What is the progression of a relationship with a girl who has come from trauma but doesn’t get therapy?

[Anonymous]

So her parents constantly fought and beat on each other her father was addicted to drugs and she lost him in 2010 her mother is still a heavy alcoholic every relationship she has been in there has been fighting. The girl came from a previous relationship where the guy would pressure or manipulate her into sexual situations.

Updates

1 y

Appreciate any insight

[DishLady]

If she's aware of the problems and understands the difference between a normal and an abusive relationship she should be able to carry on in her own relationship without exhibiting the abusive tendencies. (Way too many people fall back in the excuse that they were abused and so that's all they know... But that's really not a valid excuse because even an abused person has seen others function in the world. It's up to each individual to CHOOSE a moral and loving path, to accept love and kindness in their lives, to show compassion to others, etc. etc. etc.)

[Asker]

Yeah she would physically and verbally abuse me and our dog and the common theme is she would never take accountability it was always either something I did or something the dog did

[DishLady]

In that case, she needs therapy and simply isn't ready to be in a relationship. She needs to do some work on herself first.

[Asker]

Well the thing was it constantly continued and then my mental health suffered because she was abusing me and the dog and everyone was taking her side instead of holding her accountable like she could do whatever she wanted and they were still taking her side I was completely villainized at the end of the relationship

[DishLady]

Yeah, of course. I hear you. Have you also been able to talk to anyone about what happened? A few sessions of therapy are helpful in getting a person to recalibrate after experiencing toxicity at that level.

[DishLady]

Also, to avoid such relationships in the future, hold out for the red flags to come up. DM me if you'd like to discuss further. :)

[Anonymous]

Didn't you just post this?