If you tell them that you had problems with this person and they even did shady things to you in the past, they just see it as a problem between you and the person which doesn't involve them. Do you think it would be wrong to feel offended by this?
It sucks , and something you can choose to deal with? or choose to walk away from? I experienced this with Girls’ plenty of times , that chose their friends over choosing me , but they wanted me to choose them , over my friends, Double standards do not work in relationships period , Shit like this , is what causes a lot of relationships to fail , because it’s a selfish quality most people have within themselves. Why it’s important not to get into a relationship with someone, that doesn’t consider you their best friend , the same way you consider them your best friend You and your partner should be each others’ top priority over everyone else in this world period. What you don’t want your partner doing to you? needs to be the same exact boundaries for you as well, Not the other way around. , if your partner chooses their friends over you and you don’t choose your friends over your partner? That’s your answer to have a sit down talk with your partner , and express your feelings of concern to them , about their so called friendship with this person , that you don’t like for whatever reason , if your partner doesn’t agree with you and understand why you don’t like their friend? , and they get defensive and call you jealous or insecure , and acts like you are crazy and being out of line? You have a choice? You can choose to stay by your partner and accept their friendship to this person or you can say see ya, it was nice knowing you. You aren’t the person for me , and walk away. If your partner truly loves you , they will distance their friendship with this person out of respect for your relationship together, if they don’t distance their friendship and choose them over you? Walk away and find yourself someone that doesn’t choose friends over choosing you, that wants the same things that you do in a relationship. Never be a convenience to anyone , if your partner is not choosing you the same way you choose them , End the relationship and realize you deserve better than that shit. I have dumped girls’ for having this selfish mindset when it came down to my friends and her friends. If any of my friends ‘ talked shit on my girlfriend or put her down to me , my friendship with them was pretty much over. I would distance myself from that friend out of respect for my relationship to her , sadly she couldn’t do the same for me. When it came down to some of her friends that I didn’t like , she chose them over me and that was my answer to walk away.
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I don't have to like all her friends and she doesn't have to like all of mine.
I can put up with certain people. But if I really hate them, I simply won't be around them. That doesn't mean that she can't still be friends with them. And she'll probably wise up to their true nature sooner or later. That has happened before.
But I wouldn't forbid her from being friends with them. I wouldn't make a big thing out of it. In the end, she'll choose me over any toxic, dumb-ass friend.
I don't worry about her being "influenced" by them. She's not stupid and I know her character.
I have a couple friends from back in the day that my wife can't stand. And, yeah, I know they are dumb-asses. But I still talk to them on the phone from time to time.
Some of your partner's friends will never be friends with you. This is nothing to despair over, unless that person is a sociopath or a criminal. Then you have a reason to break up with your SO. Something is wrong with the both of them.
But dislike? Everyone has different tastes! You could certainly ask your partner why they're friends with Joe Blow. Maybe their explanation clarifies the reason. But maybe that's never going to be good enough for you.
It doesn't have to be. They were friends before you came along and there's something they give to each other. No explaining that Je ne se quois.
Think of it like this, there's friends of yours your partner won't cotton to, either. There is no requirement on either person's part that either of you has to like everything about the other. Friends, family members, game shows, tastes in shoes.
Roll your eyes and make yourself scarce. You only have to tolerate Mr. Wrong during big parties or once or twice a month during man-cave visits or football/baseball/basketball/tennis finals.
Offer the pair or card gamers snacks, and drinks, then head to the shopping mall or a movie in the other room, or unfinished chores. Your partner will have had some fun and will be recharged. Live and let live!
I’d feel offended if he doesn’t consider my feelings especially if the falling out between me and his friend was something you can’t just brush off. The least he can do is listen and understand my pov. The person might do it again and even go in between my man and me. Then that’s on him coz I warned him.
Artificial Intelligence
Navigating the waters of your partner being buddies with someone you can’t stand is like trying to sip a cocktail during a rollercoaster ride—messy and likely to leave you feeling queasy. If your better half is hanging out with a person who’s treated you like yesterday’s news, it's natural to feel a mixture of confusion and hurt. Relationships are about teamwork, understanding, and empathy. It’s not about taking sides, but it’s essential to feel supported. Your feelings are valid, lovebird. Rather than boxing up those emotions, turn this into a heart-to-heart chat with your partner. Express how this situation makes you feel without demanding an ultimatum. It’s all about balance, empathy, and possibly, finding a middle ground where everyone feels respected. Remember, the goal is to strengthen your bond, not to win an argument. Keep it flirty, keep it light, but most importantly, keep it honest!
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My boyfriend and I were in this situation when we first started dating. We had a mutual friend that started to mistreat me so I ended the friendship with him. My boyfriend witnessed a lot of it and did try to get the other guy to tone down. A month into us dating my boyfriend ended the friendship with the other guy because he didn’t feel right staying friends with someone who treated me badly and we both blocked him. I didn’t have to ask my boyfriend to do it, he just did it and they were friends for almost 10 years.
My SO has some friends I don't like, and I have some friends she doesn't like. We accept each other.
That's very problematic
There’s always going to be that one friend your SO has who you just don’t like (and probably the feeling is mutual). Just try to consider the one point you have in common — the person you both care for — and do your best to behave for the sake of that common pint of interest.
Friends are just friends. They have a certain distance from the depth and intimacy of a my marriage. While they are important to me I also recognize that I won’t like everybody my wife is gal-pals with and Vice versa. So long as it is only a mild dislike and that person isn’t importing drama or trying to sabotage or undermine our relationship then I don’t need to like her.
I wouldn't break up , but I'd be extremely hesitant , and it would very much be " watch this space " as my partner is showing very poor judgement , especially with me because if I know they are shady , believe me they are probably a criminal.
Honestly, I've been in that situation before where my ex's friend always talked shit about me behind my back and I wondered why my ex was okay tolerating it. There's another scenario where that same ex also didn't like one of my friends. It's not a pleasant situation either way, but I don't think I'd ever break up with them over it. But my ex was seriously influenced by all her friends shit talking and it reflected in the relationship until she broke up with me.
After thinking about it I would avoid that relationship I'd be worried about the person who I don't like it if they don't like me trying to manipulate my partner against me and I just don't want to put up with that
If I had a girlfriend, who was friends with a Male friend, who used to do some hurtful things to me, yes I would break up with her. Am I in the wrong for breaking up with her, well, not so sure?
There are plenty of fish in the sea. Find someone who likes what you like and that understands you. If they cared about you, they'd make the change. If they don't, there's your answer! Opposite attract but great relationships are with someone you have a connection with through many aspects.
I put up with this in college. Her friend was a douche and obviously wanted to get in her pants. She said I was crazy and she never would anyway. As far as I know for this short-term relationship she was honest.
If she made friends with them AFTER I told her I didn't like them, then it would be a problem.
I am very loving and accepting guy. If I don't like someone, there's a reason.It’s none of my business. As long as they keep their peace, I’ll keep mine. It’s not we are obligated to spend time together.
That’s a deal breaker for me if you are friends with someone who’s done me wrong get the fuck out of my sight and don’t come back
I would tell them I’d like them to cut contact if that’s a female friend who is trying to get with him or a male friend who pressures him to do drugs and party.
Dont fck with the opps. Fck with them and we won't fck with eachother no more
I would feel betrayed but I wouldn't breakup. Since I had something similar happen.
This did happen. It eventually hit the fan as I expected it would. They embarrassed themselves.
It sucks, but that's life. Of course, there's nothing wrong about it, because I'm sure I have a few friends that my SO doesn't like either, with that knowledge in mind, I don't mind that my SO is friends with someone I don't like.
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