I can’t stand my dads new girlfriend.. what should I do?

[Anonymous]

So my dad has recently started dating this new woman. I am 23 and live on my own, so it’s not a big deal. But I still am close with him and enjoy spending time with him. Whenever he meets someone new he ditches me instantly and acts as if he doesn’t even know I exist. My mom and him divorced about 13 years ago, and I am very close with my mom (more so than my dad). My dad remarried (a lady I loved at first, she unfortunately turned evil - she was so possessional she wouldn’t allow him to spend time with me) so they divorced. He’s had about 4 flings since her (as of 2016) and these women last 1-3 months at most, the last one he had was so obsessed and crazy she ended up moving directly across the road from my house owned by my boyfriend and I! That was the last draw for me. I told him I don’t want anything to do with these women until he’s serious, well he recently met another lady online whom I just met over Christmas and I did not like her AT ALL. She used to be a stripper, very hard looking, she didn’t speak a word to me the entire night or make an effort to even sit down and talk (I made several attempts). When my dad asked how I liked her (he thinks she’s the most amazing thing), I told him that I think he could do better and is selling himself short with her, and that she couldn’t have been less interested in meeting me. He instantly got rude and defensive and said that she’s the love of his life and they are so in love (it has been 5 weeks) and I have no right passing judgement like that, and it was me who made her uncomfortable because I was so “out going” and talkative with everyone but her. (WTF!) I told him that I hope it won’t affect our relationship again, as he sees this woman as something serious. We civically talked after that like we always do and that was it. I haven’t talked to him since. I actually just don’t want to deal with it in general, and I’m asking advice how to not let this get to me?

[Jurgen3110]

Honestly, she is the first one who's not obsessed about you being there (not being possessional over your dad in your company). Maybe she is just a bit awkward meeting you since you are from an previous relationship. Not that that is bad but it could be the reason why she is so cold towards you. Everybody reacts differently to an situation, she might just not be used to dealing with offspring. Also the relationship is fresh, give her some more time to settle down a bit. Maybe avoiding her for a few weeks and just showing her your bond with your dad will let her be more receptive of you being there with them. The human works in many different ways and none of them alike. That is what makes us, us.

[Asker]

Thank you for your reply, I really liked it

[r4ngeF]

Wow, tough spot there.
I've never been in this situation to be honest.
Actually, this is the first question I really struggle to find words..
I do hope he sees you for what you are, since through these words you seem to be a very kind, pleasant and tolerant human being...
Other than this, I can just recommend to let him be.
Sadly there are some people in life that dont know the value of others, but only when they are alone. (A friend in need is a friend indeed?)
So the same for your father.
Lets hope it'll change as soon as possible.
Have a great new year, dear.

[Hidden_P]

Sounds like your dad is very insecure.

I think your best option is to a. Steer clear and b. Tell him that. You aren’t comfortable with his constantly changing moods and likes and to contact you when he’s stopped acting like a teenager. He had a child in their 20s and you feel like the adult.

He needs to sort shit out.

[madgoat]

Hopefully each new woman is a learning experience for him and he'll settle for someone stable.
I would keep my distance from the current woman if she proves to be unsuitable and ask your dad for occasional one on one time with him at a neutral location.

[Red_Eternara]

I had something similar.
I was living with my dad (divorced from my mom) and he finally found a new girl. This was'nt new, he already found some really lovely girlfriend that I really liked before but the relations turned short, but the last one he got was the only and worst of all I could'nt take at all. I talked about him about this new crazy girl and at first he was pretty neutral, then became more defensive of her even tho she started yelling at me for no reasons.
My reaction was simple, i moved out to my grand-parents far away, I stilm have contact with my dad with texts and stuff, but the more far she is from me, the better I am.

[Demosiac]

Let your father go? You asked for an advice on how to not let this get to you.
If you want to keep your father but don't want this to affect you, stop being concern over him and just do you business, although might be annoying but that's the price.
If you want to keep your father but want this to affect you, do want you're currently doing.
If you don't want to keep your father that's a great option too.

[Chaz269]

Butt out. It's his love life. Your only say consists of axioms you might offer any friend, "As long as you're happy," and the like.
You have a bazillion things in common with your old man. His love life doesn't even need to be considered let alone talked about in order to have a fulfilling relationship with pops.

[Goochbreaker]

Directly across the road? Damn that is some literal nightmare shit girl I am so glad I'm not you HAHA in all seriousness though your dad is emotionally immature and he gives way more of a fuck about himself than his kids, that's the simple fact of it. Give him the cold shoulder and keep these crazies out of your life

[SocksRUs]

Your father is a dumb, horny, lonely and lovesick man, and there is nothing you can do for him, except be his daughter. He's going to get burned over and over again until he hopefully learns. Was he raised by a single mom?

[AyushMate]

Let him live his life. You live yours. Relationships are complicated things. It's better to keep distance for some time. Rest leave it on time. Time Will heal everything

[Caaarl]

Unfortunately this is not a problem with the women your Dad is dating. It's actually just your Dad that's the problem. I don't know there's nothing really you can do he's an adult and will make his own choices. I'd just stay away from his loser gfs.

[HamidasThinker]

Now you are 23 try to work hard on your life and be the best..
Because he's on his Life track... Let your Dad decide what he wanna choose..

[ankitkumar70170]

If he likes his new girlfriend then u should starring hanging out with her now and then if u don't like her after that then u should find a girl who will be suitable for ur dad and be serious about him.

[PaulMarrow]

Seems like your father needs to grow up a bit. I'd just let him have his strippers and various other losers by himself.

[WalterRadio]

You might want to figure out why your dad only attracts crazy low class women.

[NerdInDenial]

Can you not spend let’s say a lunch or just have an hour each weekend to talk to him alone and just you two?

[ryancg]

Does he get a say in who you date? If not, then let him date who he wants.

[baby181036]

As I understand you live with your boyfriend, where is your dad staying？Let him stay with whom soever he wants to&the problem will be solved

[rayhere]

Live alone. If u can't afford to live alone. Then just bear with her.

[EnglishmanInMoscow]

Get photographic evidence of her blowing someone else

[karahiri]

ever see Problem Child?

... do what he did.

[hasrett]

You be an adult and let your dad live his life.

[unboblievable]

Cut the breaks to her car