Girls, do you ever make the first move on guys?

[Lucretio]

This has probably been asked before, but i'm new on the site so wouldn't know for sure.
Men break their backs making the first move IRL or on dating apps, curious to know if women make the first move more often than not!

I try to!

I would NEVER!

Only if they're SUPER SUPER GORGEOUS ZOMG YES PLEASE I'M ON MY WAYYYY

[SystemOfTheMachine]

In my experience, very few do, the ones that do however, stand out to me. I like women that take initiative, so if a woman approaches me rather than requiring me to approach her. I'll probably chase her a bit because she'll hook me.

So many men complain that women don't make the first move, but I don't understand it. Many women have to hope that the right guy comes to them, they have to sift through all the men that approach them and hope they get something good. Men get to choose what we want and not waste time, we don't have to worry about a plethora of women jumping down our throats, as much as that sounds good, I can imagine it's exhausting at times for women to deal with men like that. There is also the other side of the coin, when a woman has very little men trying to romance her and the confines of societal norms tell her that she can't make a move, so she feels trapped. All men are encouraged to shoot your shot, so even if you miss a lot, you'll eventually hit the side of a barn, or if you're lucky, a bullseye. I know I'm speaking in generalizations, so bare with me, but this is the way I see it in my experience. Men need to stop whining and just make a move.

[Lucretio]

I'm fully on the same wavelength as you my dude. Some years ago, I broke out of my comfort zone in terms of approaching and it heavily HEAVILY paid off. But I do mental gymnastics before I approach, I was wondering how it was for girls too.

Your point about girls being restricted because it's expected the guy comes to them is a very good point! Thanks!

[yofuknutz]

Yeah but that's old school A lot of girls today will approach you

[SystemOfTheMachine]

That's true, but still in my experience, most women want to be approached. I like that it's changing though.

[yofuknutz]

I have one girl Came up to me and I was in a joking mood So I told her Yeah what you Want fucko, U got something? You want a piece of me Come get some " She stood there with jaw to the ground And I couldn't keep it any longer I started laughing I told her I'm just fucking with you So Me and her Wer laughing the entire night

[IHateBeingaMan]

your right we get to choose who we approach, but those approaches mean nothing unless the woman consents to it

[Birdlegs]

Believe it or not but I’ve actually never made the first move in my life every girl that I’ve “talked to” have approached me first even my ex girlfriend initiated us dating.

[Lucretio]

Damn, you a supermodel or something G?

[Birdlegs]

I don’t think so but I guess I got something going for me😂

[Lucretio]

👑KING 👑

[btbc92]

Plenty of women do. But most of us do so for friendships. There is no such thing as 'making the first move'. Your either interested in knowing a person or not. I am not approaching guys for dating. I don't know them. I believe in only dating friends and only friends who your already compatible with and whom also share a mutual interest. Not a stranger. Other than that, other than my personal opinion and experiences, I personally don't approach people I am uncertain about. Been burned enough by people I want or would like friendships with. But again, there are women who do. My friends have, some of my friends have before, don't do it now, and obviously, there are plenty of women who do. And if you're looking and doing research on this site, you will see there are thousands of questions and votes. There has to be a logical and rational reason for why I should. Besides, I rather observe and screen a person before making a concrete decision.

[Lucretio]

Perhaps I should have been more clear, I didn't mean to ask if girls in general ever did, I moreso wanted to know personal experiences of those who do and/or don't.

The doing so for friendship is a very interesting take I wasn't considering... Especially as, as you said, girls would often seek romantic interests in friends instead of strangers.

Thank you!

[btbc92]

No. You were very clear. What I am saying is that women who do usually do so because they find sexual interest. PERIOD. Meaning depending on their beliefs, and how they were taught, if they aren't lusting after you, chances of them wanting to approach or be approach is extremely slim. However, those of us with good intent, usualy just want to get to know you unless its for a causal date or just to gain experience. For somebody like me, I am not confortable using men for attention or just to say I just dated or had a date with a hot guy. There si a reason why many women are expected to approach men. Because it feeds both his and her ego. And it's mostly sexual. They tease yet shame you for taking a sexual interest too far or too soon. As yourself what are YOUR intentions? Because you tend to be who you attract. It depends on what kind of relationship you want, how serious you plan to take it, and why you need to invite or better yet, why should the other invite you into their lives? Women are picky for a reason. The kind of women your asking are those who would take advantage of you and that's it. If you don't want that, then you need to change and it has to be for yourself. Not for other people.

[Lucretio]

I... think you might be going a bit TOO HARD loal, i'm not wanting women to approach me if that's what you're thinking!

I do get what you mean but errr... just.. chill? xD

[btbc92]

Man. if you are assuming that about me, this is why your having a problem. This is just me. I am very chill. But I am a serious person. And you're asking about a serious matter. I'm not going hard. I'm being candid.

[btbc92]

Please do not assume about people. This is how you have problems. Where have I ever said that you want women to approach you? I'm educating you from a woman's perspective. You have to understand the general before you ask to understand the individual. Asking an individual what they do or think without understanding sociological ways of being such as culture or society can land you in big trouble with people. Especially with attraction.

[Lucretio]

Alright, I have misinterpreted your words, to that, I apologise.

I think because your responses are super stern, I'm getting the vibe of being taught by a teacher in a classroom as opposed to the personal experience angle I was looking for. I know that's not what you're going for, but it just felt like it read that way.

It really is no bother though!

[btbc92]

No. I'm an INFJ. We're like that. It's a personality we're born with. This is just me, especially when mature. My suggestion is work on self in what you are looking for. Women have a hard tim approching men, like some men because they don't always KNOW why they have to. Some after bad experiences (not including my own as I never had an intention of dating) stop doing so, as many of my friends dis, because of their poor dating experiences. I am not talking about just dating for process and elimination. I am talking about dealing with exes, which stems from making poor choices to begin with. That's why I had said, it is better for you to understand why and the intent of what YOU want because what you crave is what energy you're putting out. Just like you assumed I was being hard on you just to do so. I expect more of you? Sure. Because I BELIEVE in you and see the potential. I want you to at least go in the right direction and AVOID people who will ruin your life if not your future and personal happiness. I believe people naturally deserves happiness. But not at the expense of others.

[19magic]

I have a couple of times in an indirect way, both times in school but one one I talked to our years chatterboxes and by the next day guy in question asked me out. The second time I told my friend and she had his number and we texted him on my phone (me and him were already friends) and I basically said something like I really fancy you and think your really cool and by the next day he pulled me aside and asked me out so in a way yeah I did

[Lucretio]

Hmmm...

But have you like, physically come up with the first DIRECT move?

[19magic]

I would had I knew if the guy I liked in question liked me too, since when asking people out its the rejection that they fear, if I never did those two things I would have never ended up dating either of those two guys as I know they would have never asked me out otherwise

[Adele_26]

Depends on the situation. If I’m with a group of people and let’s say a guy and I end up having a cool conversation then yes I would make a move. If I’m at the mall and a guy I find attractive is in the same store as me and I can clearly sense a mutual attraction, then yes I will make an excuse to get closer to him and probably initiate conversation in some way or another. I usually observe body behavior and eye contact so I can make the decision. Usually though guys come up to me. When it comes to online dating, no because I am more of an in-person type because photos don’t really help and texting isn’t really a good way to connect.

[Jamie05rhs]

Interesting.

[ShesjustnotintoU]

I like to seize opportunity, so I often make the first move! I don’t find it scary or uncomfortable as some women do because the way I look at it men are people too and you don’t get a goal of your standing in the sidelines. It’s sometimes a bit of a challenge which plays into the excitement as well.

[Lucretio]

Love this energy 👑QUEEN👑

[heatherlou]

Very, very rarely.
Mostly because I'm not seeking anything.

Like... I'm happy to talk to a guy and see where it may go if he starts talking to me, but I'm not interested enough in meeting someone that I would go out of my way to make a move.

[Lucretio]

Rarely means that you've done it before :eyes:

Were you successful on attempts you've made?

[heatherlou]

I've done it when drunk, and after sex. And yes.

[Lucretio]

AFTER sex? Can't really consider it a first move, that's like move 33 xD

[heatherlou]

No I mean, I was looking for sex

[Lucretio]

ohh i get you

[flamiE]

Yes but not romantically. I’ve approached a few guys cause I liked their vibe or I thought we’re very alike and I’m still friends with some. I did end up talking to a few men I’ve approached but initially I didn’t start talking to them cause I liked them or anything lol
I’ve never approached a guy romantically.

[Lucretio]

Another commenter opened my eyes to the 'approaching with friendship' deal, it makes me understand the situation a lot better!

Hope you're matching them vibes though <(^_^)/

[flamiE]

Yeah I should’ve scrolled through the comments earlier lol

And I try 😊

[Alpha09]

I do. But if I feel like he is im going to let him. However if he hasn't seen me yet, seems shy or i just really want his number I'm gonna go introduce myself.

[Lucretio]

We like this energy, keep up these vibes! ^_^

[sheamatura]

I have before. Never turns out well. I put no just because I’m not making moves on anyone at the time, including females.

[Lucretio]

Willing to share any failed advances? I understand if you'd not.

[sheamatura]

There was this guy a few years ago. He was totally flirting with me, he seemed super interested. I told him I was into him. He said he was into this other chick, she was my friend, but not super close friend. I’d never even seen him talk to her. Then proceeded to tell me a few other girls that he was into. I remember running this by a friend, and my friend said, “All the girls he listed, if they were combined, would be exactly like you.” Physical appearance and personality wise. I don't know about you, but when guys make moves on me, I don’t tell them. “Hey I’m sorry I’m not interested in you, but I’m interested in these other 3 people.”

[Lucretio]

...

It's people like this that makes it harder to argue against the phrase that "Men are TRASH" LOAL!

Thanks for the response!

If you do ever give it another shot, i'll give you my blessings of luck and a metaphorical dustbin to remove any other trash ^_^

[Lexi_Lous]

Hey I'm also new! It feels good to see that I'm not alone! If I'm interested, I'm going for it, I don't have the patience to wait

[Lucretio]

Welcome newbie :D

That's awesome, take that charge girl! (<3_<3)/

[Anonymous]

I never would mainly because I wasn’t ever interested in seeing anyone as I’ve been busy with sorting out my life. Found myself making the first move a year ago with this guy and can say I’m glad I did. He’d never have said anything if I hadn’t said anything.

[Lucretio]

Keep this energy going girl

[moviedude714]

Did that guy end up as your boyfriend?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes and no haha. He ended up moving away so things have been difficult but it’s been a year and a half since then and we still haven’t given up in each other. We’re dating but without the title. I have him wrapped around my finger just like he has with me haha.

[TOTEMPLASTER]

FYI girls, the easiest way to instant seduction is to complain about being uncomfortable and remove your bra without taking off your top and then shaking your puppies to give them room to play. Cruel, ball-breaking, and Oh so effective.

[Lucretio]

Speaking from loads of experience I see 😶

[Anonymous]

I won't make the first move but I will be extremely sexual with him if I want him to ask me, always touching, brush my boobs against him, let him see down my shirt, rub my hand against him, things like that.

[btbc92]

Talk about sexual harassment and assault.

[Opinion Owner]

@btbc92 it's only that if the guy doesn't want it

[btbc92]

Trust me. MANY do NOT. It's still assaulting a person. if a guy did that to you, would you allow them or only if you like the guy? Please think. This is why men don't report assult.

[Lucretio]

I see...

Is it fear of rejection that prevents you from making the first move?

[Opinion Owner]

I have not met the guy who does not. You sound like a fucking bitch.

[btbc92]

Anonymous, no offensive. What your doing or saying you doing is a B**** move. Rethink what you're saying. I have no doubt you have a hard time finding a stable man because of this whorish attitude. Again, no offense, just being honest and stating the facts.

[btbc92]

And to be honest. You answered your own answer. You haven't met a guy who does, because of the type of person you ARE and how you display yourself. Unless you want men to use you for sex, take notes: that ABHOR it. You are your own worse enemy.

[yofuknutz]

we've come a long way in 30 years We used to pray for someone to make a move on like this And now it's considered sexual assault God help us And forgive us

[Opinion Owner]

@yofuknutz she's just a frigid bitch

[btbc92]

No. I'm not. You people want to do thay stuff, this is why more and half of you are single and want to why. It is cery much sexual harrassment without anyone's consent. The fact that you horny behind people even suggest that this is normal says you both need your head checked. Which is why again, you two are single.

[btbc92]

So, no. We haven't come a long way. We degraded in society. A guy who thinks being a manwhore is normal, amd young woman doesn't know how to approach a man properly like a decent human being. But I'm being a frigid b****? You're speaking to a so-called rape victim sweetheart, so I highly suggest you look at yourself with your sick pervert mindset. If a person does not verbally consent it is assault. The person does not have to pull away to feel assaulted, let alone molested. It's sick. No common sense in any of your brain cells. If that's how you treat men I really wonder why you're so single if that's what they like. If both of you feel that's how you have to get Partners or get people's approval that means you don't love yourself. Live how the way you choose to live with don't go around doing that to people and let alone talk about people you don't even know. I got this far in life because I stayed away from off the wall people. Feel sorry for any rape victim that ever crossed any of you two paths. Inhuman.

[msc545]

@yofuknutz agreed.

[yofuknutz]

Angry feminist is off tonight Maybe She will freeze off in this cold weather Like a Wicked Witch of the West

[btbc92]

@yofuknutz You're very disrespectful. What she is doing is being a feminist. The fact that you call me a witch and hope for me to die is disgusting. I wouldn't wish it on anybody. You like feminists go get them like you always do.

[btbc92]

I'm doing homework focusing on my future. Not see who is going to God forbid catch an STD next or pop up with a kid neither you nor she possibly wants and then comes on here whining about what to do. The feminist is who you agreeing to. 47 years old, nothing intelligent but your wiener. Probably smarter than your brain for a user name about "nutting" a woman after a boner. Maybe you two need to fix each other's problems since want somebody like you and you to want somebody like her? None of you like that? Neither of you should disrespect other people. I'm pretty sure the two men that downvoted her are men of common sense. Goes to show you it's just a loud minority of you people. No disrespect, just facts like I told the both of you. You're a grown-ass man, unless your a widow still grieving, why the hell are you single complaining about coming along in 30 years? 30 years ago you should have found somebody and STAYED with them. Not having 40+ sex partners not knowing what diseases you may have. Don't talk about me. Because I care about being with 1 man, for the rest of my life, having a family and something stable. A man who loves and respects me and shows that by how he treats me. Better somebody like George from It's a Wonderful Life, then some man full of disease and problems and still don't want to stay clean. Your example of a male feminist. Don't like a male feminist just seeking for his next lay. My male dog has more manners than you. Never had to teach him to wait for a woman to walk ahead of him when they're unable. And he's a dog, your a human. Sad. Too bad he isn't human. Can't turn a hoe into a housewife, or a husband.

[yofuknutz]

Oh I'm sorry did I break your concentration

[btbc92]

@yofuknutz Nope. But you help me get an A talking about it.

[yofuknutz]

You know I'm not that kind of guy I'm just using a quote from my former friend's father Who now passed away He said how come you Did not Get an A+ cocksucker Yes father actually said that to him My friend came home with a A- On his report card So we thought we were going to celebrate dinner No sir Instead I walked out I cannot believe it but me a lot of things growing up in the Bronx

[btbc92]

@yofuknutz Well buddy, growing up in Brooklyn is no walk in the park either. You don't see me treating people how I don't wish to be treated.

[btbc92]

SORRY for your loss. But it's no excuse.

[btbc92]

There is a reason why I left there. Just because you grew up in da hood, that doesn't mean you have to act like one. I didn't bring that with me. I left it in Brooklyn. And when I was 14. Never went back to being a person who didn't speak up for herself because nobody did it for me. Guess who helped me through all the shootings, killings, rape, s and threats? God. The same one you people disrespect.

[btbc92]

If your not that kind of guy, DON'T BE that GUY. It really is as simple as that. Choose what kind of man you want to be.

[msc545]

@yofuknutz we can all hope

[yofuknutz]

Brooklyn I hate that place more than the Bronx It doesn't mean I hate you And yes what kind of God do you worship For me is Jesus It's a lot more simpler

[btbc92]

@yofuknutz Jesus had said, "not to worship him but our Father in heaven". But he did say "you believe in God, believe in me also."

[yofuknutz]

Interesting I always believe you have to go through Jesus first before you get to the father

[btbc92]

Of course you have to go to Jesus to go to the father. But what did Jesus had said in Matthew. When you pray to the father? I'm pretty sure you know the Lord's Prayer. you still praise, you still honor, you still show your love for Jesus. But we are called to worship God. Jesus never said for us to worship himself. Remember what it had said in the word of God. When they start to worship him what happened?

[btbc92]

But Jesus has shown us how to get to the father. He has shown us the way. Sadly. Is something at the churches aren't teaching today.

[Holisticapproachsara]

I tried honestly. But either the guy get so surprised and intimidated. ( he starts to question if i am stable or not)
Or does not seem interested to take anything further. so i find it easier to be asked out.

[Lucretio]

It's so uncommon in a guy's life that they throw golden opportunities v_v

You a real one for at least throwing yourself out there!

[Holisticapproachsara]

Yea, even though i felt hurt after the failed attempt. But i told myself at least i tried. Otherwise i would have regretted not trying

[Lucretio]

They missed out on a real one, keep your head up Queen!

[Holisticapproachsara]

Aww thanks ! Thats so kind of u☺️

[hannah7]

Yes, but I'm not nearly as successful doing that, because there's no way to be sure the guy likes me. So you have to be prepared for rejection.

[Lucretio]

That's literally the life story for almost all men :P It's hard but we adapt...

Next time you see the opportunity, bite!

[hannah7]

Oh I know :) Don't worry I will!

[taeh_ie2]

I personally prefer not to, but if I’m really into him I don’t mind bringing my stubbornness down a notch and shoot my shot.

[pigoat]

Girls don't approach me because I'm not that guy

But some below average girls have given me hints and i don't take them because i don't want them


Although one average girl told me I'm so fine

I try not to laugh

[btbc92]

No. They don't approach you because of the very things I warned you about. They sensed that of you and it makes you unattractive. Your looks have 0 to do with it unless that is all they are looking for.

[Katie1964]

I do for Hubby, everyone wants to feel desired. So even though I prefer him to be the one making the move, he needs me to do that for him as well.

[RawIronhide]

They're going to say they do. The truth is they don't have to so they don't. They can just sit back and wait. This is unheard of for men. My whole life no woman has ever approved me.

[Avicenna]

its not difficult to do it. if she wants to do it, great.

[Lucretio]

Not really worried about the difficulty here, just wondering about the thoughts of the women or do/don't.

[casserolie]

i usually make a few flirtatious jokes but not like "hey sexy" more like "wow chill dude you could kill someone with eyes like that"

[Erinawolff1412]

I did and got rejected. Soo... i dont wanna feel bad again.

[Lucretio]

You're still a Queen for trying!

You didn't lose anything significant for trying!

A better opportunity could easily await you in future.. don't let this previous attempt hold back future successes!

[Erinawolff1412]

Thank you. You are really sweet.

[Anonymous]

I once made it very clear to a guy that I was into him and was looking for something with him. He flat-out rejected me :(((

He wasn’t super good looking, I just felt like I liked his personality.

Well, I guess he didn’t like mine.

[Lucretio]

You're a queen for trying.

Hope that won't stop you moving first again in the future!