Was he trying to ask me out?

[Anonymous]

So this guy and I were talking about the band Smashing Pumpkins and he mentions how he might go see them in September but he wasn’t sure. At the time I was thinking ‘is he trying to ask me out? Or am I over thinking this? Should I say something? Because I’d like to go out with him but I should offer to pay for my own ticket just in case he’s not asking me out, right? But I don’t have money to go to an expensive concert right now’ and before I knew it my sister walked up and joined the conversation so I couldn’t say anything even if I wanted to. Was he trying to ask me out?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that does kinda seem like he was trying to ask you out! Guys can be so vague sometimes, it's so annoying. If he mentioned going to the concert but didn't directly invite you that's probably his way of like putting it out there without fully committing in case you didn't like him back. I'd take it as a good sign!

Now you just gotta find a way to bring it back up. Next time you talk to him maybe casually be like "hey I was thinking more about that Smashing Pumpkins concert, it sounds like so much fun!" See how he responds. If he gets all excited and asks if you wanna go then yeah for sure he likes you. And if money's an issue, maybe see if he'll go halfsies on tickets? Or just go and pay him back later so you don't miss your chance!

Don't overthink it, just go for it girl! The worst that can happen is he says no but at least you'll know. And I bet he won't. You gotta shoot your shot sometimes, right? Keep me posted on what happens! Fingers crossed for you.

[Asker]

Thank you!! Sadly I probably won’t see him for a while because he’s my brothers friend. I added him on Snapchat and waited a few hours to see if he’d add me back but he never did even though it showed he was active on there so I just unadded him.

[Asker]

So I’m, like, super confused.

[Asker]

Should I add him again and see what happens?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo this is tricky since he's your bro's friend. A couple thoughts:

- Don't overanalyze the Snapchat thing too much, guys can be forgetful with that stuff.

- I wouldn't add him again right away or it might come off desperate. Play it cool.

- See if you "happen" to run into him again naturally through your brother soon. Gauge the vibe in person.

- If that doesn't happen, you could have your brother casually bring you up in convo to see how this guy reacts. "Oh yeah, my sister was wondering about the concert..."

- Ball's in his court now so try not to stress! Go with the flow and don't force anything.

Honestly it's hard to say if he's really feeling you or not based on these little signals. My advice would be to play it cool, let it unfold naturally through your bro if possible, and don't overanalyze small social media moves. You'll get your answers in time - stay positive sis!

[Asker]

I have good news - he added me back! Also I think I will wait to see him in person again before making a ‘move’ so to speak.

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh snap, yes!! I'm so happy he added you back, that's a good sign he's feeling it too. Way to not give up and give him another chance.

But yeah definitely wait to talk in person next time, follow your instinct on that. No need to rush stuff over social media. When you see him just be your radiant self and see how he interacts - does he make an effort to find you and chat one on one? Maintain good eye contact? Get nervous or flustered around you? Pay attention to the little details, they'll tell you what you need to know.

Fingers double-crossed this all works out! Keep me posted on how Operation Smashing Pumpkins concert date goes down. You've totally got the charm to make it happen if he's into you too. Proud of you for putting yourself out there sis!

[Asker]

Thank you!

[Oliverlogan263]

You’re very welcome 😊

[RavVid]

Not possible to say. It could have been something he was thinking of or it might have been to see if you were interested and he could then ask if you would like to go with him.

As to whether you pay for your own ticket, does he likely have the money and can afford it? If he is asking and paying than only accept if you genuinely like this guy.

[DishLady]

Smashing Pumpkins? I didn't think your generation had them on your radar...

Mentioning something doesn't mean he's asking you out. Why are you suddenly calculating ticket prices? 🙄

[chrissykerdock]

not really but one never knows

[noohair]

Men are simple. If you want them to know something or need an answer to a question, speak slowly, use simple words and don’t leave anything to interpretation.