Girls, I’m not a mushy, cutesy woman. Is there something wrong with me?

[silvermoon84]

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against relationships or romance or anything like that. However, I just recently got back into the dating scene after years of being single. The last guy I was with fucked me over and dated three other women behind my back all the while he was getting back with his EX unbeknownst to any of us. I was crazy about him so, as you can imagine, it destroyed me, and he was the only guy I really got mushy for. Several years later, after having friends (especially the married ones) riding my ass about being single, I got back on the dating apps and I’m astonished at how many guys just get mushy right off the bat, which is a turn off to me. Now that I’m healed (yet guarded), I don’t like it when guys get mushy and I’m back to my old self. I’m especially irked by cutesy, generic pet names right off the back (babe, baby, honey, sweetheart, etc). It says my name in my profile, so until we’ve actually been on a few dates, I just want to be called my name. If things go well, THEN you can call me whatever pet name you want.

Truth is, before my last ex, I never was the mushy type. I was nice guys and very affectionate in private, but the most I did in public was let him hold my hand and kiss me on the cheek. My friend tells me that I need to just let them call me the cute names right away if they want to. I want to tell them to stop. I tell her that I’ve never been mushy, she just answers “oh honey we need to change that about you” or “well start being the mushy type” even though she insists that I don’t change anything about myself. I feel like forcing myself to be mushy is forcing myself to be something I’m not. She sees up front mush as sweet, I see it as love bombing

I feel like there’s something wrong with me for not being the overly romantic mushy girl. Is there any other girl out there who is also this way?

[DishLady]

Theses things take time. Hang in there.


No, you don’t have to change who you are (your styles and preference), bc in the end the guy needs to like YOU, not your friend. If a guy calls you some pet name and you don’t know him too much, no need to correct him on the v first date bc it IS a turnoff, but you can guide the guy indirectly by NOT calling him cutesy names till he catches up with you.

[midnightmoon05]

Only comfortable with my hubby…

I have to develop confort level before showing more affection.
Guys I don’t like or don’t know well, I would not call them by any pet names.

[Anonymous]

Possibly?
I don’t like being touched. It’s very off putting, just as fast as a pen lands to the ground. It’s confusing for me to understand physical touch with such strangers but guys seem to use it as a game/leverage. Again, off putting. Headache over all. Too many discomforts 😂