Do you ever worry that your partner is going to meet someone else and cheat on you?

[Finchie40]

We can be loving , trusting , faithful and loyal to our partners , Go through good times and bad , but you know in yourself you wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize your relationship with them , but can you honestly say the same to them? My ex started a new job and in the beginning things were great between us , I never felt insecure and trusted her with all my heart , until a con worker of hers was flirting with her and making her feel desired , he was only thinking with his dick , but she got so drawn to his attempts that she ended up allowing him to fuck her , I busted her and that was my final straw to file divorce , After that happened to me , my life changed completely, I lack trust in people and it’s hard for me to really give my heart to someone , Anyone else feel this way? How can you honestly be happy with someone if you can’t really trust? I am with a girl now that shows so many signs of not being trust worthy but I stand by her cuz I haven’t busted her yet so I question myself if it’s just my insecurities or am I just being played a fool?

[lightbulb27]

"con" worker... freudian slip?
"last straw" - were the ones before that substantial?

I find your story intreaging, disconcerting and a warning to heed for anyone. Without knowing the "guts" of the relationship and the other person, it's hard to add much content... that be for a professional that knows the inner workings.

"lack trust" - of course, you gave your heart and trusted and that trust was violated. Without understanding how and why this happened, why trust again? Once you understand better, then you can trust again... that's my thought. There are videos that talk about why people cheat (or fall prey) and I find it helpful to gain perspective. We are all screwed up, some worse than others and you have to accept the frailty, emotional wounds, certainly in those who are hormonally variant, moody, lack self worth and strong values, who seek validation from others, etc.. There's a lack of "inner strength" in some people which equals risk. I guess there's a reason muslims cover their women head to toe (some) and Jews hide the women. This idea of women working next to all sorts of men... has flaws. I've seen very weak minded females around, and equally weak males... including in church.

My wife discovered the risks of working near others and it was the straw that ruined her prior marriage. A guy went for her and she deflected, but damage was done. Doesn't take much when there's existing strains.

I cheated with a married woman when I was younger, not all the way, but enough tobe guilty as hell... man I regret that. I had my selfish reason. She went after me and I fell into her lure because I was a desperate relationally failed person that should have been in therapy or church. It isn't just women... it's screwed up people with broken values, morals, desperate. I knew better and so did she. regrets

New girl: it could be your projections onto her or they are for real. If you didn't gain lessons from the prior, then I wonder if you trust your gut to avoid another of the same. This is the problem with the sub conscious mind... it's a broken record. Look for similar patterns. It be good to trust your gut and instincts or turn it over to God and hope for the lessons to be gentle.

Solutions: Her behavior and openness should support your prior wound... like her phones available anytime, open discussion about her day. If not, bad sign. For sure, this is a real issue for you emotionally and needs supported in the relationship.

[Twalli]

In my opinion you have to trust people before you can know for sure. I trust my girlfriend completely and she has never given me reason to doubt her. Yet I had to give ger trust before she earned it. The problem with not trusting people is that you are looking for ways to justify your distrust.
A girl says she wants her boyfriend's phone password so she can check his phone to know he isn't cheating on her. If she finds nothing she won't trust him, she'll just assume he is hiding it better. You have a similar problem, you've already chosen to not trust this girl, so you are expecting her to betray your trust.

[Finchie40]

That’s the problem I run into within myself , which I am hoping I can overcome this because I never had an issue with trust until my ex cheated on me , And then it continued after her with other girls I been with that cheated on their husbands with me that lied about being single , the second I found out these girls were married or already involved with someone , I ended the relationship which made my trust for
Girls even worse , I also worked as a bouncer at a bar that I experienced so many girls cheating on their men , every time I come on social media it is broadcasted that everyone is a cheater so it’s hard for me to relax knowing this shit is all around us , The thing is I can’t stop someone from cheating on me , that is their choice and something they have to live with , some people will lie
To their partners face that they been nothing but faithful when deep down they know they are a piece of shit , My thing is if you cheat on me then end the relationship with me , don’t come back like nothing happened , people that can do that are only kidding themselves about honestly loving someone , they are just wasting their time and their partners cuz they can’t admit
To themselves they are wrong , if you can’t admit to yourself that you are wrong, you will never be happy or
Content , your guilt will eat ya alive , I am no Saint whatso ever , I cheated in the past and to me itWas a learning
Experience of how selfish I was even though I got away with it , I couldn’t live with the fact that I did that to someone that sacrificed for me , so I told her
The truth and ended it with her and told her she deserves someone better , as much as she was devastated she thanked me for being honest and parted ways , I ran into that same girl a few years later and their were no harsh feelings but we knew we could never be together again. So I lose all respect for people that cheat and don’t tell their partners , to me they are the biggest scum on the Earth

[Twalli]

I think part of your problem is that you did cheat. You know what makes people want to cheat. You told your SO at the time which was the right thing to do. I think you see similar feelings leading to possibily cheating with your current girlfriend and think she may have already succumbed to temptation, but she may not have

[DizzyDesii]

I stopped worrying about being cheated on after my first boyfriend cheated on me. If someone cheats, so be it. Cut the chord and move on to the next and just hope they dont cheat like the last. But Maybe get closure as to why they cheated to see if you should work on yourself before entering another relationship

[Aqueeld]

Haaa that's how u should b ❤️❤️

[Finchie40]

I been cheated on and yes t is a horrible feeling but you move on , what actually hurts worse is the cheater that got away with it and lie to your face

[DizzyDesii]

I rather they lie than me catch em tbh

[Finchie40]

True but do you really want to spend your life with someone that couldn’t sacrifice for you like you do for them?

[DizzyDesii]

I dont sacrifice for any dude anymore. If we’re not already on the same page, i dont waste my time

[FictionalCharacter]

In my long distance relationship right now. I sorta do worry and I also adjust to the situation like it’s already happening. I tell myself that “I hope he is more happy with this girl. He deserves happiness. It’s no surprise to me of me being used and played. Who am I kidding? The mirror doesn’t lie.”

[Slingblade1126]

I've never been with a girl that didn't have trust issues and it drives me insane. I've always been faithful and never gave any reason for them not trusting me. Even their sisters, if they had one, or their friends would tell them that they need to relax. That they wouldn't ever think of me as being a cheater. Trust issues actually ruined two relationships I was in. Fortunately, the others weren't as bad. My wife was kinda bad in the beginning but is fine now. I do think actually committing to her by marriage helped. I've never had trust issues but I do admit, I get jealous at times.

[LavLavLuv]

I’ll congratulate him if he ever cheat on me

[Finchie40]

LOL why is that

[LavLavLuv]

Loser of the year award

[Finchie40]

Lmfao , so if he is a loser than why are you with him lol

[LavLavLuv]

If he cheats on me then he is a loser.

[Finchie40]

I totally agree all cheaters are losers , it’s a selfish decision and sadly most people are selfish and only really care about themselves , my ex that cheated on me is the biggest loser I know , she now realizes how pathetic she looks and faced Karma big time , I don’t hate her, I forgave her but I can’t forget , I still love her for the fact she is the mother of my children and for me to say I am perfect their is no way but I know in myself I deserve better and I can’t love her like I use to , she has tried to get me back so many times but I realize i would be a loser if I took her back , it has crossed my mind because the girls I have dated after her hasn’t been much better but the fact that my ex allowed another guy to have sex with her while we were married destroys me , I can’t let that go her actions damaged me and I am not the same person anymore , I have a wall up that is hard for me to take down. Trusting someone these days is not easy for me and it sucks big time , I don’t commit to be single , if I can’t
Control my own actions then I know I am not worthy of someone else’s and don’t deserve to be loved and valued because I am the piece of shit if I can cheat on someone , It’s easy for us to be selfish if you can’t remove selfishness for someone than you have no right being in a relationship and wasting someone’s time and yours is how I look at it , Something I have learned in life through my years , when I was younger yes i was selfish , admitting to myself I was wrong was a tough cookie to swallow , when someone finally realizes that they can set themselves free , Love only grows when we remove selfishness and sacrifice for each other , we won’t always get our way and we can’t force someone to love us , we can only give what we want to receive , if they choose to walk away , let them go and realize you are a beautiful person and you deserve someone that values you like you value them

[Agape93]

Nope

[Finchie40]

What helps you feel that way , Are you loyal as well

[Agape93]

I am indeed. But way I see it, if I'm with someone and I therefore trust them, I see no need to be irrational and project potential issues where none exist. If they lose my trust, I will leave them.

[Finchie40]

Have you ever been cheated on before?

[Agape93]

Yeap, he was a shit kicker anyways. Fuck em.