How do I get my dad's girlfriend to leave?

[Anonymous]

I know what you're all thinking, I just don't like her because she's dating my dad and blahblahblah all that junk. But, that's not it at all. They started dating last year, and she moved in 3 months later with her four kids because she couldn't afford to stay at her old house. I was really nice to her and her kids and we got along pretty well. I didn't really like having all of these people living in my tiny house with my dad and my brother and I, but I felt bad so I dealt with it. But, she moved out like 4 months later because her and my dad would fight a lot. So she got a new apartment and they stopped dating but my dad would help her out as a friend and stuff. Then they started dating again and I knew she was using him for rides (she has a suspended license from a DUI and no car), money, etc. Then over the summer she broke up with my dad for another guy, faked her own pregnancy, planned to marry her ex boyfriend, and was still coming to my dad for help. So, by this point, I assumed she was crazy. She just lost her new apartment because she couldn't afford it. So, her and 3 of her kids (the oldest moved in with his dad) came to live with us again. My dad can barely afford the bills when she's here, and she doesn't give him any money. We just had a big fight with her and her ex-sister-in-law which involved the cops. Yeah, not good. So, I figured we were done with her. Instead, my dad ended up forgiving her, as usual, and she's still here. She's a bitch to my brother and I when my dad isn't around, and when he is home she'll just complain about me because I don't like her. I just want my dad to see that she's using him, I mean... I don't really feel like ending up homeless because my dad can't afford the bills when she and her family are here.

[meltyrain]

I totally feel you. My dad too is like that he even defended his girlfriend and all the financial stuff that was suppose to be in my education went to her hands. well I was thinking to let her leave the first thing i was suppose to do is grab her hair and throw her out with her things out but i know my dad won't let me do so. and I also confronted my dad that I don't like her and told him to let her leave but yeah that was a fail he defended her. One thing that I don't like about this girlfriend is that i understand my dad's lonely since mom died and his needs but she seems to be acting like a mother in our house. her head just gets bigger (not literal) like she owns all like she owns everything my father has. she gets easily jealous too especially when the topics on mom. She's even so plastic that I want to burn her. well I really sound like so bad out here because I really hate her. I hate that she's sleeping with my dad and mom's room hate that the cabinet is full of her things and hate how she does things that my mom do like giving me carrot sweets or asking me to sit share with her on the car's front sit hate why she's a lying bitch ok i need to stop complaining .. somehow i was so angry I cried but I also thought of evil stuff and can't deny that i hated my dad for it too. I know my dad won't listen to me too but for now if ever my dad would marry her I'd have another option I will leave the house after I graduate and live my life but I also need to contact him from time to time see how's he doing.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, that sounds like a really tough situation. I wish I could give you advice, but really the ball is in your dad's court. My sisters are a lot like your dad. They will let a man leech off of them, when they need to be saving money for their own children. You can try to tell them all day to throw their useless boyfriends to the curb, but they never will because they "love them." Give me a break is what I have to say. They have children, they need to put their kid' needs first. For heaven's sake, don't use your child support check on your worthless boyfriend, when you have children to feed. Sorry, just venting here. But, I'm sorry about your dad. He's just going to have to learn on his own not to be taken advantage of. Some people are leeches, & look for kind people to suck the blood out of (or in this case, money). As far as you, just try to ignore her, she doesn't have the right to start drama in your life. In my nephews case, he was having issues with my sister's loser boyfriend, so he moved in with my father, so he was in a stable environment. I don't know if your mother is in the picture, but I'd suggest talking to her.

[phil2]

yeah it seems like she is using your dad. She needs to like, grow up and learn to be responsible and that's not your dad's job. You should just like, tell your dad you think she is using you and for your dad to find someone new. Maybe you should help your dad out by suggesting him date someone you would consider is a better option for him, and isn't financially draining him! good luck.

[ImagineRelease]

Your dad tried to do the right thing, he feels obligated and in a way he may still have mixed feelings about how it ended. He needs another focus. Find something that you can get him involved with you in. Find reasons to need him. He wants to help as that gives him some sense of validity and could be his love language. There's other thing that i could think of if i knew more, you can message me. Just decide how much you want her gone and what it's worth. If he's a super great guy then the toxic woman needs to move on and stay gone.

[kreuz]

This is a tough situation. Try to go out with your father and have some time together and explain calmly to him how you feel about all this. The decision is up to him but you have done your bit and I think he will take notice of what you say.

[Anonymous]

She sounds like a bitch that needs to get a job, but I'm afraid that they're adults and you can't really make them do anything.

However, you can let your dad know about how you feel about her, and that you think he's a doormat for letting her walk all over him.

Once he knows that he's a disappointment to his own daughter, maybe he'll change his mind.