How odd is it for a female to have no luck with the dating apps?

[Anonymous]

27F, it’s odd and just unlucky considering most women don’t have to bat an eye when it comes to dating. I’ve been on and off the apps for years, I’ve recently come to point where I just put minimal effort. Minimal as in sending a message 2-3 days max and swiping on profiles maybe every other week. I’ve spent so much time asking myself what’s wrong with me, even lost and maintained my weight loss over the years and can’t attract a guy I’d want. I get attention and likes but it’s the unrequited/only want hookups/they like me I don’t like them situation. I really don’t think there’s anything wrong with me, I have a low sex drive but that’s more common for women vs men. I find it odd that I couldn’t attract a decent guy where it’s reciprocated and the rest falls into place. Dating apps were my only outlet, I don’t have friends. Atm I’m on hinge, which I’ve heard is one of the better apps. My mom tells me I just haven’t found the right one and maybe that’s the case but can’t help but wonder if there’s more to it? Maybe not

Odd

Not odd

[ohshee]

I've been to 5 to 7 dating app I have started my profile page but have never finished one lol or even been back to them.. I feel sometimes we get in our own way.
You say you have been doing this for a while now. And you have even let yourself go. That tells me your not really in to it. Your sex drive is low and that tells me your not really in to it. Or you haven't found the right guy. That wasn't selfish and made it all about you ...

Ik i kinda have a question for you you meet a guy on an app you go out have fun and maybe even sex . And either that's all the guy wanted or even sometimes that's all the girl wanted
But for what ever reason it didn't work out

I'm the type of guy who wants to know who the girl is before I even go out

I can tell with jn 3 min of talking who she is and the more we talk the more I learn. But in that time I also can feel her. We all have an energy and when you meet someone that's the first thing that happens. Weather your standing right in front of them or your 5000 miles away you feel there energy.. . We didn't even have to talk . because in your post I feel your words
So that's mean i feel you. And I can tell you so many things about you just from you words from your question you have a beautiful heart your a good person but you have no motivation no drive because in your mind you have it all planned out. . Try this one time clear your mind your heart your morals values and ethics

When you lay in bed at night and you think of guys wake up a person and become her
But only when you can feel the guys energy get to know him on the phone get to know him through text be a little bit more promiscuous Let Yourself Go let your hair down become that naughty girl this way he's going to open up to you and you're going to find out exactly who he is and what he wants
Give yourself that freedom to explore something to experience something new you haven't done before or maybe you just haven't taken it there allow yourself to experience something it will make you grow don't be afraid to show Who You Are or who you want to be or something that you want to experience be honest about it and let it happen weathers its through sexting or phone sex. But allow yourself to go there wide open full blast because in this time you with know who the person is you will know everything you need to know if he makes it all about you and you feel him deep then give it a shot kn real life if he's gone and over with in a few min. Move on if he can make it all about you on the phone he's never going to any other time

I know it sounds crazy but at least try it it's changed its new it's exciting it's fresh and you just might absolutely love it it might get you motivated it might make you think or feel something different and that's what you need right now start all over

You're stuck in the same rut get out of there in order to change you need to feel something different if you need motivation I'll motivate you you have to experience something before you understand it

[Anonymous]

Well I would say it is a bit out of the ordinary as women in general have more of an advantage on dating sites/apps then men.

I suppose I will need more context. But, I will try to provide insight as best as possible based on the information you provided.

Now my initial advice would be to message more then you do if you are not finding success. The weight loss and maintaining that weight loss is a positive step so good work on that. Now if that doesn't work or in combination of messaging more I would suggest widening the net in terms of the guy you are looking for.

I understand rejecting advances from someone if it is unrequited or they are only looking for a hookup since you are seeking a genuine relationship. But, pertaining to the they like you but you don't like them detail (if I am misunderstanding please elaborate further). But, essentially I have to ask how do you know you don't like them for certain? What if that guy doesn't take the best pictures, or maybe he doesn't have your ideal body type, maybe his job doesn't sound the most glamourous but what if by getting to know him you find out you do like him?

Like I said I don't have the full context. But, if you are not getting matched with people you like initially then what do you have to lose by giving it a try with someone who does seem to like you and wants to get to know you and genuinely date you? Even if they don't have every single quality you are looking for.

I do understand your situation for different reasons. Due to my busy school schedule the only major outlet I have to pursue dating is sites/apps. I do have friends but not a major amount and despite them being a mix of men and women they don't branch out into major social circles so meeting people through them isn't much of an option.

But, anyway I don't think there is anything necessarily wrong with you it is a thought process and situation many can find themselves in. Also, to go back to the weight loss comment like I said that is a positive change. Keeping up with positive changes and improving yourself is a benefit in the long run as it will help you and make you more appealing to others as well so keep up working on avenues to improve yourself. Now if you can branch out you might consider joining a class or group of a hobby you are interested in to find a potential guy you would want to date. I know it seems daunting as it is putting yourself out there and time to spend. If you are worried about meeting guys maybe choose a hobby or group you know has more single men that you might not be 100% passionate about to increase your chances.

I hope some of these insights help to a certain degree and if you have further questions, comments, concerns or want to explain your situation further just let me know and I will respond when I am able too. Good luck!

[shaysh87]

As a girl who has been meeting people for years over the internet, i can tell you that vast majority of people online especially dating apps or craigslist are those with personality issues, attention seekers, indecent shallow people, perverts, misogynists, gold diggers.
I have been through so much over the years because of them. Its not worth the trouble.

Go find someone from real life. There is q much higher chance you will meet someone decent in real life.

[Anonymous]

It's not odd. Your choices on there are generally all terrible, so no reason to be worried you can't find someone good.

[slatyb]

"I have a low sex drive, that's more common for women vs. men" It's not. Most men will be frustrated with a woman who has a low sex drive.

"I don't have friends" -- why not? Get out and meet some people.

"if there's more to it?" Yes, there is. Have you considered seeing a therapist?

"My mom tells me..." Are you still living at home?

[Anonymous]

It's not "you" personally. Like you said, finding who YOU want. I can't find anyone I want either, and if I do, I get nothing back. The guys you want are likely already taken. That's the conclusion I've come to, they're already taken. It truly is finding a needle in a haystack. And then if you find them, getting them to talk to you is another battle! lol

[Avicenna]

Anytime a woman doesn’t meet men on dating apps, it’s a matter of her being too picky. You also can’t just message back and forth for long without suggesting a meetup because guys are talking to multiple women.

[Sparkie460]

The choices you have are not the greatest. Apparently the guys that appeal to you are only looking for o. n. s. maybe you need to broaden your standards in men. There is someone for everyone it just takes time to find them

[spartan55]

Define 'low sex drive', hopefully you understand that will narrow your options.

[Anonymous]

Dating apps are full of catfish, women looking for validation, escorts and desperate guys who look like vomit. Of course no regular guys even bother anymore.

[Anonymous]

You are attracted to guys, who are only attracted to women, who are considered more attractive than you.

[bean2k21]

You sound like you're too picky. You need a man to train you properly.

[dudeinohio]

Patience and persistence wins on dating sites. You'll find someone in due time.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Based on the effort you're putting forth and your expectations sounds like the results you're having should be expected.

[Intothevoid666]

My gut instinct says it’s ur standards but I don't know.

[KrakenAttackin]

"Can't attract a guy I'd want"... This is the key. You are too picky.

[FilmGuy93]

Online dating in general is a bit of a crapshoot.

[Jackson619]

Do worry I have bad luck too

[Anonymous]

As odd as 80% of society.