Why do some people on dating sites only seem interested in chatting, but not in going on actual dates?

Question

Jake99999 · Accepted Answer

Who knows. Everyone has their own take on things. Just drop the ones that won’t agree to meet. A ton of time can be wasted texting for weeks with someone - and then
you find you have zero chemistry in person and you kick yourself for having just wasted a ton of time messaging. If they don’t agree to a meet after a reasonable amount of time to see if there is interest, then just drop them and move on. Some people are just time wasters.

anylolone · Accepted Answer

They are there just for validation.

GingerGuy · Answer

There could be lots of reasons depending on the specific person. Some need to talk to someone for a while before meeting, others like to meet right away. It could be based on past bad experiences. It could be social anxiety, they want to, but find it hard. And during Covid times, this adds a whole other problem of meeting. But lots of times nobody asks directly either. People tend to just make assumptions. And in my own personal experience on them, I fully expect someone I start talking to, to just suddenly stop and ghost me, because it happens 99.9% of the time. The length of conversations can vary, but one thing that's always the same, there's no communication when they decide to ghost you. So for example if the reason was because I wasn't asking to meet, she not only never said anything, but ALSO never suggested it. Sometimes a guy is waiting to gage her interest (which can be very hard). But a lot of people tend to not take dating sites very seriously, and I've even had some people admit they are only on them for attention, and no intentions of ever meeting anyone. So? It makes it hard for sure when you are seriously looking for something.

ohshee · Answer

I have probably been to about 5 or 6 online dating apps I start to fill out the questionnaire for the profile and I never finish it and I never go back but in the last past year and a half I think I've noticed the guys are just getting lazier and lazier they don't want to put effort into anything so if you meet somebody on a dating app online and you start chatting with him he finds a little bit more convenient to just talk about sex then to go out and actually please somebody and enjoy it they would rather just chat about it and there are moments in time where I think I'm the same way it depends on where the person is located most of all if they're not on the West Coast and I would rather just chat with them and and make you feel good that way LOL will you know what I mean those people I need any way online are from the East Coast I very rarely find somebody that lives close to me

Interstate · Answer

This is actually a GOOD thing. They are engaging in dialogue to get to know as much about you as possible. They want to see how you react to as much as possible. They bring up their interests and things they find to be Pros, and look to see how you react to each of them. The same applies to those on their "Cons" list. They are making THEIR assessment of, "we make a pair" or "don't we dare".

This is the point at which you should be doing the same. Ask lots of questions, mention things you find Pros and study his reaction. The same with the Cons. If you follow this lead, you stand a great chance. It also shows him you are genuinely interested.

readyplayer001 · Answer

it seems to be all the same people, who really dont even have much to chat about, if you dont meet for sex they are done, then you have the married guys lying about everything time wasting i just closed mine, met a guy supposedly single we talked, hit it off on the phone text then all of a sudden i am married with kids? WTF? is that sh*t? nothing but game players both male and female for the most part 98 percent then the other 2 percent like myself get duped, time wasted, feelings involved by lying douche bags

cryscrys1 · Answer

It can be because they are boring killing time.
Or they are scared , sometimes they lost younger pic of themself and scared to bring their current face.. this is very true!!
Also because according to them they think you won’t like them they probably have low self esteem
Or they are MARRIED be aware of such losers

Novacane · Answer

That is one thing I've noticed, most of my matches have only been conversational and no dates. I think it has to do with covid especially and also the fact that people are on online dating because it's hard for them in person, therefore going on a date might still make them a bit nervous, that's why they try their best to work around that.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I feel this way if they only want to chat and not meet then their not for real
I just had a woman who wanted to come to meet me but had no money guess
what I'm onto people who are scammers and I told that person how i feel

TikiTook · Answer

I’m just on their for mild flirting when I’m bored. I don’t see an issue with this. I’ve had guys say I’m leading them on/wasting their time yet there are millions of men on these sites that will lie and manipulate a girl to have sex with her and then ghost her and think that’s totally ok. Everyone is on their for their own reasons and I don’t think it should be frowned upon if people are only on it for casual chatting on a Friday night and to not want it to go further.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

Unless they are just looking for someone to talk to, either online or on the phone. But then, why would they be on dating sites for that.

LaFerrari · Answer

I think people get more comfortable talking behind a screen, where their confidence is much stronger, than actually meeting up with someone, they don't have that barrier between the person, so they have a lack of confidence. I can relate to it, though I've never gone on dating websites. Nor have I really dated anyone.

Bricealan · Answer

My only thought would be that they are not what they present themselves to be, or maybe they are just double ugly and afraid to meet face to face.

Lionman95 · Answer

Because of the amount of possible date partners. There seem so many women that as a guy you want to keep yourself as many options as possible for as long as possible.
While in offline dating this choice is made at the beginning, in online dating we try to take time because it seems that it can work that way.

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

They might have girlfriends or crushes and just be there to socialize

DonkeyDan · Answer

So many on dating apps are just time wasters and bored, or trolls and catfish.

jshm2 · Answer

Because most of them are either trolls, catfishers or introverts looking to just chat.

Ailaw22 · Answer

I think I came across one such girl too talking about sexual stuff and all which yes made me excited but never made actual effort to meet so I ended up getting disappointed 😑

Sam_The_Savage · Answer

Forget dating site.. I met few girls from this site too.

msc545 · Answer

Those are the scammers. Text with them long enough, and they will ask for money.

Avicenna · Answer

Some are probably in relationships and just want validation or are bored

VikingWarLord · Answer

Cuz most on those stupid dating apps are single mothers who can't meet you any damn way

genericname85 · Answer

if they're not interested to go on a datre, they're just being nice but not into you. simple as that.

convo_king89 · Answer

their bored and just want to waste ppls time to be a jerk and use them.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Maybe they will, but just take longer to get accustomed to it?

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Because gas prices are too damn high. We want to make sure you're a good match before we actually make plans to physically go somewhere.

stargazeraug1989 · Answer

Myriad reasons. None of them good, obviously. Is this something you're experiencing personally?

Starman5 · Answer

I mean, their purpose is to flirt online. they don't want serious relationship

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Attention feels good for a lot of people.

alexthesproutxx · Answer

Because it’s easier probably

noohair · Answer

Because people are lonely and afraid. Be patient, life is a marathon, sprinters don't finish well.

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

It’s way too artificial. Part of it is not them, it’s the whole thing. Just LET IT HAPPEN

Wise4myage · Answer

They are probably just killing time.

PeterCharie1991 · Answer

I dont know but its annoying isn't it

Slim57 · Answer

I don't know but those people suck

Lonely888 · Answer

Window shopping

EaterPeter · Answer

Lot of other factors may be. Where do you live?

Adam-94 · Answer

Lake of confidence

shortster · Answer

I don't know.

CantGetItUp · Answer

Validation

Why do some people on dating sites only seem interested in chatting, but not in going on actual dates?

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Why do some people on dating sites only seem interested in chatting, but not in going on actual dates?

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