How would you feel about your photographer boyfriend taking lingerie / nude photos of female models?

[Anonymous]

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years with a 3 month split after 2.
He has a passion for photography & takes photos of anything. He does regular workshops to learn new skills & recently gone live with his website.
He recently went on a workshop where he took photos of a lingerie & nude model. He assures me it is nothing & that he has no desire for it to ever be anything. He says he doesn't fancy them & doesn't get a kick out it. He tells me I can trust him completely but at the moment he enjoys these shoots as they are laid back fun.
He recently joined an online site for models, photographers & MUA. He gets to see of pictures of models & is hoping to make a part time career.
my own insecurities about myself that I don't understand it or if there is anything in it. He has assured me so much it isn't anything to worry about, that he gets annoyed when I keep going on about it & asking. I guess I just feel why would he want to come home to me if he is spending time with beautiful models & especially in underwear or nude. I make a comment about him photography stunningly beautiful models & he stopped me in my tracks & asked why I don't ever think of myself stunning & beautiful. He always told me I'm the only one & I'm beautiful. He says he doesn't do it anymore because I don't listen & still insist on asking questions & going on about this subject.
I feel I may have concentrated too much on this & made it bigger than it was. my paranoid ways & I have made it something it never intended.
I am after opinions of others. I am very insecure person & I want to know if this is normal & if there isn't a need to worry?
He tells me that no matter how much he tells me it is nothing to worry about I don't listen. He gets annoyed now whenever I try asking about it because I've asked so many times already. I would never ask him not to I just want to opinions of other photographers partners.

Thank you K xx

[Anonymous]

You pretty much summed everything up and answered it all with one line...

"my own insecurities about myself"

The problem is all yours, it isn't his to bare.

Women compare themselves to other women constantly and assume men do it to.
We don't compare women to women. We simply don't.

He is likely looking at the beauty of the female the same way he looks at the beauty of a nice car or a beautiful scene. Women have stunning shapes and lines. They are very photogenic.

You need to work on understanding that we don't compare women, these women have no bearing on his interest or sexual attraction to you.

[Asker]

Thanks very much. This was a really helpful comment :)

[confused314]

You are being incredibly insecure, and that is incredibly unattractive. My ex would do the same thing, and it got to the point where I would lie to her, so I wouldn't have to deal with her 20 questions. Keep this up and you will drive him away.

He is a photographer, models are used a lot in photography, that is there job, and that is his job. Get in the way of that, and he will leave you. He obviously loves you, start to appreciate the things he tells you. Why would he want to be with a girl who thinks she is not good enough?

[Asker]

Thank you. Bery helpful comment :)

[electromagnetic]

Most photographer do what they do for their passion of arts. Not because they are interested in seeing girls naked. If he says this is what he enjoys, allow him to follow his dreams. Its not like he's touching these girls in ways that make the relationship troubling. Kind of like looking at porn. Unless you would be upset if he did, there isn't anything uncomfortable about the situation. If it helps, ask if you can attend some of those workshops. It'll work best if you see exactly why he is doing what he is doing. it'll give you piece of mind.

[Asker]

Thanks electromagnet. He has offered for me to go on shoots with him but I've always declined because I don't want to be the insecure girlfriend who has to follow him around x

[electromagnetic]

It's not insecurities. Its common interests. Try it out. You may actually enjoy it more than you think. & he'll be happy that you're showing the interest.

[SarahsSummer]

Way tl;dr. He's looking to get better at a field he loves. It just happens to involve models. I really think you should be supportive and not let your insecurities get in the way of a job or the relationship.

[ShaeNielson]

I don't see the problem at all, let him take all the tit pics he wants to.

[Bandit74]

Those models strip naked and pose provocatively for any man who pays them. With you your boyfriend has you all to himself, that sexual side of you is for his eyes only and in a way that could make you more attractive since your naked body can't be bought with money and isn't shared with the whole world.

[Bandit74]

that's interesting. Why would you find a model less attractive?

I think it cheapens their beauty to know 100s of men paid money to take HD pictures of her in various states of nudity while making sexually suggestive faces and poses.

There wouldn't be much that is intimate or special. Like every time I see her naked or in lingerie Id just have it in my mind that "100s of old creepy looking men just paid money to see her like this".

Plus I feel like they look sexier for the photigraphers. They have their hair and makeup done professionally, are dressed up as these super sexy fantasy characters, and are often photographed in exotic locations.

So just seeing the nirmal version of her in my room won't compare to the super sext version of her the photographers got to see.

The only appealing aspect of dating a model is that they are often really hot girl but if I had the opportunity to date an equally attractive girl who isn't a model Id choose the non model, no hesitation.

[Asker]

Thank you. Helpful comments :)

[Hot_Mess_Express]

My husband is a photographer. He mostly does product's, but he also shoots portraits from time to time. Through word of mouth he has gotten a lot of work shooting pregnancy photos. It's very popular for pregnant women to do nude photos or at least in their underwear.

It doesn't really bother me, I know that they aren't there for sex. Sure sometimes he comes home all turned on after, but that's just more for me haha.

Honestly he even shot nude photos of my sister when she was pregnant. Though to be fair they used to date before he met me.

[johnmsk]

I think you should put your trust and leave it to faith. or just get another guy.
saying this, but you do have reason to be concerned. Most of the hot model photographers i know end up with banging many girls or one of these girls.. or keep on fantasizing of them.
noe simple test though, after he started this photographing girls did his libido with u go down, or stayed same or is super horny when he comes home and want you? this maybe a test whether he is spraying his load elsewhere.

[Asker]

Thank you. To be honest it hadn't really affected our sexual relationship. It's healthy and has remained the same. ?

[allahu_snackbar]

I had a buddy who worked as a tog (as they're called in the industry) and he did the inevitable and banged one of the girls, his girlfriend was mortified but forgave him. lol

[robbiem]

well if its his profession it would not bother me... but if he is doing it strictly for fun I would be hurt

[Asker]

Hi Robbie. Thanks. He wants to earn money from photography and said this is to build his portfolio so he has a number of different styles.

?

[robbiem]

Well at least he is starting out... He probebly is doing porn photography then he get popular with other photographers and producer's he could change his image and get into image art or doing art on isle oil paint and stuff to that nature

[robbiem]

glad to hear

[MaxAsian9]

If it was my girlfriend taking pictures of male models, I would definitely get jealous, but as long as both talk it out, and the partner loves you as much, he/she will SHOW YOU that there's nothing to worry about

[joeb73]

its a job he is after not the girls and your insecurity's are jeopardising the relationship

[WalterRadio]

That is what they do. If you can't handle it, find another boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Heck could very well be the next Terry Richardson

If the roles were reversed... if I were a boyfriend to a girl that was taking pictures of nude guys I would be pretty pissed off about it.

[Bandit74]

True, that guy seems mad creepy.

Really? I wouldn't care if my girlfriend was a photographer. Id be more turned off if she were the on posing nude and having her picture taken.

[Asker]

@Bandit74 that's interesting. Why would you find a model less attractive?

[Walls_and_Doors]

Disinterested. The naked body is nothing.

[JennieF]

Fine with me.

[Anonymous]

If in private.