Advice on moving on from 4 year relationship?

[Anonymous]

hey y’all, I posted on here before about a hard time in my life. in a span of three weeks in December, I’ve lost my ex partner of 4 years along with being dismissed from my radiology program that I worked so hard for in the last two years. my relationship with my ex wasn’t entirely his fault, and in my healing process, I took fault for what was mine. he was unsure about getting back together after the break up so I walked away to give myself the chance to heal and not be around as an option for him for whenever he was ready. I found another program to get into that I actually Into since the very beginning, since I walked away from my ex I felt great until today. When I walked away from my ex, he told me he would always love me and that I was a great girlfriend. It sounded completely contradictory, considering him always trying to leave me during the past I saw something small about him and it triggered me. I cried and felt sad like he moved on in his life and didn’t care that I have been gone. I know it’s a normal process of healing, but if any of you have any good advice to help me get through that be great

[Paris13]

He May Have been Honest in Wanting to Make it Seem Like "No Hard Feelings." I Believe him. Congrats on Another program. Phase One of a New Beginning. NC No with The Ex will Bring Better Feelings again that It was Not Meant to be. I am Just Now... Learning This Myself. Thanks for This. xxoo

[Asker]

What do you mean by he may have been honest in making it seem like no hard feelings?

[Paris13]

Just Being Polite and Civil and Like "No Hard Feelings..."xxoo

[melnc]

Surround yourself with friends, or help someone down the road. It will make feel better about yourself

[Oliverlogan263]

Okay sis, I feel your pain. Breaking up after such a long relationship is so hard, especially when you lost your program too. Sending you a big virtual hug!

First, don't be too hard on yourself for having an emotional reaction when you saw something about your ex. Our feelings aren't always logical and it's gonna take time to heal. Try to be gentle with yourself through this process.

Lean on your girlfriends for support. Have a movie night, go out for dinner and drinks, do face masks - whatever you need to vent and laugh together. Don't be afraid to cry on each other's shoulders too.

It also really helps to journal about how you're feeling each day. Write out all the reasons the relationship didn't work and why you want different things now. Look back on that when you start missing him.

Keep busy with other activities you enjoy too, whether it's the gym, yoga classes, crafting - anything to focus your energy elsewhere. And don't forget how strong and capable you are on your own.

You've got this sis, just take it one day at a time. We're all here for you whenever you need someone to listen. Stay positive - better days are ahead 🌸