My girlfriend says she doesn't feel the same way about me anymore?

[MrSmith]

Hi, I'll try to keep this LONG story short.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 years. We were high school sweethearts and have agreed to never feeling so strongly about anyone. After a year of dating we admitted to feeling love for each other and went on to have sex for the first time. We have always had a strong relationship and never doubted our love for one another. After she moved to college (25 min away from where I now live). We still saw each other quite frequently (3-4 days a week for 5-6 hours). A few months into college (a week ago) she told me that she was confused and worried about herself because she thinks she's starting to "like" her new guy friend from college (they hanged out A LOT because they don't have many other friends). I told her to take some time to think about how she feels she should handle the situation and if she's going to dedicate herself to me and me alone. 2 days ago her and I had a great weekend of fun and hanging out.I woke up the next day after our weekend and noticed she looked upset. I asked her what's wrong and she told me she had something to tell me and that it was bad. I asked what was wrong calmly and she responded to say "I don't think I feel the same way about you anymore.. I don't think I'm in love with you anymore" I asked her why.. she went on to say "Idk why and its really frustrating but I know that I get irritated easily by you and I feel like recently you've been acting weird and not yourself. I accepted what she said even thought it broke my heart in two. She had been very bipolar all her life which is how I explained to myself why she would seem so happy the night before and then wake up to tell me she doesn't love me anymore. We Both have taken each others virginity and have been in a very sexual but romantic relationship for the past 3 years (our first year was just getting to know each other). I'm very confused as to what I should do! I told her that day that we should take a break so she can figure out what she wants to do with us and our relationship, and some time to clear her thoughts. Its been 3 days now and I try to talk to her as least as I can. ( a few texts a day). She has been VERY kind to me and hasn't brought up the whole ordeal at all since. She said she cares about me more than anyone in the world and was frustrated with herself for not knowing exactly why she didn't think she loved me anymore. I don't know what to do, if I should wait for her and just keep doing what I'm doing, or tell her I want to give us another chance and see if it wasn't just me acting not myself that upset her, OR that she just wants to let go of me and find something new to give her attention in life. Please, help me get through the hardest time of my life so far. I love her and I know she cares about me enough to love me again. Please give me your wisdom! Thank you!

[stewj]

I hate to say this because it's not going to be what you want to hear but this happens all the time and it isn't going to get better on its own. Your girlfriend might not even realize it but I would guess this has a whole lot more to do with her entering college than you acting differently. If you look at the situation from her perspective, she has entered a whole new stage of life in a new place where she doesn't know very many people. In addition to that, she is still spending the majority of her free time with you. This is probably making it harder for her to meet people at school and get connected there. Eventually, anyone in this situation would begin to resent the person that they see as "holding them back." This does not mean that you have done anything wrong or that she feels differently about you. However, in a relationship like yours it would have been very difficult for her to bring up the fact that she needs a change. I would suspect that she had been thinking about it long before that and eventually just had to say something. I know that every situation is different and you should talk to her about it if you get the chance but my best advice would be to tell her that you think it is time to break up. It doesn't have to be forever and you might get back together at some point but you really have to take the step to act like it's permanent. Move on and maybe date other people and be prepared for her to do the same. Otherwise what usually ends up happening is you will just make a bad situation worse by holding on too tight. Random side note but if you do break up I would recommend picking up a hobby of some sort because you're going to have a lot of free time on your hands that will be much easier to bear if you have somewhere to be. It's going to be tough either way but it's part of life and it happens to almost everyone at one point or another and the better you handle things now the better your future will be! Good luck and if you work things out remember she needs to have a life other than just with you.