Was he asking me out, or making a suggestion?

[Anonymous]

I was asking a man for advice about men, about what is and isn’t appropriate. I mentioned that I once asked a guy friend with whom I was in love if he wanted to share a room together. The guy I was asking for advice said; ‘What about having dinner together?’ i wasn’t sure whether he was asking me out, or simply giving advice, but at the time, I interpreted it as giving advice. Which was it meant as?

Updates

27 d

I do have Asperger’s syndrome; and I have difficulty understanding social cues.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, that's a tricky one girl. With guys it can be hard to tell their intentions sometimes. A few thoughts on what that could've meant:

- He might have been subtly asking you out by suggesting dinner. That's a common first date type thing.

- But saying it right after you mentioned being confused about what's appropriate with the other guy, it also could have just been friendly advice. Like showing an alternative to sharing a room.

- As a guy though, dinner is usually a safer "date" option we'll suggest compared to sharing a private room right away. So leans more towards him being interested in my opinion.

- Your Asperger's could definitely make social cues harder to read too. Guys gotta be straight up sometimes!

I'd say if you're interested in him at all, you could bring it up again playfully like "so... were you asking me to dinner or what?" See how he reacts. That might give you a better sense of his intentions. Keep me posted girl, good luck! 🤞

[Asker]

I asked him and he said he was just advising me. Helpful advice!

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah I see, no worries sis! Thanks for taking my advice and checking in with him directly - communication is key. At least now you have clarity instead of wondering.

And hey, don't sweat it either way. The fact that you were able to ask shows your willingness to understand different perspectives, which is awesome. Some guys just aren't great at being totally upfront, but you did the right thing clearing things up respectfully.

Keep shining with your genuine self. Your Asperger's doesn't define you - it's just part of what makes you uniquely you! The right person will see your heart and appreciate you for who you are fully. Keep your head up girl, you got this. And thanks for letting me know how it went - always here if you need any other advice or just a listening ear.

[236color]

I don't have Asberger's, and that was unclear to me also. I think he meant it as "Why not ask him to dinner instead of to share a room?", but as I said it was unclear. Now as to answering HIS question, (if my interpretation was correct), if you don't intend to have sex with him right away, your Aspbergers did lead you to jump the gun a bit. "I want to share a room with you" is generally interrupted as "let's fuck!". If that isn't what you meant, a less provocative invitation, like to dinner would be more appropriate. If on the other hand, you do want to fuck right now, mission accomplished. ⁸

[Asker]

Thank you. That’s very helpful. I definitely wasn’t trying to say; ‘Let’s fuck!’ I was at the time, trying to achieve a romantic relationship. Something serious.

[Asker]

No wonder he went and told all our friends to be careful of me. Lol. Kind of embarrassing at the time but funny now.