How would you feel if your partner flirted with someone else right in front of your eyes?

Question

I was just recalling the last Pool Party I attended for my cousin’s birthday, about a year ago and I remembered that day two men acted the way, I think was not nice to their partners.

1) One of them was the sport racer I dated briefly 5 years ago, he’s already married, he was taking me photos, saying he could be my personal photograph and he also taught me shooting, while his wife was just there watching us.

I totally saw that guy as a friend, but knowing that he used to have feelings for me in the past, made me feel bad that he was spending more time around me than around his new wife.

2) Exact same day, there was that guy who was the boss of my cousin’s new job and he was a millionaire. When he showed interest in me, I had zero interest, but my cousin asked me not to be rude to him and just talk to him friendly, because he obviously liked my company and they wanted him to spend a nice time at the party.

The thing is he was there with a girlfriend. Who I didn’t know was his girlfriend.

There was a huge hammock swing and he was pushing my swing whole evening and following me anywhere I went to.

I noticed a girl looking at us, but I wasn’t sure what she wanted, later on I figured out that was his fiancé actually.

*** I got weirded out. How could he push my swing and try to entertain me whole evening, when there was his fiancé right there!!!

As for both of them, I had zero interest. ZERO. I was just having a good time at birthday party.

Updates

8 mo

That guy later on, offered me a place at his company, as his advisor. I, didn’t like it and declined his offer.

Updates

8 mo

Later on, I befriended those girls, I wanted them to know I am not a threat to their relationships and I have more common with these girls than with those potential cheaters.

TheWolfLady87 · Accepted Answer

I remember years ago going to a cafe where all the biiiiggg local business owners go. I knew the owner for years & always stopped by on way to work for a coffee (soo good).

I dress & act respectfully. I'm intelligent, self confident, etc. Men & women respect me.

Anyway just laying the groundwork.

One day I went to the cafe and there's this gentleman talking with the owner. He is RICH. He's talking about going on multiple repeat cruises recently causally, as if he spent a few dollars to go to the local campsite rather than tens of thousands.

Beside him is a woman.
She is very attractive. Dressed quite high fashionably. More so than me who just has a dress skirt on, etc. But she's not bright. You can see that just in her expression.

He sees me and starts asking the owner questions about me in their language - which I've long since learnt hanging around the cafe - and it's questions if I'm single, etc. Then he is subtly flirtatious offering buy my drink & bite to eat, sitting near to chat, etc., etc.

Wasn't interested.

But that very attractive woman with him was his fiancé.

Thing is, like with many many wealthy men, she's married to him because she looks good. She's like a fashion accessory. A bragging right. Rich women do the same with their "toy boy" or younger attractive husbands.

They're not the spouse that the wealthy actually want

And that's why they're prone to flirting with what ARE desirable people - respectable women, decent men (self confident, assured, etc.) - to them and many others.

Tenderhearted · Accepted Answer

Respectfully, if you're married and or in a committed relationship and you are flirting with someone who is not your partner whether its right in front of them or behind their backs, its disrespectful to the partner and your relationship. Flirting is intentional and its seeking entertainment... why would you ever be intentional with flirtatiousness and seek entertainment from anyone other than your partner? You must not be fulfilled and you should ask yourself why, and discuss it with your partner. Or, you lack loyalty and consideration to and of another persons feelings other than your own. To answer the question, clearly I'm upset and newly single, you won't find me married to a man that would ever even think of doing that because I wouldn't begin to date a man that would think to do that. There are as we know, red flags, for those kind of men prior to dating them. Thank you for playing, you're all out of try's.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

At a pool party? I'm not interested in pool parties anyway, so the chances are low of that happening.

The reason I don't want to attend pool parties is because of the scientific publications I read about how swimming lowers testosterone levels: https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=swimming+decreases+testosterone+&btnG=

And to quote one study, "Levels of circulating testosterone fell in 19 of 20 swimmers in contrast to previous reports of exercise in the vertical position." When same intensity of exercise was done as normally heightens testosterone, except under water.

I think endogenous testosterone secretion is important to keep me strong, and fighting back against the atrazine in our water. Finally, to win against the chemicals in our water, I utilize self-hypnosis guided meditations:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/dG5cZzbKvW0

And if my partner flirts with another somewhere other than a pool party? I will ask them whether they are up to fucking that person. And if they are then i would feel that they're this person's partner, not my partner.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

The first scenario I don’t really see that as flirting. The second one, maybe. See the problem is most women take it as flirting when a man sparks up a conversation w a girl. He makes her laugh, they’re having a nice conversation then boom girlfriend/wife immediately thinks he’s flirting. When in reality, not all cases, but it does happen, the man is just talking w a girl who isn’t a complete bitch like some women. Maybe she’s funny, easy to get along w. Someone who’s just like one of the guys. A girl will take it as flirting if he opens the door for her. It’s like no matter what he’s doing something wrong. So because you perceive that as flirting he’s automatically wrong when he may not even be flirting at all.

AviatorTom · Answer

Nothing wrong with just flirting... that can be fun. I'd be upset if she di dmore than a flirt though.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Flirting is never harmless. I would tell my partner that she was released from all obligations to me, she was free to pursue whoever she wanted, and I would do the same.

Meropatrick · Answer

Its clear those guys were being just nice and friendly none of them did kiss u or do any clear sexual Thing. So I dont see what the problem even if they had feelings for u. From ur description. Plus they were just taking photos and pushing a hammock which is more childish stuff in my opinion. they werent touching ur body or dirty talking to u. Plus u dont need to befriend the girls because its seems like u r just sucking up to them. U dont owe them a shyt. They go and get better men that respects them. because now u just put yourself in A place where u confirmed their doubts. And u r acting now like a home wrecker trying to get closer to the home she wants to wreck by befriending the wives

msc545 · Answer

I would feel terrible if a woman si this to me, and also very angry. It would end the relationship.

Miristheiss · Answer

Flirting with others is a no-no and a blatant sign of disrespect to me and our commitment. It also shows she wants to still act single and advertise herself sexually to other men.

I wouldn't have continued dating anyone who chose to flirt with others while "committed" to me.

Finchie40 · Answer

They are clearly disrespectful guys that were trying to entertain you instead of their partner’s , Those girls should really reconsider staying with guys like that , I guarantee it’s not the first time those douche bags flirted just imagine what they would do if their partners weren’t around

Amirhhzadeh · Answer

I am kind of kinky so I actually like it! It feels so good when everyone desires your partner but she is only yours.

That being said though, it's a kink, definitely not for everyone. And even kinky people like me have limits and restrictions and what they're allowed to do, if it wasn't my kink, I would've genuinely felt very upset.

Reem12345reem · Answer

NOOOOO that's so rude I would dump him immediately and kick him in his nuts and then shave off his hair and I'll put my feet into his mouth so he can taste the bitternesssssssssss

jeffend888 · Answer

Doesn't matter if you had any kind of interest in them. It shows a complete lack of respect.

But again, respect is subconscious. 99.9999999% of men are not going to flirt with prime Mike Tyson's wife.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Pissed. And it’s good that you befriended the other girls.

Anonymous · Answer

I'd ask him if he want me to hire a hitman for him, smile and walk away. He can do as he please after that

FinalFantasyBro · Answer

No I wouldn't be down if my partner was flirting with another man right in my face and will end those two conversations.

Yannishka · Answer

I would not be happy and I would have to wonder why. And I'll ask him.

SolitarySolace · Answer

I'd break up with them and give no second chances because they know what they did and I would not stand for it.

Cb142 · Answer

well to me that would just show her true colors and tell me to find someone else that cares for me

jahaims · Answer

That's called cheating. It would result in a divorce.

Sparkie460 · Answer

That's a shitty thing to do but she would be trying to make me jealous

Staximus · Answer

I'd say "you can stay with them" and leave

LiamJHayden · Answer

I'd feel instantly single. Because I would be.

exitseven · Answer

I would be jealous and angry.

How would you feel if your partner flirted with someone else right in front of your eyes?

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