Why does anyone think they’re entitled to someone else?

[Anonymous]

Look. Everyone is entitled to have standards. But nobody is required to meet them. If you can’t find the kind of men or women you’re wanting. Maybe it’s who you had the problem.

I know people say “I’m allowed to have standards” which is absolutely true. Nobody is entitled to be with you. But you’re not entitled to be with someone either.

[SugarSugarplum]

This is because people view dating like they view ordering a Mercedes.

I want the one with the red seats, dual overhead cam, the XE trim package...

or

I want the 5'8" blonde with wide hips and ample boobs with no prior sex partners who's wild and sexually adventurous, but ONLY with me. She needs to cook, clean, dress sexy, and want 8 kids. She must never argue, or contradict anything I say. Oh and she mustn't mind if I spend 40 hours a week video gaming, and just coming over to my house for sex 4 times a week.

The right way to date is to look for someone with basic compatibility. Basic compatibility is not checking 1000 perfection tick boxes, it's just an answer to the question, If that person was at the next table in a restaurant I was at, would I be able to stay at my table, or would I feel compelled to leave.

How in the world is a date supposed to surprise and enthrall you of you won't even consider sitting down with them unless you custom ordered them from Amazon?

[Asker]

Yep,… exactly how some guys are. Then there are women too who it’s like he must be 6 foot plus. Have a 6 figure salary. Alwyas open the door etc. But then what does she offer? Usually those kind of men also have options the same as the beautiful woman you decribed.

People should find who makes them happy. Absolutely having standards is a good thing. But absolutely nobody is perfect. No relationship will be perfect.

Having major arguments all the time isn’t healthy. But also finding someone whose just passive all the time is probably pretending to be someone they’re not

[Sharkstealth]

That's describing myself although very few get past knowing more than being over 6 foot.

[DishLady]

Anyone who thinks they are entitled to another person's time, thoughts and resources simply by some kind of "default" logic is delusional.

Love, attention and respect are earned over time (with the one exception of the parent-child bond). Maintaining the standards of love, attention and respect that a person wants in their life takes work. It requires dedication and time that only a person who loves you will take.

If a person you think you want in your life shows themselves to be significantly unable to maintain the basic standards you've set together, then that's a red flag and means that it's time to part ways.

[Asker]

Exactly

[Asker]

Everyone wants their own standards. Nobody wants people they aren’t into wasting their time. But they feel they can someone else. Even when they don’t have a lot to offer

[DishLady]

That's the thing. While I personally am not sitting around with "ROI" on my mind, I do want to know that we're both coming into the relationship with fun and exciting things to offer one another, intellectually, emotionally and physically. An actually balanced relationship, you know?

[DishLady]

(And most importantly, a positive, life-affirming relationship based on mutual respect and affection.)

[beaves11]

This is from the woman who literally said a guy who wore a wig for style purposes was a fool haha.

[Asker]

You’re right and people choose to be bitter with people because they aren’t right for them. Instead of thanking the other for their time but just saying we are both looking for different things.

That and couples getting together trying to chage tbe other. Nobody has any business doing that

[Asker]

@beaves11 when did she say that?

[DishLady]

Are we entertaining trolls today?

[kylee2437]

I don’t think it’s entitlement as much as it is , people fall for potential of a person, and then that person doesn’t end up being who you thought they were. And now that social media paints people as perfect in most cases, people dating potential is even worse because we assume someone is perfect based on their posts

[Asker]

That is true. Nobody is perfect. We all humans are imperfect. Some imperfections are deal breakers. But most people want to be accepted for their own flaws but don’t accept the flaws of someone else.

Men and women…. Equally.

[Asker]

Social media for sure and before social media. Hollywood.

[kylee2437]

And I will definitely agree! Nobody is perfect, that’s how why communication is extremely important while dating because imperfections and trying to understand someone’s imperfections calls for that.

[Asker]

Yes absolutely some people expect the other person to be able to read their mind. Then end up angry and upset. Over sometjint when speaking English could have solved the problem

[Ladsin2]

I’m not sure that’s true. Most folks I know seem to have no standards guys and gals. I’ll give an example of each.
1.) buddy of mine is the breadwinner in his home and provides his wife enough to be able to stay at home. When he comes home however she has not cooked, cleaned, has the babies sitting in front of the TV, and he’s lucky if she puts out. This seems to be a pretty frequent phenomena with the men I talk to.

2.) I was out drinking with a buddy and his girlfriend. They seem to get along pretty well, but she’s upset because he doesn’t take her out to do things more frequently and isn’t very adventurous. She’s arguing that he should take her on a date night once a month and he’s arguing that’s too much. I contest that date night should be once a week. She likes dancing and there’s a local class on Wednesday’s they could go to for ~$20/month and have a drink or two at the bar. She loved the idea, my buddy was about to murder me.

I think people hide behind “high standards” as an excuse for why their single. Ie me

[Anonymous]

Dating is optional, therefore, yes you can have whatever standard you want. Most people don’t date with real standards and that’s why they end up with shitty partners.

If they feel they can find someone better, what’s the issue? Let them. you're wasting your own time trying to convince someone to settle for you. If they end up lonely, that’s their thing, too. I’d rather end something with someone I didn’t fully like than to stay with them and be unhappy the entire time. It’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to me. As I said before, dating is not mandatory it’s optional so just like you have the option to pick whatever grocery store you want to if you don’t like a specific one, you have the option to pick a different partner too.

[Asker]

That’s the exact point I want to make. Don’t try to chage people. Find who makes you happy. At the same time if someone has unrealistic standards and they end up bitter with the opposite sex. That’s their own problem most of the time.

People shouldn’t be trying to chage one another. We are all different looking for different things and absolutely there is a time tk move on. Stop wasting your time and stop wasting the other perosns time. Because most people will be happy when they find someone they are truly happy with

[236color]

Anyone who thinks they are entitled to someone else is wrong. In men it seems like the guys with high standards are generally incels and their "standards" are a cover for failure. In women the "high standards" girls, seem to be shopping for a lifestyle, not a man.

[Asker]

These are the kind of women to become stay at home moms. Then bitch about how hard their life is. Until they’re a single mom working 2 jobs just to make ends meet

[just_a_potato]

Because people are selfish and believe that they deserve romantic attention, so if they don't get it, it must be the other people's fault!

[Asker]

That’s true and narcissists are great at this. They feel like everyone owes them something but they don’t owe anyone else anything

[Asker]

For them it’s all about themselves. Some maybe just don’t care about others. Others I think enjoy hurting people

[beaves11]

I think you’re implying too much here. YOU HAVE to find them good looking and attractive etc. go until one says yes.

[Asker]

You do…. But people feel entitled to someone. As someone else said it’s like ordering a Mercedes’ to some people

[FarmBoy13]

Totally agree 👍

I’ve shot down girls and have been shot down by girls. There are certain people that have extremely low standards, which is a pulse and working genitalia. These people have issues understanding that not everyone else has the same lack of standards……. These types of people have the most issues being shot down, they get the most upset. In fact the higher your standards the better you are at handing rejection

[LiamJHayden]

Participation Trophy Modern Society.