Guys, Should I break up with him?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend tends to follow a lot of very fit and big busted blonde and blue eye girls. Even at times virtual girls on instagram. I am brunette and a shade of haze eyes and I am not fit at all (but working on myself to change that). I feel comparison is eating me up. I’ve always wanted to be with a guy who sees me as his “dream girl”. Not a second choice. He says I’m “pretty” and “beautiful” and has never compared me. I just don’t feel good enough. Should I just let this go or is this more of a sign that he may still be looking for his “dream girl”.

[meepmeeperton]

Ultimately guys don’t really care in the way you’re thinking, they find a lot of things about women attractive and don’t really think of their girlfriend in that moment.

I say it’s still better to respect your girlfriend and not look at that stuff, but at the end of the day I can pretty much guarantee he’s not actually comparing them to you at all.

If you talk to him about how you feel he may genuinely not have realized it would make you feel bad about yourself and he may feel bad for his actions and change.

[Avicenna]

Guys are attracted to more than one narrow set of dimensions and physical features. How has your relationship been? Is this the only thing that he's done to worry you?

[Asker]

He commented on a girl’s bikini photo on twitter with a “🫦 A1” and had commented on other photos before. I told him how it made me feel and he told me he would stop commenting on girls photos. He has so far. I just don’t feel enough because while I may have a pretty face (he often tells me I’m beautiful) my body is not beautiful. I’m not fit. He tells me he loves me and I often tell him that if he isn’t happy then he go with another girl. He tells me they “wouldn’t have my personality”…

[Asker]

Otherwise the relationship has been good. He has never compared me to other women or mentioned other women.

[Avicenna]

You really should never suggest that your boyfriend leave you, and it sounds like he does love you. It sounds like you need to improve your self-esteem.

[Billlewis]

Have you discussed this with him previously?

[Asker]

I have. He just tells me he loves me. I know these feelings are rooted in some insecurities and past traumas. Part of it is all I want to make him completely happy.

[Billlewis]

Another thing you can do is tell him that since he's so interested in his online people, he can go to them for sexual relief, because you're not going to let him have sex with you for a while, until his behavior improves.

[Asker]

I mean we do have sex almost every day. I usually want to go for multiple rounds. Not to be TMI but I do give him very intense orgasms. I just don’t feel completely comfortable in my body because I’m a heavier girl. He says he does not see me as a “fat girl”. I just wish I had the perfect body for him. I am trying to change that but it’s not an overnight thing. I feel if I was fit I guess he may not look at other girls online.

[Billlewis]

So, in other words, you're basically perfect, or very close to it. Excellent;)

[Asker]

If only…I don’t need to be perfect to anyone. I just want to be with him because I very much am in love with him. He’s the only second guy I’ve loved and I didn’t feel this way even with the first guy.

[Iron_Man]

The best thing to do is tell him to put a stop to it and have a serious conversation before you just throw in the towel all of a sudden because then you will regret it later

[Asker]

But I don’t want to control him. I wish he wanted to stop on his own…

[Iron_Man]

Well, he’s not stopping on his own so you’re gonna have to talk about it

[Asker]

And if he doesn’t stop?

[Iron_Man]

Then after you talk to him, then you have to make a decision what you’re going to do

[Asker]

I sometimes wish social media didn’t exist…

Thank you.

[Iron_Man]

You’re very welcome good luck but if he’s this bad or he won’t stop, he probably would’ve found another way if there was no social media

[In_Trance]

Yeah