat abusive ex girlfriend after 3 years apart, even though he claims that he's over her. He says it was a big part of his life since it was his first real and long term relationship.

[coxoabean]

You'll have thoughts about it for a while possibly. I definitely did. It took a lot of time, but the pain is good because it helps you truly learn to heal and grow

[Amandanator]

I think most people instinctively think their first relationship will also be their last meaning forever. So naturally it feels devastating for most people who feel those new emotions for the first time when the relationship ends.

[RebelinSteel]

You do think about it, however it’s best to get yourself organised and busy so you don’t over think it, or have time to think about your previous relationship.

[nolabels]

It took me forever to get over her and I was the one who broke it off between us.
35 years later, my heart still pitty-pats when I think of her.

Yep, I'm an emotional guy.

[false_prophet]

I had a mutual break up with the love of my life, emily. It’s been 6 years. I’ve dated other women. Still think about her once a week.


Not exactly the same thing, I’d bet. Depends on your feelings. Now I’m in mine 😒

[NathanDavis]

I never had an issue with it...

but also had no rush for it

did help a lot that we came to the same conclusion in mutual terms... no fighting, no drama, no hating...

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

Unless you have a very busy life, yes.. you'll have lingering thoughts for awhile. But that's okay.. you will move on eventually. Life goes on. ❤️

[sawno]

My love doesn't fade if its real. Still love her deeply, but at the same time I made space for someone new to come in to my life since I had to move on.

[Jbear27]

After 20 years with someone, 16 years of marriage and 2 kids… it took about 9 months to get over it and move on.

[PeachyPie93]

Depends on if you still love the person when you break up and if the relationship was any good.

[Ms_Facesitter]

Depends on you, we're all different. For me it didn't take long. I'll think about it every now and then. Not that I miss it, it's just a memory.

[TaureanBull81]

It depends on how the relationship ended. Was it a mutual split... if so it's easy to move on. The tough and nasty breakups tend to take a bit longer to move on however you eventually do.

[Nikki1989]

It is possible to get over ANY relationship. Life is all about change.

[bowenw]

It will probably take a while. I still think about mine occasionally even though it was decades ago.

[Lokiion]

Depends on the person for most people it will take a while but for some it might not take 30 minutes

[DrPepper12]

I only have the fondest memories and i still haven't gotten over her.

[Bklynbadboy12]

For some people it is and for other not so much. It's just depends on the person some heal faster than others

[Con29]

Depends on how close you are and how you left it with them as a bad break up or good break up?

[luvstoned4him]

Not easy but you will get there

[Danny_dan92]

Time heals all wounds

[ChinaGrove]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1FRrZD2y9Y

I've been bucked off of my share of horses, but you need to get back in the saddle..

[RedInnocent69]

Maybe for the rest of your life, even.

[OhLongJohnsoning]

You'll always remember your first

[Luckycharms12]

Takes quite a while for me

[Pterodon]

Depends on how deep the feelings are

[moneymagnet24]

Yes I get over very fast with in few hours...

[MasterKS]

i am always easy with move on!