My boyfriend ghosted me?

[Jenny265]

I think I may have been ghosted by my boyfriend. I met him last summer and we became boyfriend and girlfriend in November 2023. It was unfortunate that he had a work related injury which caused him to get numerous surgeries and I've stuck by his side ever since. He's been out of work which frustrated him.. he always told me he was never able to do things with me because of his injury and that other people would just leave him because they wanted to have fun. I tried to make things work and his financial situation was also not so great because of workers comp screwing him over. I haven't seen him in over a month because long story short his grandmother passed away back in May and he's had to help sell her home since he was renting it out and agreed with her he would live there because she wanted that. I know he's been dealing with a lot with surgeries and such but I haven't heard anything from him for 2 weeks. The last time we texted his responses were short saying he was on his way to see this doctor or ill ttyl and blah blah. But I didn't hear anything. I tried reaching out last Tuesday and nothing. He won't respond to me saying I missed seeing him and talking to him. My one guy friend said he's not ghosting on purpose but that he's stressed. I feel like he would have reached out by now to at least communicate. I'm tired of waiting around and feel like I should just walk away. Other people tell me he's a narcissist. He has gone silent before this when I made him upset during an argument

[ohsheeT]

Well you have to love yourself first number one.. . If a guy wants you he's going to go after you he's going to get you.
if he doesn't want to be around you. For whatever reasons he won't be.

It sounds like to me you have a good heart and you've done your best and you've been there for him. And that's all you can do

Most guys would truly appreciate that and would be in contact with you each and every day just because of that because you care and you proved it.

You can't make somebody love you... And you truly she's welcome that because he should be able to prove it that's what loves all about anyway..

I honestly think you're going to dodge a bullet if you walk away if he wants you he'll come looking for you he'll call you.
And he could be too late.
But you can't stop living life waiting for somebody that might not even be able to find themselves at the moment.

I think truly down in your heart you know what you have to do

Whether it's friendship whether it's love it can't be one-sided it has to be both parties are in it together

But you've been there for him I think you should probably walk away and let him prove to you now that he wants to be with you

But at the same time this choice is all up to you on what you want who you are and how you want to be treated. Because walking away will show him that you're strong person independent person.

And no matter how many surgeries he's had he needs to find himself in that same manner.

Because when a person says he's never going to be the same or never be able to have fun that means they're just giving up already and you're just starting life and when you want something you have to fight for it you can't tell your brain one thing and it not happen so your choice is your choice I think you're going to make the right one no matter what you do

[Finchie40]

Walk away , whatever his reasons maybe is his problem not yours , when a guy really likes a girl he makes her his priority , he doesn’t go weeks at a time not communicating with her or not seeing her. So you are best to move on and find yourself a guy that makes you his priority , never be a convenience to anyone

[Jenny265]

Thank you. Other people are telling me he's just overwhelmed and stressed and I should wait and if I don't I am guilty. But I haven't reached out to him and he hasn't responded at all or even given me any reason why he just stopped talking to me. I would think 2 weeks is a lot to not be communicating

[Finchie40]

Yea don’t make excuses for his actions , he clearly isn’t choosing you , if he was choosing you , he would have responded and been checking in on you , whether he is depressed or whatever. When someone is depressed they don’t push their loved ones away without an explanation, so don’t fall for that shit , when I am depressed I still communicate with my loved ones to let them know I still care about them. So don’t blame yourself for his actions , you put the ball in his court and he is choosing not to throw it back to you , so I wouldn’t wait for any girl that did that to me whatsoever. She had her chance and she blew it , she proved to me that I am not that important to her , Understand you are not his convenience, to me you sound like a great girlfriend , so if he truly loved you and valued you he would be making an effort to contact you back. So my advice to you is just move on and do what makes you happy , if he ever decides to contact you , he better have a valid reason as to why he disappeared like that , and you don’t need to accept his apology if you choose not to. Cuz he dug his own grave on this one , and it’s his job to get out of the grave if he wants you by his side. Don’t ever be a convenience to anyone , you deserve better than that shit. The only valid reason he has at this point is if he was in a coma , then that would be a valid reason other than that , tell him to shove it

[Jenny265]

Ok thanks that's what I have been thinking. I can sit here and wait around for him but I don't know if he'll even reach out ever again. It's just a waiting game. I've been by his side ever since even when his grandmother passed. I don't know what I did wrong.

[Finchie40]

You didn’t do anything wrong , like I said you are a good girlfriend and you deserve better than that shit , You can only give to someone that does the same for you in return , He is only caring about himself and what he feels is best for himself , so don’t waste your time on someone that is t giving back the same or equivalent in return , he has no say over what you choose to do anymore. If he cared about you he would have responded. Life is too short to wait around for someone to make up their mind. Find yourself a guy that prioritizes you the same way you prioritize him , You will be much happier trust me

[Finchie40]

Someone that cares about you and appreciates you and values you will not make you wait around , they will prioritize you the same way you do for them they will wear your shoes the same way you wear theirs. People that stay on relationships that are one sided are sadly wasting their time and missing out on true love , thinking that person is going to change their mind? They aren’t going to change shit , they just like the convenience of you. And the other thing is just because you care about someone and have feelings for someone , doesn’t mean you have to stay with that someone because if they really wanted you by their side? It wouldn’t even be a question? Don’t change who you are as a person , you deserve way better than that shit trust me

[Jenny265]

Thank you for your input. I appreciate it. I always try to be a good person especially to someone I love and care about and it makes sense that maybe it sounds like he doesn't want a relationship and this is his way out unfortunately I don't know

[Finchie40]

Whatever his reason maybe? It’s no longer your problem

[osmanthus]

It's possible he'a too overwhelmed with all these life stressors to communicate. Stress that is prolonged can make people despondent or isolated in order to conserve whatever energy they have to recover. If he is holding in stress then likely he will implode, unless he finds his own mental and physical space he can retreat to. I think it's safe to say that your boyfriend is having to go through a lot, right now, and I might suggest you consider doing your own thing and putting the phone down. He'll get back to you when he will and 2 weeks is nothing. Maybe wait a few months before checking up on him again. In the meantime, you can text him, "Hey, still worried about you. Get well soon." Leave it at that.

[Jenny265]

2 months? Thats too long to go no communication. How is that healthy? He's 44 years old he should be able to communicate regardless if he's having a rough time in life. Why make someone wait that long

[Jenny265]

Please. Thats not all I want to do. I've tried reaching out to him and I get no response. I guess you don't understand what healthy communication is. If he told me from the beginning he wanted space then fine but he decided to take the high road and ignore all my messages and phone calls so I'm not reaching out anymore. What do you propose will happen if nobody reaches out? The relationship will disintegrate into nothing.

[osmanthus]

Well, if he's treating you that way then why stay? You wrote this out for yourself, or do you want to continue whining about it to whoever might give a damn? Maybe he doesn't want your whiney ass anymore.

[Jenny265]

Wow. So you must be one of those people who gets angry when someone doesn't agree with your opinion! Stop being a bitch. I did nothing to you.

[noohair]

You might think he was your boyfriend, but he seems to not care about you enough to treat you like a girlfriend.

[eagle1951]

damn that sucks