My girlfriend says she doesn't love me and we have a baby!?

[nb-sandoval]

I have been dating this girl for about 4 years now and just last year we had a baby girl. Now my little girl is the light of my life and I love her mom very dearly, but a few weeks ago she told me that she doesn't love me anymore and wanted to move away to start her life. Well this upset me pretty badly and she said she was moving in with her guy friend who she recently met again after so many years away from each other, and she told me that he was her first love. Now I couldn't help but be a little mad and the only thing I could think of was my little girl and what would happen to her. After about an hour of talking to her I told her that if she moved away, I would take my daughter and care for her. (I have a steady job and it pays pretty well) And after I told her that, she was upset but understood that she wouldn't have a job and I was able to care for my daughter just as well. But as we were getting ready to go our separate ways, she broke down and said she couldn't leave our daughter and said she would try to love me again if she could stay with our daughter. Its been a few weeks since that incident and my girlfriend says she loves me but I know it is forced and she still talks to her guy friend while I am at work. I don't know whether to continue the relationship for our daughter's sake or just let her mom go with her friend while I care for our daughter. I feel that after so many years of me being there for her and my little girl that she is just throwing it in my face to be with her friend and leave me. I love my daughter more than life itself and all I want is the best for her. Does anyone have any advice on what I should do?

[sexwiseman]

if you're not careful, your wife will leave you, demand alimony, and pretty soon you will be supporting her along with her new bf. Before you do anything, best to learn about the laws, and how they benefit the mom because most courts will side with the mom. I volunteered for an organization that did work with parents that were fighting for custody and your scenario is way too common out there; luckily for you, your wife hasn't hit you with a false accusation of physical abuse, divorce, or that you ahve hurt the kids; be ready to 'hide' your assets in case you get hit with a divorce, because I can not stress enough how fairly soon, you will be working to maintain the lifestyle of your wife, and the bf; also, you need to learn how the laws will work against you in case you do get divorced because 99% of the times, the fathers get screwed!

[marlinsfan]

Was where she was planning to move far away from you? If not, maybe it would be best to let her go and just make sure your daughter is fully taken care of, which sounds like staying with you, and possibly some sort of split custody where she spends most of the time with you or allow her mother to visit whenever she wants, at least until she can financially support your daughter, and then split custody. As long as you are in close proximity, it shouldn't be too difficult...if she wants to move far away though, that ends up being really messy. It happened to my uncle, so the best advice if that happens is get a good lawyer.

[sweetvalle03]

:(, this sounds like a bad situation and sadly there isn't much I can offer on it because in the end you are the parents and only you you can really decide what's best., The best thing I can say is that if you both are really gunna go your separate ways, please keep in contact with your daughter, my ex husband has our kids now because I don't have a steady pay check, well I do, but I don't make much and I have no car to see them but I make sure to call everyday to talk to them and to say good night. I know I miss them more than I care to think about, but they are my life and I don't know what I would do if they were gone forever, just give your ex what she wants, maybe she'll come back but if she really doesn't want to be there, she will leave regardless, kids ir o kids Sorry.

[Brittanys_Strawberry]

well damn first that's gotta hurt! and my advice for you is tell her to f*** off, and tell her that you don't wanna be with her if she doesn't love you, because why stay with her if she doesn't love you? from what I understand is that ur daughter is the only person keeping her there, well that is so not right and you should tell her that she needs to leave and that you will take great care of your daughter and love her and always put her first! YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THAT AND YOU KNOW IT! you don't have to listen to me if you don't want to, its ur choice I can't make you do anything, but do what you feel is right, and do what you think is best for your daughter!

Sincerely,

Strawberry

[Shlei3]

I am not an advocate of staying with each other for the sake of the kids. What happens over time is that tension builds and fights occur. Not only that but one or both parents will seek affection elsewhere which in turn will cause the kids to have a skewed view on what love is. You cannot force yourself to be in a situtation that isn't ideal for you. Ideally I think joint custody and being civil to one another is best.

[MisterMan]

There's no way I would stay with her if she told me she didn't love me anymore and wanted to be with her old fling. Just the stress that it would put on you, being concerned with if she's talking to him during the day, or what's going on behind your back isn't worth it. I don't believe in staying together just for your daughter, you're not married so you don't have to worry about alimony or the like.

Your daughter shouldn't suffer, but it sounds like she would be better off with you two split. If your girlfriend truly wants to remain in your daughters life then she need not move away. I agree that joint custody is best for your daughter. Do what's best for your daughter and yourself, let the girlfriend go and be the best Father you can.

[xX-Fall3N-StaR-Xx]

This kind of girls deserve the title "b***h". How can a mother be like this, she has no heart! I guess you guys are still young, perhaps that's why she don't realize what she's doing. I mean she got a child with you and now she just wanna leave and go to another bastard. As for you, you are a perfect dad and lover, you are doing everything right. If she don't want to live with you I don't know what you can do. Its useless to live with her under fake love. Lets hope that she will change and realise what's the real meaning of life. Good luck

[Lily1]

You sound like a GREAT person. You are a wonderful dad and you have put your daughter first. She sounds like she likes this other guy but is still trying to make an effort. This realtionship can not work if you do not trust her and she is going behind your back to call this other guy. Please remember that you deserve the BEST and you do not deserve her to treat you that way.

Your in my prayers:)

[youandme3]

Mine too.