*This is a hypothetical question, you can vote and explain your answers even if you are not in a relationship.*
*There is a ‘results/Not Applicable’ option for those in same sex relationships, feel free to comment your views on your partners having friends of the same sex.*
I’m personally okay with it, as long as the friend knows of me, and is respectful of me and my boyfriend. I trust my boyfriend.
I don’t mind if my partner has friends of the opposite sex, regardless of their sexual orientation.
I would prefer if my partner didn’t have friends of the opposite sex, but I’m okay if their friends are gay or bi.
I would prefer if my partner didn’t have friends of the opposite sex, but I’m okay if their friends are ONLY gay, not bi.
I would prefer if my partner didn’t have friends of the opposite sex at all, regardless of sexual orientation.
I would prefer if my partner had no friends at all.
Results/Not Applicable
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How do you feel about your partner being friends with someone of the opposite sex? Does them being gay/bi change your views?
I don't care who their friends with. Unless that friend tries to get in the way or hurts her. I would trust whom I am with and if they cheat their loss.
Also a bit of side note but also I don't think of them as cheating longs if it's with another girl. Just a personal thing but girls don't make me jealous only another guy would. It's kinda like "I kissed a girl just to try it, I hope my boyfriend don't mind it" I wouldn't, sounds fine by me. Obviously I still want to be the one she loves and spends most time with but if she's Bi and wants best of both of worlds I ain't gonna be bothered.
Then as for the no friends at all option, well that's difficult opinion to have since 99.99% people who will want that will be controlling and abusive. Though I want to say her having no friends and just spending time with me sounds blissful, just cuddle all day knowing there not gonna be like I need to go see my friend etc. When all I want to do is cuddle. Of course I would never expect them to have 0 friends nor control that because I ain't abusive. But just saying it wouldn't exactly be a bad thing if they just so happen to have a few or none really. Just means more quality time with me.
Where is crosses boundaries is her wanting to go to dinners alone with this man, her spending lots of alone time with him, her ever trying to travel with him alone, talking to him and texting him all day everyday.
Whether he is gay or straight it is a boundary to have a man so close to her everyday life and to have daily, close contact with her with lots of sharing of her heart and endless quality time with my girl.
I won't live a life with some man in my life always to close and personal with my girl.
I would have stopped pursuing her in the dating process. If she has a co-worker that she is casual "friends" with, that is fine. Don't expect to go do "lunch" together all the time and to be calling and texting all the time and hanging out outside of work. I'd have walked away.
My wife hangs out with her sisters. She may go out for dinner every now and then with female co-workers. That's about all she does. I don't have this issue to worry about in my life.
I wouldn’t care regardless of sexual orientation.. well ok maybe a little. I wouldn’t love the idea of say my boyfriend having mostly girl friends or best friend a girl even with a lot of trust but there’s nothing I can do, plus it wouldn’t be very hypocritical of me to say don’t do that since most of my friends are guys and best friend is also a guy.
But at the end of the day if you trust the guy, guys girls doesn’t matter. Just let him do as he pleases. Only thing I wouldn’t like if he drinks often with that female best friend or spends hours at her house late at night.. hmm
This is a very personal topic for anyone who reads the question. I am fine with my husband having friends of the opposite sex and he is certainly fine with me being friends with the opposite sex as well. We trust each other. We have not been burned by others in past relationships. It is also a wonderful feeling when these friends are overlapping, so to speak. It’s so nice to have a conversation with these such friends especially when they comment on what a kind significant other you have found.
all these scenarios were actually present in my relationships, and it was never a problem for me... how do I felt about it? well to me, it's just quite normal that people have friends, good friends... close friends, just like I have them as well... and their sexual orientation didn't make a difference to me, not a significant one
all of my ex-girlfriends had friends that were close and also longtime friends, some of them were men, both straight and gay... some were women and lesbian, and in the case of my ex-girlfriend that was bisexual herself, she had friends that were straight women... I never had an issue with it, and no issue happened whatsoever
my relationships were quite stable and solid, so simply put... there was no place for doubt or lack of trust, no need to get insecure or defensive about anything, I knew them well and I also knew their friends, besides... I found myself on the other side of the situation numerous times, most of my best and close friends are women, and a couple of them are my ex-girlfriends, so I know very well that there's nothing wrong happening and I know well nothing wrong would happen... so my ex-girlfriends trusted me as much as I trusted in them
lastly, I would always prefer and feel much better that my partner has good friends in her life, that's always a great sign in my opinion and also in my experience so far
I hope he is okay with it, cause past relationships he has tried to cut off my family and friends to isolate me and be controlling.
I have no issues with him being friends with other girls, or guys or whoever. In fact I try to make friends with his friends and hope he will with mine.
Thing is though, it is entirely possible that if they are friends with someone of the same sex, they could also be gay and cheat on you with them anyways... so what is the real option?
No friends at all, isn't really feasible to me as that was a controlling mechanism.
My option didn't apply. I would be okay with y partner having friends of the opposite sex (a woman having guy friends), but ideally, I would want them to only be straight and with partners of their own. Of course, I couldn't/wouldn't forbid them from having friends that broke this paradigm.
But honestly, I don't want to deal with any of the LGBTQ BS. Having to agree with their dumb viewpoints about kids transitioning and about teaching the GayBC's in school and all that crap I hate. I would much rather not deal with that and ideally hope that all of either of our friends were either straight, or if they WERE gay (and only "homosexual," not half-assed homo, aka "bi"), they would be logical gay and hate "The LGBT Community" as much as everyone else does. Note, I'm talking about "The LGBT Community," not gay people. There's a difference.
TLDR: I would prefer if she had friends of the opposite gender, they were only non-single, regardless of being straight or gay. Any single friends of the opposite gender who were single, would be a problem.
In any relationship there has to be trust in it. Do I trust my girlfriend not to cheat on me? Does my girlfriend trust me not to cheat on her? It’s always trust in any relationship. I don’t know why cheating is so popular nowadays. I do believe many people rush into a relationship because they have that need to be with someone and many people marry for the wrong reason. Ending up in divorce. Or cheating then divorce. Don’t get into a relationship by feelings alone because you feelings will betray you.
I wouldn't care. Look if my girl cheats then she is doing me a favor... She is revealing to me that she is a cheater and insincere; and a bunch of other things she reveals. "If you want to test someones character, give them power" THE POWER TO CHOOSE
There is no point in being jealous. If she cheats... great... if not... even greater. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Plus women do not like the trait of jealousy
@dayspring good outlook man. But myself and other guys have had more then one mishap in the past. It’s one if it’s a one time incident. But it happens more than once we do get bitter.
@globetrotter22 Understandable. I'd say that's a character problem. The couple obstructing themselves socially in an abnormal manner, reveal that they have weaknesses in character. Weaknesses in character lead to weaknesses in relationships. Fix the source of the problem, which is character. Rise to the solution instead of lowering the solution down to where one currently is.
@dayspring i used to think exactly the same way you do. I was more optimistic and idealistic.
But never underestimate female selfishness. They are able to not feel guilt about cheating since they make decisions based on emotions. If they feel no longer feel in love with you then principles often out the window. They are unable to separate likeability from respect.
Twice I’ve lost interest in former gfs and I had opportunities to cheat (very tempted) but I didn’t out of respect. But this respect was not reciprocated.
@KrakenAttackin we got to remember to commend and really appreciate the minority of good ones out there. The problem is they do run into challenges and at some point get burned by somebody. When that happens, how do they handle it? It’s all too easy for them to turn to woke BS. But we got to encourage them not to do that and also not make up any excuses for the asshole who burned them.
Right now society rewards bad female behavior. But maybe we could do a better job at commending and giving a shout out to the few decent women out there. Make that more appealing.
@globetrotter22 Interesting point. A good quality, feminine, kind, faithful, woman will have a world of high quality men lined up, ready to die for her.
I wish women would realize that their real source of power lies in their innate femininity and nurturing instincts.
I did experienced this once. 1 of my exes was friends with her male classmate while she was attending college. I trusted her that nothing was going to happen between her and I and this guy friend of hers.
About a few months later,... she cheated on me, she did confessed about cheating and now having special feelings for him, she broke up with me, went with this male friend of hers who is now her guy and just to add salt onto the would and to hit the nail into the coffin, she marries him.
Then recently I just discovered she divorced him, met and married someone else and has a child with this new guy.
I’m really sorry hear about that man. I swear some women (growing percentage of them) swing from guys like a monkey swings from trees.
The thing is we want to be cool, trusting and not show jealousy in these situations. We want to see the best in women. But the ugly truth is the truth. I bet you a hundred bucks your gut had a tinge about her “friendship” with him back then.
@McKellar im sorry man. A similar situation happened to me years ago. She never confessed that she cheated but she treated me like i was less than human after we broke up. Something serious came up and she literally told me “tough luck your an ex”. I trusted her 100% as well. I accepted the break up.
The truth is that selfishness is something that is hard coded into female dna. I believe this was necessary thousands of years ago for survival purposes. But women haven’t evolved out this crap. The only time they seemingly act selfless is when there is something in it for them (e. g. they are in love with the guy) Myself on the otherhand truly wanted what’s best for my ex. If it was a future without me then so be it because that is what true love is all about. It’s about wanting what’s best for someone else. I think most women don’t comprehend that in comparison to men.
@globetrotter22 Well said. A more direct way to say it is that women truly do not give a fuck about men. Women see men as replaceable, expendable, interchangeable, fundamentally disposable.
@KrakenAttackin there are still a small minority of good women out there but they are taken. A few guys do win the lotto occasionally. Still waiting for my turn.
Anyway I see this as a spectrum in good vs bad men and women. All through human history there has always been 10% of good men/women and 10% of bad men/women. Regardless of society and their environment their personalities are consistent for better or worse.
Then there is the large majority of the 80% who are impressionable to the environment. Modern feminism and our woke society is brainwashing these particular 80% of women to shirk their morals in exchange for indulging their impulses. They are told to “follow their heart” even if it means being a conceited POS.
Sadly this fucks up everything all the way around. Would be happily married men get bitter and jaded. Would be decent women get distrusted by formerly burned men. Women who decide to be selfish ultimately self sabotage themselves. They put their feel good impulses above long term happiness. They wind up miserable while making other men miserable.
All of this bullshit is because of radical feminism and their tightening influence on young people. We need to fight back (while appreciating decent women).
@globetrotter22 Very well said and correct. Women are followers by nature, which is why when the larger culture cherishes and idolises dumb twerking whores, women become dumb twerking whores en masse. Yes, there are good women left but they get snapped up in their early/mid 20's by good men. What is left is the cock carousel riders who party through their most valuable years, get tattoos, piercings, are borderline alcoholics, and take to Tik Thot to make videos about "where have all the good men gone".
Have you noticed all the 1 and 2 bedroom condos being built in cities these days (shit tins of them)? I asked a developer about this and he said they are being built specifically for "single women who just want to party and will probably never get married". Wow.
@KrakenAttackin whats the long term outlook for these women? They are going to menopause some day and find themselves childless and unmarried. They will no longer be attractive enough to get attention from 99% of the men out there. Then what?
I do think there is a small contingent of women out there who see what damage modern feminism is doing to men and how it encourages women to self sabotage themselves. We got to commend these women
Personally I want to settle down and start a family. But it’s literally impossible to find someone halfway decent.
@globetrotter22 I feel for you bruh. I'm divorced and have my kid. Now the pressure is off.
A big change in daring when you get older. As a younger man you keep looking for reasons to excuse a woman's behaviour and keep her. As an older man I constantly look for reasons to get rid of a woman.
@KrakenAttackin @globetrotter22 Trying to be as pure and as wholesome as possible for as long as possible in dating and relationships wasn't the best strategy when I was young apparently. Even the seemingly nice guys are only going to wait so long, just sayin, or maybe it's how someone else on here said it "some of us can also just have a run of a bad luck". 🤷♀️ Which one is it I don't know? Yeah, yeah I know blame it on the feminists of my generation. Here's the thing, I can do that till the cows come home, it still doesn't change anything for me now. However, anger and bitterness hasn't gotten me anywhere either, so now I've just quit worrying about it and I'll let fate take it's course whatever that may lead to. Be well gentleman!
@whirled_up_girl your right about anger and bitterness not accomplishing anything. But seriously dating has turned into a zero sum game. I have to keep my guard up at all times. There was even one past incident where I thought I was solely responsible for screwing up a good thing years ago. Really thought that girl was better than others.
Then I found a few months ago that she cheated on me. On one end it made me feel relief that failure wasn’t all my fault. On the other end it depressed that the living hell out of me that even she had gone corrupt. She started making new friends with the wrong crowd (far left feminists types) a few months before we broke up too. Her behavior was no coincidence.
What men are angry and jaded over is not specifically the lack of sex, intimacy, etc. Sure that’s very important. No what we are angry about is the DISrespect this society has for men and that is largely due to feminism. That’s the problem.
@globetrotter22 I know I do understand the anger and bitternesss over the disrespect. I guess sometimes I just feel like I am viewed with the same lenz as the feminists simply because I share the same sexual organs. Like some how being "female" has made me the enemy to some men even though I'm not a feminist and I don't hate men (even if I have felt that's at times I was screwed over by my past relationships with men) I don't view all men as the same. I have always been honorable and trustworthy in my relationships yet I still feel like there a men that will still just see me as another woman who can't be trusted simply because I'm "female" and an older one who's been single for a while at that. Whether this faluse view is the fault of feminists or not, there is nothing I can do to change that and it's frustrating that's all.
tbh i find it toxic/possessive if you have a problem with your partner being friends with the opposite sex. unless the other person/your partner is very clearly being flirty (and not in a friendly way) i believe that they have the right to be friends with whoever they want.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Depends on the following:
1. Were they long time PLATONIC friends before we started dating?
2. Is he straight and single vs. in a relationship/gay?
3. What league is he in? If he’s handsome and/or has game he could be a threat.
4. Are they REAL friends or is it obvious he likes her but she friéndzoned him.
5. Has she been completely transparent about how she talks/hangs out with him?
Truth is I don’t trust women who have lots of so called “guy friends”. I saw a meme about this and it’s true: a woman who doesn’t have guy friends will be crying on another girls shoulder when she’s upset with her boyfriend. A girl with lots of guy friends will be out getting dick….
I think it's a matter of common courtesy! I won't collectively look for any other "friends" of the opposite sex cuz I feel that there's ONLY 1 reason to spend a majority of ur time with someone of the opposite spectrum of genitalia... Do you human nature, one would be lying, to say physical attraction wasn't at all perceived and or taking into consideration while spending a significant amount of time with a "friend" of the opposite sex... The whole thing is people are just being perceivably unjust, with lying all the time... I mean when it comes to situations of that sort
My boyfriend is bi and has close friends of both genders, his best friend is a girl who he used to have a crush on but I dont have a problem with this, I love and trust my boyfriend, and I trust and have a lot of respect for his female best friend. Myself and this girl are somewhat friends but not that close, mostly because I'm just super antisocial, but also if it wasn't for her I would never have met my boyfriend and he is such a great part of my life that I'm really grateful to have.
As you probably know in married to another woman but she is bi. She has really close male friends and really close female friends and it doesn't bother me in the absolute slightest. I'm just glad she has friends she feels comfortable talking to (even if it is about me) and that she can go out and love her best life. I trust her explicitly.
I never minded. I also have friends of the opposite sex (about 50/50 guys and girls) as well as my wife. I neither wanted to be the type of boyfriend or husband that gets in the way of my SO's friends nor be with an SO who gets in the way of mine.
I'm always the type that wants to introduce my wife to new friends I make as well as meet new ones she makes. We tend to often work towards hanging with our mutual friends regularly in one giant group.
We trust each other so it isn't an issue. I have friends of both sexes, some of whom I've known all my life. So does he. I'm not giving up my platonic friendships just because I'm in a relationship or getting married, and I certainly don't expect him to either.
i have no problems with my boyfriend having friends of the opposite gender. it only becomes a problem if it is a close friendship such as having coffee, just themselves all alone together. I have no problem with my boyfriend hanging out in groups with both males and female friends. I can only tolerate distant male, female friendships.
My husband has always had tons of friends and a lot of women that want to be more than friends with him.
I trust him, but the grossness of some of those women does tend to be annoying at times. I'd rather he stick to just being friends with the guys so we can avoid the women who pour it on thick. Women can actually be pretty creepy too!
As for sexual orientation, I'd actually rather his friends were straight. That combination wasn't an option in the poll.
It depends on the friendship. For example a friend her boyfriend has a good friend but we all know that she has a crush on him and that's really uncomfortable. My ex has a lot of female friends, but everytime he would explain me every detail about that person and when they hang out etc and I didn't even ask in the first place, I was okay with the friendship but he would still always make sure that I don't misunderstood the friendship.
I'm not in a relationship but if I don't trust me boyfriend enough to be sure that he won't cheat on me and with a guy because I have gay friends who are friends with my gay friends and they constantly need to add "but I'm not gay" or stuff like that. Dude chill the guys you see in front of you are dating and are happy don't need to add that you aren't gay 🤦🏻♀️ But trust is the key
I don’t care who my partner is friends with, male or female. Straight people are just as likely to cheat as anyone of any other sexuality. Sexuality doesn’t determine your likely hood of cheating, it’s down to how scummy of a person you are.
If I had a girlfriend I wouldn't mind her having friends of the opposite sex as long as I can trust her and she would be able to trust me as well. I went to this partial program with this girl who went home every day with a different guy so I stay away from them kind of girls
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