Why Won't Most Women Meet The Men They Chat With on Dating Apps?

Question

I know women who join a dating site because they want to meet a man. They get countless emails from men and the woman will start chatting with a few. But she won't physically meet them.

1. Why won't a woman physically meet the men she is chatting with? She must be interested in these men or else she wouldn't be chatting with them.
2. How can a woman complain that she is unable to "find a man" if she won't even physically meet men on a dating app?

Why Wont Most Women Meet The Men They Chat With on Dating Apps?

Alli112 · Accepted Answer

"emails" lol. Does this shit still happen via email?

But for real, I've tried dating apps a couple times, more out of curiosity than anything and there were a bunch of guys that I never got past the texting phase with, even if they did ask to meet in person. When I said "no", it was usually because I found their conversation boring (why would I meet someone I didn't think I would actually enjoy talking to?), they were like extremely low-effort (felt like talking to an AI rather than a person, so again, why bother meeting someone who's probably isn't actually interested in me as a person), or because I didn't like the vibe (ex. they seemed unpleasant, pushy, or unsafe in some capacity). No point in meeting if you don't think you'll have a good (and safe) time. You've got to remember that meeting in person tends to be a way bigger risk for women than men, and many won't bother unless they're genuinely intersted for whatever reason.

I think boredom was the biggest one in my case though tbh, I'm a bit of a character (nerdy, silly, etc) and don't have much for finance bros or dudes who can't talk about anything other than sports. 🤷‍♀️

SugarSugarplum · Accepted Answer

Same reason they post on social media all the time. Once they have the 35 matches and 75, "hello babe"s every day, they know they're a catch. What else do they need? Meeting up with randos from the internet is scary, and a lot of times, dangerous.

Fireguy17 · Accepted Answer

there is a huge difference between chatting and pulling the pin and actually meeting someone.
You can be anyone you want to be online.
So either something was a red flag, eventually the real person can start to sneak out, she does her due diligence and actually checks this person out and they end up not passing the sniff test, or he just isn't what they are looking for.
Many would probably prefer to stay single rather than settling for someone that is just ok.
And that is fine. That is probably what they had before.
I used the better dating sites when I was looking for a partner, and ended up using eHarmony and that is where I met my now wife.
The cost does help keep some of the trolls at bay, but not all.
I met some women that did not even resemble their picture that they used on their profile.
You have to figure at some point you are actually going to meet them, so use one that shows what you actually look like.
So while in some ways just meeting people is easier, finding the "right" one is still a lot of work.

Jbear27 · Accepted Answer

I think it’s a few things. One is the sheer number of matches women have as opposed to men. We get excited and throw all our energy into the few matches we get a week. But women probably get 10x that amount in just a few hours. Then it’s the quality of the conversation. That said I’ve had a very different experience. I’ve easily been able to meet most of the women I chat with usually within a week of chatting. I thought dating apps were kind of a desperate way to meet women, but due to my crazy work hours and the fact that I don’t like going out to bars and clubs much I decided to give it a try. I’ve met a lot of cool women do coffee and drinks. Dated a few and am currently dating one right now.

DishLady · Answer

Because most guys online are lying about at least three things.

Finchie40 · Answer

Probably because she doesn’t trust him , and probably assumes he is only after one thing , Sex , it’s easier to meet people in public

Vermillion30 · Answer

I was a OKC Community Mod. 1.) Fake Images on both sides. 80% of profiles use photos that are 5+ years old and/or Filters 2.) A lot of Dating Profiles are AI now to bait you into buying, are from other countries trying to date someone from a nation they want to move to, or scammers trying to get money. 3.) Time - Sometimes you meet the perfect person but family work or just plain life get in the way 4.) Numbers - there is a 20/1 to 50/1 Ratio of Men to Women. Women get to pick and choose, this also friend zones a lot of men who if meeting the person without Online dating would have had a dates. 5.) Perfection - with numbers comes perfection. You have no idea how many broke off perfect conversation just because they liked different movies, different songs on Albums. 6.) Creep or lying

100% one of those 6.

Coolbreez0 · Answer

Could very well be that a lot of women on those sites are not actually women at all. They are AI their computers that you’re chatting with sometimes I don’t know exactly how many of them do this but I’ve heard and read it just about every dating site as at least handful of or sprinkling AI women, they will never meet you. They always give you excuses why they can’t meet this that but it will never come to real or maybe they just enjoy dirty talk Or you could be talking to a human operator just texting with you and 20 other people

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

When I was on dating apps I literally met every woman with whom I spoke no more than three times, if it even got to three before we met. This must be some new occurrence because that was absolutely not my experience. I find that incredibly odd behavior and look forward to reading the responses.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Shitty personalities
Turns out to be a perv
Most guys on apps only want sex
There was only one guy I actually liked and wanted to go on a date with but I was too scared to meet him lol. After I told him I didn't want to meet I got off of the app.

Levin · Answer

I think online dating represents the worst in both genders.

Why won't the guy make the effort in real life?

Any woman who has any online presence is simply bombarded with probably 100s of messages a week. That's why she doesn't reply unless you're a '10/10'.

The man needs to use his brain and work out the supply and demand dynamic in this case.

HighValue · Answer

They want attention.

They are not serious about an exclusive long term relationship.

They pretend they are interested, but if the guy isn't nearly perfect in every way for the things she wants, she doesn't meet them.

Or the guy talks about what he wants in a mate and she knows that she will never be good enough quality because of her past life decisions. (Very common).

thatshydork · Answer

Honestly for me it’s mostly because either A. They are going too fast for me or B. I get into my own head about if they would actually like me once they met me in person.

Nikki1989 · Answer

You are 36 and still haven't figured this out yet? Most women have NO intention of meeting anyone, period. They are just there for shits and giggles.

spartan55 · Answer

Too many women use OLD as empty validation. I say empty because online communication is never as good as face to face. I call these women 'tire kickers' and unfortunately sometimes they are difficult to spot.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

because guys on those apps are only sex oriented :D

luvstoned4him · Answer

So many reasons, for safety, its too soon, its a relationship that won't materialize, very long distance, she isn't attracted but dont mind having a friend, she's into women.. etc etc etc

alice55 · Answer

afraid of getting killed or raped. Our family keep on feeding us men are all killer and dangerous (as well as tv so it's no wonder women are afraid of meeting men they chat with online);

Vegasrunner · Answer

Women aren't on dating apps to meet men they are on them for attention.

Guacamole409 · Answer

After five minutes, ask her out for a coffee.

just_a_potato · Answer

Because I don't want to be murdered for not sleeping with them 🥰

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Sometimes it's timing. Sometimes there's someone else she is more attracted to / gets along better with etc.

Anonymous · Answer

Most women are just window shopping on dating apps.

I've found what works best for me is I ONLY respond to the women who message me first (because odds are if she messaged you she's truly interested).

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Safety... plus, a lot of women are only there for attention.

DrPepper12 · Answer

I would think her desire for self-preservation and continuing to be alive might play a role...

noohair · Answer

My experience with these Apps is that if a woman won't meet, it is a scam where they plan to get close and then ask for money.

dolemite58 · Answer

Cuz a lot of girls just use apps for attention and validation and don’t have any intention of meeting up with guys that hit them up.

Anonymous · Answer

If she can get a man, she wouldn't be on the dating app in the first place.

rosemilk · Answer

because we have to be super careful

Why Won't Most Women Meet The Men They Chat With on Dating Apps?

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Why do so many people here use dating apps instead of meeting people organically?

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