Girls, Women, have you ever made the first move on a guy? If yes, what was the outcome?

[Anonymous]

This question is closed to the men, because they always encourage us to make the first move so I know what their answer is going to be. I’m interested in hearing the perspectives of women who’ve actually made the first move. I’ve done it a few times and my experience was that when I make the first move, I do just about everything. I ask him out, I plan the date, I pay for the date (not surprising since I asked him) etc. Essentially I do everything accept pay for him (we split the check, which is fine), then we end up in an undefined situationship where I pour my heart out to him and then ended up getting left so he could pursue other women he was more interested in. Whereas when guys ask ME out, it’s more even (example: I would like to take you out to dinner on Friday night. Does that work for you? You pick the place), and these guys tend to be a little more long lasting. I’ve noticed similar patterns with my friends when they do the asking out.

I had a discussion with a girlfriend about this.
My side: I’ll let him know I’m interested, but he can do the asking out.

Her side: fuck no. We’re 40, we don’t have time for that. I’ll ask them within the first conversation, that’s why I get more dates (but those guys eventually dump her after a month or two).

I’ve heard a few success stories, so I’m interested in seeing whether I’m right or if it’s really my friend who’s right (in which case I should change my own approach and definitely not follow hers). What are your opinions?

[Caroline91]

I’ve been married awhile but when I was dating, I NEVER asked a guy out on a first date or any date until we’d been dating a couple of months. BUT if I was interested in him, I would not hesitate to make the first move in the sense of making it clear to him that asking me out would get a definite Yes. One example: In a cute bikini at the beach…new guy I was introduced to earlier is with a group of guys I know. I walk over in front of him jump as high as I can, feet coming down in sand and leaving clear footprints. He looks surprised and says What are you doing? Me: Making an impression, as I walk away, looking over my shoulder and laughing. In about 5 minutes, he asked me out.

[Caroline91]

P. S. it lasted 2 years

[DishLady]

No, I've never had to, though my man constantly teases me that because I complimented him on something he did well and asked for advice that this was the "first move"... 🙄

[northerngal]

I have asked men out. I have no problem making the first move. Men are not mind readers so sometimes they might miss the signals so why not just take the bull by the horns and ask them first? My results? Well of course they have been mixed. Some say yes and the date reveals they where not the man for me sometimes they say yes and we have a great time sometimes they say no. There are hundreds of reasons for a man to say no. I take no offense. Now one thing I have noticed was the man seems to be always flattered. I would like to think that it made his day a bit better no matter what the outcome.

[MK1997]

@northerngal you're too old for it

[Caroline91]

@MK1997 That’s rude and uncalled for. Now don’t you get rude with me!

[Radiate143]

Great question! First move meaning initiating the number exchange or confessing you like them yes I have.

I got the guy this way 80% of the time and the relationships all endedup being horrible.

• Used
• Abused
• Betrayed
• Taken for granted
• Felt more like a mother than a partner.

Guys who want women to lead are not in their masculine and will leave you do the heavy lifting. Or, see you as desperate (it is actually) and will treat you like a toilet. DON'T DO IT.

[Anonymous]

I never really try. And im tired of being in this situationship and consistently thinking of just confessing first.

But yeah, i heard a lot from people, when women do their first move, most prolly it won't ended that well because it put us at vulnerable spotlight where the guy can accept at the same time having a fling outside. Cuz they say at the end of the day, men can't love women as women love them. So we sadly have to let them love us more, then only it works. But i dont know😭😭

I was looking at your answer space hoping more people could give their input as well. So that i can make a decision for my next step

[IslaTheWitch]

if I get to know him and I find him interesting, I have no problem with making the first and other steps... it is how I got married :D

[dustybiker2]

Every person I was ever with I had to reach out first to. Mainly because my groups of friends were all male and fluffed like peacock brothers from other mothers. If I hadn't I'd still be just as happy with horses.

[CindyRuns]

Absolutely...

The path to my marriage started with me asking my now husband to join me for coffee.

Been married a little over 10 years now

[Anonymous]

No, I don't have the courage to do it. But as a woman, I don't really have to anyway.