Is there any value in my first relationship if I was a placeholder?

[Anonymous]

So I know people value dating experience but my first girlfriend was a few years ago when I was 29 and I can’t help but think maybe it doesn’t count cause I was a placeholder

[Oliverlogan263]

I know being a placeholder must feel crappy man, but try not to totally discredit that relationship experience. Even if it wasn't totally real on her end, YOU still gained some worthwhile stuff from it.

A few things - You learned more about what you want and don't want in a partner. Even placeholder relationships give you a chance to practice communication, intimacy skills, etc. You figured out more about yourself too.

It also boosted your confidence to land that first girlfriend - don't underestimate how important that can be. Now you know you've "got it" to attract girls.

And truth is, a lot of early relationships in our late 20s aren't super serious. People are still figuring themselves out. So don't be too hard on yourself or her.

I'd say try to focus on the personal growth you got from it. That way it wasn't a total waste, you know? Don't let one so-so relationship ruin your view of dating either. You've got this next time bro!