How come women never respond on dating apps?

[Anonymous]

I know I'm not the best looking guy you'll see on there but I make up with being funny, having a sense of humor and a good personality but I guess you won't get that from just looking at me..

My problem is Women aren't even giving me a chance even the ones I match with. I send a message and it never gets read or even opened.. what am I doing wrong?

[Anonymous]

Dating apps can be very humbling and really force you to reevaluate your sense of self. Like what if you don’t really have a winning personality, or you aren’t as funny as you thought? Other things can play a role as well, such as what you’re wearing or even how you take your pics. I will swipe past a man with awkward selfies or bad fashion and that includes dirty/wrinkled/sweat stain clothes. Bad hygiene you can see in pics, like bad teeth, skin full of oil/acne/blemish, glasses fogged from dirtiness.

[Asker]

Orrrrrr I actually show no signs of that. I dress very nice, I don't have awkward pictures and everyone around me can vouch for who I am as a person.. most women just want that 1% guys that everyone goes for.. the average guy barely comes out on top

[slatyb]

Do you contact the average women, or are you hitting on the top 1%? The top 1% of women will be looking for the top 1% of men because they can get them.

[OneViewpoint]

I don't know for sure but what I've heard over and over again is that many women, if they are even moderately attractive, get inundated with contacts from needy, horny, low effort men who just play a numbers game by sending out messages or "likes" to a hundred women a day. The messages tend to be inappropriate or a single 5 word sentence where there was obviously zero effort. And the guy's profile is likewise a zero effort attempt to get easy sex.

So women get overwhelmed and disillusioned. Or maybe your honest effort to make contact just gets lost in a flood of 200 garbage messages she gets per day. So women get really selective. And that pretty much defeats the purpose of a dating app. So why bother?

And yeah, a lot of younger women are looking for 6'5" Chad and Tyrone with a huge cock and an investment banking job to fuck them away to a life of luxury.

I think it goes something like that. Plenty of stupidity going around on both sides.

[slatyb]

Because 90% of the men hit on 10% of the women. The women can't possibly respond to all of them. What do you write in your profile? What do you say when you contact a woman? Do you just send out a generic "hey I like you" message, or do you take the time to respond to something in her profile so she knows you read it? I dated online at your and almost every woman responded in some way. I was on Match, so the women who were active were mostly paid members, so they were seriously looking to date. I expect that on free sites the response rate would be much lower. At that time there was basically Match and EHarmony (ick!) and one or two specialized sites like JDate. All the free sites were useless.

[slatyb]

... at your age...

[Asker]

I mean I usually try to pick something out of there bio.. I always try to avoid the "heys" or whatever it is that's generic.. I'm ngl tho I'm not the best at openers but I can keep a convo going.. and I usually only match with "average"looking women, it'll never be the 1% attractive ones lol (ever) but like I said half the time my messages just don't even get opened so they'll never know what it says. I got a reply the other day but she was just trying to sell me "content" .. I'm 32 and atp I think I should just go another 30 and just focus on my life atp

[slatyb]

Find some activities that women join. I took a community college French class and there were 22 women and 3 men. I expect that art classes would be similar. You could try dance meetups or co-rec sports. If you do start an activity, don't hit on the women immediately. Give them a chance to get to know, and vice versa so you know who's even available. If you are friendly, you won't have to ask them out. They will be asking you.

[Asker]

I appreciate the response. Definitely going to look into that, but over the years I've learned that being friendly only ends you in the friend zone or the "you're like a brother" like lol. I just need to get my money up and I won't have to chase anything

[slatyb]

Being friendly doesn't mean volunteering to do favors. It means learning people's names and saying hello when you see them. Then it means saying "how was your weekend?" and starting some conversation. If the woman won't engage with you, then don't hit on her no matter how strongly attracted you are. If you participate in a group for a few months, and contribute instead of just showing up, you will get attention.

[AvaRay]

Hey, I don't know who u r since u r anon here..

But, I just want to say to u that I really do understand how u feel n what u going through..

I can't deny that at 1st time people ll look at our looks, r we attractive enough / not cause we r not going to bt with sorm

[AvaRay]

Sorry by mistake I hvnt finish saying n already get clicked send.. I ll continue here

Cause we r not going to be with someone / pursue things further with someone who isn't looked attractive for us that's true

But actually later in time people look more into our personalities, our character..

That's what's make relationship going lasts not looks..

[AvaRay]

So u don't hv to feel less of yourself just cause of your looks is just ok ok..

Your worth n value as a person isn't define on that..

I m sure that u hv good quality in u as a person which is more precious than just looks n people who can't see that it's their loss not yours..

So u don't hv to lower yourself n beg for people to love u, u ll find someone who can see that , who can value that n cherish that even feel grateful for hving u in her life..

[AvaRay]

Be with someone who value your heart, your worth as a person more than your looks / what u hv materialistic stuff..

Be with someone who has good character, good value thats more worth of fighting for..

better slow but u be with right person rather than u want things to be fast but u screw yourself with a wrong person..

I believe that u r amazing man.. u r a good man n someday right woman who be with u ll say with proud that I m so blessed n lucky to be with this man

Cheer up n God bless u.. 🙏😊

[Asker]

Thank you so much Ms. Anon. This truly has won me over. Thank you so much for the kind words/advice

[AvaRay]

U r very welcome.. n I m really sorry for posting it as anon 😅🙏

[AvaRay]

U can add me as friend if u want, my username here is AvaRay.. 😊

[DishLady]

I wouldn’t know from personal experience but I would guess that it’s a bit like being on GAG. You don’t answer if you don’t feel like it.

[Clear_Skies10]

There's a lot of competition on some dating apps. Every guy messages the most attractive women, and those women only message the top few guys that are banging half the women there. Those women don't want to go through the awkward process of letting people down, so they just don't respond.

[Anonymous]

Most of them are just window shopping dude.

I will tell any guy that will listen NEVER message women first on a dating app. If every guy would do this the problem would resolve itself. Understand the rules of online dating are INVERSE to real life dating.

Yes you will still get matches I get about 5 a week doing this. And yes, some of those will still go nowhere. But at least you'll have a connection for your effort.

[Asker]

Yeah but even if we match their still not gonna strike up a conversation with me first lol unless their a robot or an OF girl

[Opinion Owner]

Did you read my post. I said Never message them first. You'll get a few.

[Anonymous]

If you could see our inboxes on any app you would not believe it, and the sifting you have to go through to find the people you want to talk to. On a lot of them the new messages push the old messages way down and make them hard to find. Some have good filters so you can keep the ones you want where they're easy to get to.

[seeyounexttuesday]

You are a fool to be on a dating website.