If your partner was a server/bartender, would you allow them to flirt with customers if it means they get more tips?

Question

I work at a restaurant and I work with a couple who have an agreement that they can flirt back with guests so they can get better tips.
And honestly, they’re smart lmao. I love that for them.

i wish my boo would get on board with me flirting to make more money but he would never 💀

I wouldn’t even feel comfortable asking, he’d get pissed tbh. Which is completely understandable.

Aerissa_Jade · Accepted Answer

I'd go for it, as long as it is friendly flirting... not the teasing and leading on kind where someone thinks they have a chance.

When I was a server there was a girl who went too far, she would promise guys dates and other things I won't name and get $100 dollar tips in cash left on her table but those guys would come in the next day or night angry and want their money back.

She acted all like, I never promised anything I only hinted at it... right. More than one guy had to have the police called on him until management let her go over it.

I'm good with friendly banter and friendly flirting as long as the customer understands nothing more will happen. I'm guilty of it but if someone asks me out or anything like that, I make it clear that isn't going to happen. Often guys would leave their number in case I changed my mind.

The way I look at things is we should be trusting each other and working together, especially since if I am that serious with someone we have a joint budget, me or him making more means we both make more.

SakuraBlossoms87 · Accepted Answer

ROFL. Most servers actually do not flirt with customers. Trust me.

My friend owns two restaurants - 80 seater & 120 seater - restaurants and none of his servers actively flirt with the customers. They are friendly, upbeat, etc and yes there are desperate or pathetic patrons who think that having a nice personality is actual flirting.

Not to mention in some restaurants depending on the management active flirting with patrons can actually get the servers fired. You're there to work, not score a fake date.

.

As for your question

Such conduct just means that your colleagues are not committed to each other.

They are using the excuse that they are flirting for better tips to make up for the fact that flirting with patrons makes them feel good because their actual relationship lacks.

Angelo75 · Accepted Answer

Well here's the catch.

You usually would be asking these things right off the bat with your soon-to-be-partner.
If you choose to allow him/her into your life and then later on you start telling him/her to change jobs, then it's on you!

It's like buying a gasoline car and then AFTER you buy it, you want the car to be an EV.

This is stuff that should be discussed "in advance".
Otherwise later it'll be unfair for both of u.
For you it'll be unfair cuz u have to "tolerate/accept" something you don't want.
But for him/her it'll be unfair cuz he/she was fine with the job before.

Just talk these things in advance, and if neither of u is prepared to change their point of view IN ADVANCE, just move on to another potential partner.

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

If they were a bartender or waitress... I don't think it is up to me what I allow them to do at work. As long as it does not go beyond work, it is not up to me to tell someone how to do their job.

But i have the right to date then or not based on who they conduct themselves in general.

AviatorTom · Answer

My SO was a server (until she quit), and I know she flirted with guys to get a bigger tip, in addition to providing excellent service, of course. It was fine with me... she always came home to me.

Anonymous · Answer

I said yes but I honestly am undecided. I work as a bartender and sometimes I do subtly flirt with old men who clearly have a lot of money because they tip the best. I can spot a customer with money instantly from years of working in this industry. Good service should be enough though which is why I’m undecided. It definitely does help to flirt to get a bigger tip sometimes but usually people with a lot of money are bigger tippers ANYWAY. You don’t really need to do anything except do your job right and be friendly, and usually going above and beyond consists more of how much you do for them without them having to ask than flirting is in my opinion. Flirting CAN help though. It really depends

mobiusforniner · Answer

I wouldn't "allow" anything. To "allow" means I put myself in some sort of authority over her. She's a god damn adult. She can make her own choices. If she's the kind of woman who doesn't feel committed to our relationship, then we wouldn't have a relationship.

Miristheiss · Answer

If I ever caught them flirting I'd just break up immediately.

I don't stay in relationships with people who are disloyal and who are disrespectful to me.

I wouldn't waist my time.

The fact that they think a few extra bucks for the short season they do this no where job means I have to let them disrespect me. They have shown everything about their values and their character. I'm done.

ilovelamp · Answer

That's going to turn out well. when they do inevitably get into a fight, have a drink at work then take home one of the customers they've been flirting with, who's agreed to buy him or her drinks.

Uenvy694u · Answer

I chose yes because tips are how she makes her money. Worst of all dont start 2 try 2 tell a woman what 2 do. That will only make her mad at u. Let her flirt and make the money. Remember u are the one she's comes home 2 every night.

Anonymous · Answer

no. they need to find a new job if they want more money...

TrueConfection · Answer

My husband and I are both flirtatious without really intending to be. We're just friendly people and people flirt. No worries here.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I don't think that is a good idea. What if the person is married and the next night the husband hears about it. It could become a 💩 show!

petitedollbabee · Answer

Sure, if there’s clear & honest communication about it, like they tell me how work was and what they did etc.

TooHot2Care · Answer

I go by a code of honor : you do your shit, I do my shit. Don’t let me see you doing your shit and if I see you doing your shit?  No dick, no tongue, no fingers , for one week.

exitseven · Answer

I used to date a bartender,, she used to flirt with guys all the time. I never gave it a second thought.

fonduegirl · Answer

Of course. Given that no touching and numbers are involved.  Mom says and I quote  we do a lot of things at work that we're not proud of

DizzyDesii · Answer

Nah i’d find it disrespectful. May as well date another pornstar in this case

Reem12345reem · Answer

it depends if it was like too sexual or if it he would be tuned on by just flirting with her

red324 · Answer

I've heard you shouldn't really visit your SO at work when they have these kinds of jobs. Bad for business

Reddy4it · Answer

I think…if both of you are on board with it…sure…bit also be aware your choices could reflect badly on your work performance and the company…

Surely · Answer

Never a good idea to date a bar tender and frequent the establishment that they work for if you are the jealous type!

Tomisworthless · Answer

I once worked at a restaurant too, I was a cook, could never be a waiter not attractive or social enough to make a living from that

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

No thanks, she can be my bartender at home and flirt with me as much as possible 😂😂

Luopio27 · Answer

Flirting with customers is leading them on. It is using them. So no.

hammeronfire · Answer

I’d be uncomfortable if I knew he/she/they were out there flirting with others.

AlexisDiani · Answer

“Allow them” ? How are you going to stop them?

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, I am not that insecure.

Anonymous · Answer

bib boobs and bending over the table is not flirting. That works well for tips.

BarryLiverstone · Answer

For sure. Make that $

TrillXHippy · Answer

The anger inside me would never allow it

LovrUFFAllls · Answer

I think they all like me, cause they always flirt

LazerBean · Answer

Probably.

gedake · Answer

maybe

If your partner was a server/bartender, would you allow them to flirt with customers if it means they get more tips?

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