Moving on after a long term relationship?

[charlie_moeller]

I've come out of a very long term relationship (15 years and met at high school) We broke up about 1.5 years ago and are both in new relationships. My new girlfriend is amazing but I'm still floating between trauma of my ex partner. Things she did to me, ways I treated her and overall trying to exist in this new world.

For the most part I'm ok and I don't project anything on to my current partner or my friends but deep down I feel pain walking the same streets with my ex, reliving memories of the past and would like to know how I can find a way to let go?

[lightbulb27]

how much time gap between end/new beginning? Really need to take some time, suffer the loss and move on so those emotions are closed out.

Otherwise, they dangle...

writing and burning it is one approach.

talk to professionals as well...

[charlie_moeller]

I think about 4-5 months until I started the new relationship. I think in hindsight I was trying to out run grief.. Rather then confronting pain I tried to cushion it with doing things I felt were exciting at the time..

I found out yesterday she's getting married with some guy she's known for 3 months. I think that broke me down... The grief is delayed onset so now I'm in an awkward spot where I'm 1+ years deep into a new relationship, don't have a healthy space to process my emotions without making my new partner feel terrible and paranoid.

[lightbulb27]

This is a good sized emotional mess.
you want to talk, lmk. not possible to deal with in text and do it justice.
bottom line... you did well to do things you enjoyed, but you didn't do the "space" work to process what happeened and move on emotionally. So you are emotionally stuck. You now need to do that work, while in a relationship... and that's hard... she has to be supportive or it's going to hurt.
Your X... that means she's still screwed up. Doesn't mean she's healthy or in a healthy relationship. It probably means she's needy and filled the void, similar. She just knows how to get things done.
Don't ever wish for others suffering nor assume their life is perfect, it isn't. you can wish them the best and be thankful for what you learned and gained, once you get the value out of teh suffering.

[devilish-cutie]

well theraphy is always the best option but generally just try to be kind and patient with ysf, things take time to get over fully and dont judge ysf for that. You are processing it and learning from it.

[In_Trance]

therapy