Told guy I wanna have over I have the place to myself he said he’d let me know?

[Anonymous]

My ex roommate who I hooked up with told me he wanted to continue, so I told him he could come over this past weekend or this week. This is what he said: not sure what my plan is for the week but will let you know. Is this him blowing me off? I just liked the message didn’t respond. I was thinking of mentioning that I’m leaving for a trip to Europe to see if that starts something but just don’t want to get in the way of the situation. Thoughts?

[BlkM84]

Could just be me, but it sounds like he’s not interested
If it were me, I would be making sure to find time to get over to your place as much as possible
Opportunities like that don’t come often so it’s his loss if he doesn’t go through with it
Best of luck though!

[Asker]

So leave it where it is, no more effort and see where it goes? Yeah it doesn’t sound super enthusiastic

[BlkM84]

Yeah, I would leave it as is

[Serkee]

It doesn't seem like he's blowing you off to me, he might just be a busy guy.

[Asker]

He’s not a very busy guy, he plays video games like all the time. But he told me he’d let me know. He does seem interested though.

[Asker]

Is there anything to do would you say? I invited him over super last minute last (it was a second attempt) and he said he couldn’t rn but I gave him no notice.

[Serkee]

I think it would be a good idea go give him some space for a while, then try again, with something more casual instead of a date. Try doing something with him that you already know he enjoys, like playing a game with him or something, or just hanging out in the same room while he plays a game. If he's anything like me, then he might always feel like he has to say and do the right thing at the right time, and going on a date could just seem like a stressful chore to him. Like a job interview. To a lot of guys, silent company goes a long way toward getting them to lower their guard and making them feel a lot less stressed around you. It makes dates a lot less awkward and draining for quiet guys too. It's easier to come out of your shell around someone who's simply around you a lot. Try to make him feel comfortable around you, so he doesn't always feel like he has to impress you, and to ease his insecurities.

I don't know what his personality is like of course, but that's what would work on me.

[Asker]

So I think just sex would be it, I don’t think we could date each other. When I first moved in he wanted to go for coffee but things happened shortly after. I think I’ll just maybe let him know my roommate is out of town and if nothing just let it be 2x of asking to hang out is a good limit.

[DishLady]

He's not enthusiastic. Don't throw yourself at the guy. Just bc you hooked up once doesn't mean you need to do it again -- or that he's worth your time.

[Asker]

So leave it where it is, no more effort and see where it is?

[DishLady]

Yeah. You've put yourself out there. No need to come off as desperate.

[Asker]

Yeah I’m gonna leave it

[spartan55]

Probably has a girlfriend.

[Asker]

Yeah maybe he does.

[Asker]

Is that what you get from it? I know he was starting to see someone around the time we hooked up it is totally possible. Is there anything to do do you think? Or just wait

[spartan55]

I wouldn't push it. Are you interested or do you just want to hook up again?

[Asker]

Just hooking up, maybe a bit interested but I don't know that would be up to him. I told him my roommate was gone this weekend. So if he doesn’t respond I think it’s time to block.

[spartan55]

Wow, no leeway with you.

[Asker]

I mean, I would but he had time to pursue me in my apartment it’s been about a month since he told me he wants us to continue, I think it’s fair? Don’t you?

[spartan55]

Yeah. I thought of something else. How was the sex?

[SotiCoto]

Good for you. Nobody cares.