What do you rate yourself from 1-10 and how attractive from 1-10 should a person be for you to date them?

[marish01]

[DishLady]

You know? I’ve literally never calculated a guy that way, nor have I asked what guys “rated me.”


For myself, the few guys who voluntarily offered me a rating made me laugh bc clearly they just wanted in my pants. (SMH.) Never trust a perfect score… no one’s perfect. All I know is that if they’re still looking and approaching and willing to flatter… then I look ok to them. Done. Next question. Don’t break the calculator overthinking it.


For guys I like, I’m not into pretty boys at all, but I like a guy with a rugged look to him. I look for a guy whose character is 10/10, which includes how he visibly cares for and comports himself. (Again, nobody’s perfect. If I understand the guy’s tragic flaw and it’s not on my list of red flags I’m good.)

[IslaTheWitch]

I'm 8-9... :D

but I don't look at physical attractiveness... what is important to me is his mind... how smartass he is, how witty humor he has, how challenging he is... can he show me he cares without using words? can he make my mind excited?

[_piotr]

Bad for him. He will never feel physically desired. Terrible. I would not like to be in such relation. If a girl would tell me she don't care about physical attractiveness I would pass on her.

[idonotlikeyou]

@_piotr
As much as I don't like that witch, she's right, and you're an idiot. For the vast majority of women, deep feelings are necessary to desire a man. Trust and, ideally, love, or at least affection, are needed, and they have to be reciprocated. If those feelings are missing, a woman goes to bed with a man to satisfy herself or to prove something to someone, not because she desires him, no matter what he looks like. A man's appearance, unless he's a complete ugly shit, has little impact on a woman's desire. Of course, it can add to the overall attraction, but if his mind and emotions aren't where they should be, he certainly won't feel desired.

[_piotr]

@idonotlikeyou
"Trust and, ideally, love, or at least affection, are needed"
I did not say they are not needed. I was complaining about lack of second part - the physical part.
by the way. emotions are very fickle. While decent looks can last even till 80s or longer.

"A man's appearance, unless he's a complete ugly shit, has little impact on a woman's desire"
That is very, very sad and disappointing. It means she can not desire him as much as he desires her (both emotionally and physically).

"he certainly won't feel desired."
I would certainly NOT feel desired whatsoever if women told me she is not physically attracted to me.

"it can add to the overall attraction"
At least some consolation...

"you're an idiot"
How rude! Why? Because I want a woman that would desire me whole (100%), not only emotional part? I am not a ball of energy, I have body as well. If you despise it, then I am not happy.

[marish01]

@_piotr calling you idiot made me not take her seriously.
I can't stand people who call others names for no reason

[_piotr]

@marish01
Thanks!

[Lightning8]

@_piotr if I can add something, you said "emotions are very fickle". Well, physical desire is also an emotion. And you're right that it is indeed fickle. At least outside of orientation. Take for example the tiktok trend where woman talk about "icks". To illustrate, a couple is on a date, and the woman who is obviously attracted to the guy already, sees the guy later on during the date riding a bike in a goofy/awkward way. After seeing that, now she's got the "ick" and is unattracted to him. 20 yr marriage down the drain lol. It's little bit of a silly example but the point is that physical attraction can also be fickle. This is not the most sturdy foundation to hinge a family on. Many couples split up when someone gets very sick for this reason and that's what's what's very sad and nihilistic to me.

I feel like I am the "hopeless/hopeful romantic" type, but on many fronts I tend to be more of a realist, I think. And I think that because we're limited and human, we're going to have to contend with the idea that at some point or during some moment over a 20+ year marriage, a spouse may not find you so hot. Likewise for when they do find you hot.

"It means she cannot desire him as much as he desires her" Well, yeah probably not or at least not in the same way. Even visually, you would like different things about each other, meaning that there are different reasons why you even like each other. Men and women have different valence systems and different physiology. Women on average have lower sex drives than men on average, if I'm not mistaken. That's just part of the physiological and psychological difference between men and women. Men are more visually stimulated than women, hence most consumers of visual erotic content being men and most consumers of literary erotica being women. Differences between men and women are not just from the neck down, but from the neck up as well.

[_piotr]

@Lightning8
"physical desire is also an emotion."
Yes, that is wise remark, but I was talking more about about being physical attractive to to spouse, as a quality/attribute, which changes very, very slowly.

"physical attraction can also be fickle."
I rather disagree. When I find somebody beautiful, that does not change because somebody does something goofy. Even age can not erase that completely, just diminish a little. Once I find one's face attractive, I can find these beautiful contours even under wrinkles. And memories of past can help. If I do not find someone attractive now, I probably never will.

"at some point or during some moment over a 20+ year marriage, a spouse may not find you so hot."
Not AS hot, but I hope to be attractive to my spouse to a certain extent. Also, after so many years couples usually have their kids, libido drops and sex is not important/needed. This is how God smartly designed things to be. But even then, it doesn't mean it is not good to see your second half nicely looking.

[_piotr]

@Lightning8 "Many couples split up when someone gets very sick for this reason and that's what's what's very sad and nihilistic to me."
Yes, that is extremely sad. I believe that love is not emotion, but rather a kind of state that you declare to be together with spouse until death do them apart. As a christian/catholic, I do not accept divorces.
Such things as terrible sickness/accidents reduce attractiveness, but these are bad things, not indifferent or good.
If my wife would lose her attractiveness because of accident/illness I would definitely stay with her. Her physical attractiveness will drop, but love is not all about it. That is not good, but physical desire is just a part of love (without other parts it is just lust). Other parts will stay. And memories of her will make me find her behind any scars and deformations. That is still better than to marry someone I was not attracted to in a first place.

" Even visually, you would like different things about each other" I know, but that is not a problem.

-------------------------
I like the idea of representing a human as a novel with many volumes. Physical attractiveness is one of them. People like idonotlikeyou/IslaTheWitch ignore that part, thus they do not love/ appreciate me as a whole. Why would I like to be with someone like this, when I can find a girl who will love whole me?

[Lightning8]

@_piotr they can't love the whole you because they can't see the whole you. They can see your persona, observe your vibe, but not actually you. The flesh is a veil.

So you agree that physical attraction is an emotion, but this is a non fickle emotion because you can remember when you found them physically attractive and you don't believe in divorce? I understand a bit where you're coming from, but the point is, it would seem like you lost the whole reason for your marriage at that point. You don't actually love them anymore, but only who or what they once were. You're married, but even though you say love is a declaration to be together until death do part, you find yourself in a marraige contract with someone you don't currently find desirable. I think what people are saying is that it shouldn't take such misfortune for people to see that in one another.

Christ died because we need a Savior. If what the body finds pleasurable is what we should seek, we probably wouldn't even need to know that there is such a thing as sin, other than because of our ability to choose things we may not find pleasurable. And who would we be to say that hedonism probably is not the right path for people to take? Just because the body/flesh likes something doesn't mean it's right. God wants us to be spiritual, not carnal/fleshly. That's why we need a Savior.

Romans 8:5-8
5 For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.

6 For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.

8 So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.

What do you think pleases God, that people love their spouse due to:
A) their spouse's looks/race
B) their spouse being made in the likeness and image of God

[Lightning8]

I could be mistaken to say that a spouse can't love the whole you, but I was talking about loving the whole you in the carnal, fleshly sense. They can love you wholly in a spiritual sense within Christ. This doesn't mean mean that they have to pay so much attention to whether you're physically attractive or inspire lust. It's love beyond that. And if people spend enough time together (in good faith towards one another) you would be surprised how many people get along well who would otherwise find each other "unattractive". God made us this way too.

[Lightning8]

@_piotr Sorry, have to clarify something - *I think what people are saying is that it shouldn't take such misfortune for people to see that- [ : a goodness in someone and a reason to build life and even family with them even without physical beauty but for spiritual gain or growth] in one another*

Especially as a follower of Christ, it makes sense to be particular about whether a spouse follows Christ. Outside of that, the short and sweet is that men and women should be together because they are made in the likeness and image of God, and together they can birth and raise children, recreating an image of the Father, the Word, and the Holy Spirit on Earth. Caring so much about attractiveness puts the cart before the horse at best and is vain or carnal minded at worst and gets in the way of the real beauty of unions between men and women.

[_piotr]

@Lightning8 "This doesn't mean that they have to pay so much attention to whether you're physically."
Yes. But it is a lot better when they find themselves attractive. Why would I like to be with someone who loves me only emotionally, when I can find a girl who will love me emotionally and physically?
Second option is just better. Bond is stronger.

"Caring so much about attractiveness" - I do not think I want THAT MUCH if I just want me and my wife to be attractive for each other. I would say this is basic.

I also do not agree on vain that much. I know many christians are enemy of aesthetics, but I am not. Perhaps some excessive care might be a sin, but beauty and aesthetics of clothing, body, artwork, music, landscape is not all vain in this world, it brings joy to harts and minds. God is also a source of everything beautiful. I do not think He is the enemy of aesthetics. Thing of Mozart, Leonardo da Vinci, they produced beauty and I would argue that although I could live in an ugly world, I am non the less happy and thankful that their works exists. They were not created in vain. Similarly I feel better if someone dresses nicely and tastefully if he/she can, rather than parade in some ugly ripped jeans. It is also a matter of respect to others.

[_piotr]

Additionally, God made it natural, that we are attracted to beauty. It is unnatural to seek ugliness.

[Lightning8]

@_piotr the problem is, for example, "passing" on Christ in front of you for Mozart's work. God isn't an enemy of beauty and neither are many Christians. But God doesn't want us to worship it and elevate it above the Spirit or His Purpose. Worshipping and idolizing beauty to the point that you reject what or who you consider less than beautiful (in a carnal sense) but is nonetheless following Christ, isn't good.

[Lightning8]

@_piotr appreciating it is okay. Worshipping it is not.

"Second option is better. Bond is stronger" qI do understand where you're coming from, but at the same time I'm not sure about that. Dying for a friend is dying for a friend

Why would I like to be with someone who only loves me emotionally"

Again, physical desire is also an emotion. If she loves you emotionally, it can manifest physically. Emotions precede actions

[Lightning8]

Well, if we do worship physical beauty, then we may as well consider God, and His begotten, enemies of it; because it is an idol to us. The Devil was the most beautiful angel in Heaven.

[_piotr]

@Lightning8 "you reject what or who you consider less than beautiful"
Reject as a friend as, brother or sister in faith? Yes. I agree. That is bad.

But for marriage? I do not see a problem with that. Why do you want to force it on people? God is not totalitarian. Forced or arranged marriages are seldom good. It is better for that person us to find ourselves partners that find us attractive and which we find attractive than to be in a marriage by force and pretend everything is ok. Your option is the worst. It leads to lying, jealousy, unhappiness and fuels adultery, resentment for both sides. Rejecting somebody for marriage is not sin, it is a preference and act of prudence. And it does not matter if for beauty, character, for health reason, for age, ability to have children or other. Getting married with a certain person is voluntary not compulsory.

If I do not find a fitting person. It is far better for me to live in celibate to the end of my life than to marry someone I am not ok with. ("To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am." <-- BILBLE)

"you reject what" - Sorry, I do not see in problem rejecting inanimate things that are not adequate to my standards. I am not sinning by rejecting to buy food in a restaurant that cooks poorly. You can attack me about worshipping good taste, but I won't't change my mind about it. This point here is really absurd.

[Lightning8]

@_piotr "Additionally, God made it natural, that we are attracted to beauty. It is unnatural to seek ugliness." What did we just learn about carnality? Why do you think it is hard for a rich man to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven? Why would God use the weak to confound the strong? He is above the desires of the world, specifically of the flesh. It doesn't mean we should try to be ugly, nor does it mean we should reject the beautiful in worship of the ugly. But we should see the spiritual beauty and righteousness of God in others and in ourselves regardless. We can appreciate physical beauty if we see it and it, and physical beauty or physical ugliness can catch our attention, but that should try to not let that be the actual grounds for love or rejection. Our bodies will feel the way they feel, but Godliness, while able to manifest in the flesh, is at heart beyond the flesh and is spiritual.

[Lightning8]

*We can appreciate physical beauty if we see it...*
*... but we should try not to let...*

[Vegasrunner]

@_piotr Most women don't care about physical attractiveness in men. Men are judged on the value they create for the world.

[_piotr]

@Lightning8 I stand with what I wrote:

"you reject what or who you consider less than beautiful"
Reject as a friend as, brother or sister in faith? Yes. I agree. That is bad.

But for marriage? I do not see a problem with that. Why do you want to force it on people? God is not totalitarian. Forced or arranged marriages are seldom good. It is better for that person us to find ourselves partners that find us attractive and which we find attractive than to be in a marriage by force and pretend everything is ok. Your option is the worst. It leads to lying, jealousy, unhappiness and fuels adultery, resentment for both sides. Rejecting somebody for marriage is not sin, it is a preference and act of prudence. And it does not matter if for beauty, character, for health reason, for age, ability to have children or other. Getting married with a certain person is voluntary not compulsory.

[_piotr]

@Lightning8
"What did we just learn about carnality? "
That it is integral part of us, and even in the end of times we will be raised with our bodies. We are not energy balls.

"Why do you think it is hard for a rich man to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven?"
It is not impossible. In fact wealth is a sign of Lord's blessing in Old Testament.

Married people also have harder to go to Kingdom of Heaven.
"The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided."
That does not men one should not marry.

[Lightning8]

@_piotr arranged marriages have probably been some of the most successful ones historically within human civilization. I'm speaking of soft arranged marriages though to be fair where the family approves the spouse. Not like literally where a person is bought. And I'm not saying that rejecting in and of itself is absolutely sinful, but that if you do reject someone of God, it might not be a good sign.

You can reject spiritual food and that would not be to your benefit, nor is it prudence but enmity against God. His children accept correction. Not saying that this is what we're doing here but I'm speaking generally.

In 1st Corinthians 7, what's being spoken about is devotion to God and how to navigate the ways sexuality can interfere with that. It says you will face problems and that's regardless of how attractive someone you marry is. It doesn't mean to look for who you lust after the most. In fact, it's said that it's better to not look for a spouse. But because of human limitations, from the sounds of it as far back as perhaps Adam, in 1st Corinthians 7 there is a concession that each man should have a wife and each woman should have a husband, and that they should go to one another lest Satan tempt them with sexual immorality. This doesn't mean for people to get married to live out their lusts, but that marriage can help quench the lust in you so that you can focus on God. And it doesn't say you have to prioritize physical attractiveness in order for it work or help.

[Lightning8]

@_piotr the bible says we shall be changed, actually. Otherwise wouldn't there be marriages, eating, and drinking in Heaven? Maybe that verse you mentioned means we'll be animated again

Adultry is committed just by lusting in one's heart. But if you already have a spouse, you have less to be curious about even regarding those who you might otherwise find more attractive.

You didn't answer the question of why it's hard for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. You don't have to answer it here and now but you should think a lot about that

[Lightning8]

Well correction, I probably shouldn't say use the word successful for soft arranged marriages but that when done right they are at least proper and functional and in good faith they often are loving. I would not talk down on someone's marriage just because their family helped them get together with their spouse.

[Lightning8]

Just saying that arranged CAN be just as valid and helpful as non arranged

[_piotr]

@Lightning8
Arranged marriages are better that what you are proposing: marrying any random free person, who is christian. What you offer is playing a random bingo game with your and someones life. You mean well, but that is a recipe for failure. Good match in marriage is important.

"I'm not saying that rejecting in and of itself is absolutely sinful"
Thank you!

"nor is it prudence but enmity against God."
I was speaking about marrying badly matched partner, not some "spiritual food".
Declining to marry a badly matched partner is PRUDENT, because how can you lie at altar and promise love to that person if you do won't want to be with her/him? How can you spoil your and that other person life and possibly your children's? I would say this is a sin!

Rejection of someone is not a sin nor enmity to God! God nowhere orders to compulsory marry people you do not want to marry! Marrying is optional and I can reject people. For example, I do not want illiterate wife. Will you accuse me of worshipping written word? Or lusting for books? That is ridiculous.

I can love other people as brothers and sisters in faith, but you can't compell me to have sex with someone I do not want to! That is disgusting!

"But if you already have a spouse,". If I am not attracted to my spouse I will be more prone to lust after other women, resent my wife, be jealous of other happy marriages. That is why I should marry women I am happy with.

[_piotr]

Additionally to what I wrote above, read Song of Songs in Bible. Physical desire is a part of love. Only unordained desire outside of marriage is lust. Bodies are also creations of God. They are not evil. Physical attractiveness in marriage is important and can be beautiful:

THIS IS FROM THE BIBLE:
About her:
You are as beautiful as Tirzah, my darling,
as lovely as Jerusalem,
as majestic as troops with banners.
Your hair is like a flock of goats
descending from Gilead.
Your teeth are like a flock of sheep
coming up from the washing.
Each has its twin,
not one of them is missing.
Your temples behind your veil
are like the halves of a pomegranate.

About Him:
My beloved is radiant and ruddy,
outstanding among ten thousand.
His head is purest gold;
his hair is wavy
and black as a raven.
His eyes are like doves
by the water streams,
washed in milk,
mounted like jewels.
His cheeks are like beds of spice
yielding perfume.
His lips are like lilies
dripping with myrrh.
His arms are rods of gold
set with topaz.
His body is like polished ivory
decorated with lapis lazuli.
His legs are pillars of marble
set on bases of pure gold.
His appearance is like Lebanon,
choice as its cedars.
His mouth is sweetness itself;
he is altogether lovely.

[_piotr]

Also Proverbs 5:
May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19 A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be intoxicated with her love.

[Lightning8]

@_piotr why would you be jealous of other marriages and lustful towards women while you have a caring wife, but not when you're single? So then why wouldn't you lust after other women or be jealous of other marriages should any misfortune happen to the beauty of a hypothetical supermodel bride you marry? Wouldn't marriage be hurting your case, seeing as it would show that you didn't allow your marriage to bring you closer to God, but closer to someone's flesh instead? Direct though this is, this doesn't sound like getting married to focus on God which 1st Corinthians 7 suggests, but to worship someone's body. It says many times in the bible not to worship the flesh. This includes marriage. This even includes the self.

Furthermore, isn't there already rampant jealousy, envy and infidelity while people today share your focus on physical attractiveness? Wasn't that part of the very reason western society separated sex and marriage, because they coveted what others had despite marrying someone through physical attraction? Arguably, being overly focused on acquiring or rejecting others based on carnality at scale has made people lovers of themselves even more, not lovers of God. If anything, it seems like it would come from a place of being self serving.

[Lightning8]

@_piotr Rejecting people can be sinful depending on the reason. Nowhere in the bible does it say you should reject people based on physical looks. But if you worship looks and someone doesn't have much of that, the sin already happened before you ultimately reject the person.

You can promise to love someone without being overwhelmed with lust. It doesn't sound like the verses you quoted say that this is what marriages must be or else it's wrong. One hasn't sinned if that's how one feels about their spouse, but looking for that exclusively may not be in the spirit of seeking God. It may just be self indulgence. Like planning to commit sin in one's heart, knowing that one can bring an offering to the altar of sin sacrifice to cover for it. The sin here would be idol worship or worshipping the flesh, and getting married to avoid adultry or fornication. Beauty is temporary like a flower. It doesn't mean a woman without much of it would be a bad mother or barren. If a woman who would make a good mother is a bad match because she's not among the most beautiful of women, I am not confident that such an attitude is helpful in a world where people are more than ever lovers of themselves and lovers of pleasures more than God

[Lightning8]

@_piotr attraction is good. It's not bad. But we should be suspicious of our hearts to look for what from this fallen world have we've internalized and are projecting onto others that we would consider even Godly people made in the likeness and image of God to be "ugly" or "unattractive". Attraction can be built in good faith.

[_piotr]

@Lightning8
"misfortune happen to the beauty of a hypothetical supermodel bride you marry?"
1. I did not not say anything about "supermodel bride" or "most beautiful of women". I merly said I need a women that I am attracted to physically. This is manipulation. You have only extremes?
2. Nothing would happen. I would stay with her. The same if I she lost faith or turned out to be bad mother. This is totally different.

"Wouldn't marriage be hurting your case," - Yes. That is, why to prevent this, I have list of requirements. So that me, and my partner would be happy. That is why physically attractivenes, intelligence, skills, smell, sound of voice, everything is important.

"Nowhere in the bible does it say you should reject people based on physical looks."
Nowhere it says it is forbidden.

"Godly people made in the likeness and image of God to be "ugly" or "unattractive"
No. Attraction and love of God do not go hand in hand. You can love God and still be ugly or unintelligent. Love of God is not connected to these.

"why would you be jealous of other marriages and lustful towards women while you have a caring wife, but not when you're single?" - Because I would be forced by you to marry someone I do not want to. This would link to depression, sin, suicide. That is why what you are saying is very dangerous. And you are a random person on internet that will not tak responsibility for that.

"worship looks and someone doesn't have much of that, the sin already happened before you ultimately reject the person.". Having a requirement does not make me worship anything. You are using here figures of speech and manipulation. It's like I want to go for a walk to the park, and someone would comment: You lust for walking. You worship park more than God, etc... It is just stupid approach beyond any measure.

[_piotr]

Also: rejection is very good. 1) Because it leaves me with most compatible partner. 2) Staying unmarried is better then married.

[_piotr]

Additionally I mentioned that I do not want illiterate women as wife. But you only dwell on physical attractivenes. Loving God itself doesn't make you automatically ideal for husband/wife, being a president, professor, president, and so on.

If you still thing physical attraction is unneeded garbage. Read This:
- www.catholicnewsagency.com/.../is-strong-attraction-necessary
- www.gotquestions.org/physical-attraction.html
- (should you date...) www.bryanstoudt.com/.../
- www.christianconnection.com/.../

Physical attraction is not the most important, but you should rather be attracted to your partner if you want to to expect long, good marriage.

[_piotr]

And once more, I did not say I want supermodel, I just need her to be attractive at least on basic level for me.

[_piotr]

This seem good and reasonable: www.catholicsingles.com/.../
"What is shallow is to assume immediately that you can’t be attracted to this person. The difference here is whether or not you are willing to give someone a shot when they don’t necessarily have your dream body.

So, say you meet a new date, and you realize instantly that they do not look like your ideal mate. But you decide not to be shallow about it and you carry on with getting to know them. And you discover that their personality actually meshes quite well with yours. The two of you both enjoy yourself. So you decide to give this person a shot, and the two of you have a few more dates.

One of two things will happen. Either that spark of attraction that you didn’t feel immediately will start to develop as you get to know the person, and you’ll be extremely glad you didn’t take the shallow route of walking away before giving it a go.

Or, despite having lots of fun and getting along great for a few dates, you realize that you’re still not at all physically attracted to this person. You might even wish you were, since the two of you seem so great together personality-wise. But the reality is that you just can’t force chemistry."

[_piotr]

That seems excessive, but is the most I can agree on.

[Lightning8]

@_piotr thanks for the latter good faith input. A good christian should be willing to deeply and earnestly examine their own heart. At least that's what I was trying to get at with my last comment or so. As for the earlier stuff you seemed to be going to extremes claiming that you are a victim or being forced despite saying I was going to extremes by using the example of a "hypothetical" "supermodel beauty" whose beauty you can "remember" in the case of misfortune, as an attempt to steelman your perspective.

I disagree with the earlier comments but I can agree on the last comment

I think rejection is probably putting someone at greater risk of those mental troubles you mentioned than if human beings were to be using the intelligence and wisdoms they have to negotiate happiness together instead of using a "purchasing power" approach. Unless we're talking about actual "forced marriage" where someone is basically sold off, then yeah that's different. But a man should be able to appreciate a caring wife if she is of relatively normal health, more than being alone. Just check to see if you have any weird views on beauty that get in the way of appreciating a caring wife. If you want to combat nihilism, it's probably helpful to not give others reason to be nihilistic. Rejection and loneliness are another one of those issues that cause people a lot of bad stress. We have a loneliness epidemic now, and while it's more than just about marriage, families too, however large or small, also come from marriages. There are so many unheard, lonely people, that feel like they are forced to live alone. Even with a wife that's "kinda ugly" or on the lower tier of the "universal attractiveness" scale, a man should still be able to see "the point". Because she is ultimately a woman and embodies femininity more than he can.

[Lightning8]

@_piotr but to be fair I know having these kinds of discussions can feel like force but no it's not it's just putting these ideas out there to be considered.

In good faith, men and women naturally compliment. I think to combat loneliness, try to work out how to get along better. I know how that sounds lol, but it should be possible to work it out with most people regardless of race, socioeconomic status, caste, etc, as long as they are Christian. I think that we just want to add our own egos to it which by the way we should be decreasing anyway to serve God.

[Lightning8]

Also when I say I agree or disagree, I am just talking about the points you were making, not the resources.

[IslaTheWitch]

oh shit... I was off a few days, and this?

what is attractive for a woman or a man comes from beginning of the humanity...

good looks didn't guarantee good prey or survival but a good working brain guaranteed it in many ways... also strong positive emotions guaranteed that a man would share his prey and defend his woman and offspring... so it's obvious that women who look for a relationship look for this kind of men... physical attraction is combined with mental attraction for women...

[_piotr]

@Lightning8
"claiming that you are a victim or being forced"
I rightfully claimed. You are forcing unmatching people to be in marriage they do not want to be by force. Rejection is beneficial for both people.

"But a man should be able to appreciate a caring wife if she is of relatively normal health, more than being alone"
1. No. Virginity and being single is better for some people. In fact virginity stands higher than marriage in biblical hierarchy.
2. No. Other factors are also important. Looks, intelligence, skills, culture, etc... Being caring wife is only fulfillment of basic requirement.

I disagre strongly with you. Having standards/requirements is not evil nor make you worship anything. You put people in great danger (that includes moral) by preaching what you say. I am strongly against it. You will be responsible for their failures. For mental problems, depression, divorces, and even suicides. You will ruin their life, happiness and probably salvation and endanger their potential children for no reason other then your contrived convictions.

Sorry, I already seen and heard/read similar radical/extremist religious view and know to what they might lead.
1. I know of a monk who preachess that you should have sex only two or three times in a lifetime with your wife to have children.
2. I know of congregation that teaches, that couple should have as many children as they can - 12, 16 or more. Otherwise they are sinners and do not believe God will provide for them.
3. I know of Jehova Witnesses that preach one should not transfer blood because it is evil and as result many people died that could be saved.
4. I read articles of greatly religious man that claimed going to swimming pools or beaches is a heavy sin equal to watching pornography and also all mixed dances (where men and women dance together), even classical, are satanic and detract from God.

[_piotr]

5. I know of orthodox Christians that crucified themselves with nails on Easter to honor Jesus. You can only imagined how that ended.
6. I read how a women never washed herself as she preached that washing body is a mockery of baptism. Clean soul for her was enough. That of course finished with illness. She cried when doctor ordered to bath her.
7. I know from my family an accident, where young boy after hearing a sermon, how carnality and sex are evil decided to cut of his penis.
8. I know of a priest who teaches in my country that wearing nail polish leads girls to hell. Using gel for heir is a sign, according to him, that satan has that person in his hands. Watching "star wars" is worshiping false God - Force and so on.
9. I know of a person on religious forum claiming families should donate all money they receive from their work, to charities and live in total poverty.
10. I had experience with a person with mentally illness claiming to have God himself ordered him to swore various things like not playing chess, not buing something for 3 years, etc..
11. I read on internet an article about, how modern architecture is offensive to God.
12. I read articles how democracy is of satanic origin and monarchy is the only system that reflect heavenly structure.
13. I read on a forum how deep kiss is sinful and is actually a rape of mouth performed with a tongue.
14. I read a theological article that stated that any foreplay before marital sex is a sin as it is mutual masturbation.
15. A monk on his site wrote an article, that after having children, it is good idea for husband and wife to make a promise to God that they will live without any sex to their death.

And many more...
Unfortunately I need to classify your conviction amon these "great" spiritual advices.

[Lightning8]

@_piotr Correction on an earlier comment I made, regarding 1st Corinthians 7 it's not that literally everyone should get married, but that if you are to be sexual, it must be with your own spouse. Sorry about that. A problem though is that people take this chapter to mean marriage is essentially about sex, attraction and avoiding sexual sin, therefore anyone married who cannot have it or who isn't lusted after by their spouse is in a terrible situation. This shouldn't be the takeaway from that. Nowhere does it say physical attraction is essential to marriage. Since we're talking about extremities, it's best to just control oneself and abstain from marriage entirely, which would in short order result in human extinction, something antinatalists would very much enjoy. Neither of us should have room to talk about extreme beliefs on that alone if we agree.

But if the foundation of a marriage is sex appeal, this explains why so many men leave their wives if the wife falls chronically ill. It's hard lesson to learn to love and commit to someone without needing physical attraction. Its easy to talk about in sickness and health until it's your situation and now you are faced with actually having to love someone IN THE PRESENT where one or both of you do not have attraction in that way. This is relatively common and devastates families. I know how it hurts the wife and children. Again if the foundation of the marriage was to fulfill the lusts of the heart, not to be stronger for God, this explains so many divorces.

[Lightning8]

@_piotr I have already said that "actual forced marriage" is a different case and I don't support that. In fact I support rejecting that. What I'm saying is that people should learn to love one another. Negotiate happiness and trust, which in turn can inspire love and attraction. I never said standards were bad, but rather that standards can be used better in lifting someone to them rather than like a specs checklist for a product. Look where society is now when using the latter strategy. It has downsides. Loneliness over time can be about as dangerous sexual frustration. But with a willing, caring spouse, you at least have someone to figure the latter problem out with.

If you can control yourself, control yourself. If you can't, understand that a marriage may not cure your lust even if you marry a supermodel. 1 Samuel 16, we should look at the heart. Marriage isn't about appearances but about being home. For many it's not about getting your rocks off but love and belonging. Especially in modern times, absence of the latter pushes one toward sexual immorality. If we're going to glorify the rejection of marriage for the gift of singleness, it's because we know that it's better to be above sexuality. But if you are not above sexuality, it's better to not need much and be adaptable than to need a laundry list of worldly desires for your spouse to meet. Marriage isn't gross just for missing what we consider physical attraction. Yes physical attraction is a part of God's design for marriage, but it isn't designed to be essential to marriage, nor is it meant to be the most beautiful part. To say a marriage is BAD without physical attraction is to say that His plan for marriage is bad without physical attraction. And it absolutely is not.

I think this was a good discussion to have. I appreciate you taking the time and having this discussion. If you have anything else to say, feel free. May you have joy

[_piotr]

@Lightning8 for me marriage without attraction physical/mental is awkward and has very little chance of succeeding from the very start. Man and woman cannot unite into one body, because there is no attraction. It is just mechanical or gross. This cause resentment and may lead to divorce/sexual immorality. It is better to abstain from marriage in such case because this is not ernest, nor it brings hapiness. Better to live alone and be happy. By "forced marriage" I understand your kind of marriage.

What is the point of forcing 1 a women who wants strong, dominating, physically working men with a 2 frail introvertic university professor? Or 3 artsy, delicate, intellectual loving women with 4 a unintelligent strongman?
Let them choose. They will pair up 1-4 and 2-3 and everybody will be happy with much greater chance. Do not force it. Your approach is a receipe for disaster.

What devastates marriage is that people do not realize that love is a state/choice, not an emotion.

In catholic marriage one cannot use contraception except natural methods in some situations. Creating children is its primary role. Oral sex is condemned by most priests (some allow it in foreplay only). Mutual masturbation is not allowed (some allow it in foreplay only or some allow it to help women to orgasm after man ejaculated). Any sex toys are not allowed. There are many more strict rules on marital sex/ejaculation (ejaculation should happen only in vagina, woman should have orgasm before man, etc...). All sexual sins are mortal sins.

[_piotr]

So if you think marriage allows much lust and "rock offs" and forgetting yourself in pleasure you are mistaken. Living with wife, laying in bed next to her is also a challenge for man that wants to be pure.

So do not worry. Even if I got a wife I won't be engulfed in sexual pleasure. Rather it might be even bigger challenge to stay without sin.

Frankly, I have enough of it. I would prefer sex to not exist. If I could have children without having sex/wife I would probably go with that.

[_piotr]

I already have almost 40 years. My biggest struggle with masturbation and sexuals thoughts is almost finished. I can live to the end of my days without wife and knowing sex. What is bad is that I will not have kids and be alone when my parents die. But prefer to be alone than marry someone I do not like and destroy my and their life. Sexuality is God's worst invention.

[_piotr]

"May you have joy"
This is ironic as Christianity is very sad religion where almost everything joyfully is evil, sin, worldly, worshipping something, lust, etc... it is very sad religion. All the time there is a probability of going to hell for eternity. I can tell you that I strongly believe it is better for people not to be born.

[_piotr]

I already went through heavy depression because of this stuff, problems. I went to psychiatrists, psychologists, priests, had suicidal thoughts, etc... you see to what it leads: now you even forbid me from selecting a wife companion that I would be happy with.
You like nice music - you are worshipping beauty.
You wish to look good - vanity.
Want to eat something tasty - lust.
Interested in book? - intellectual lust
I really have enough of it!!!

[_piotr]

Actually for people like you, even Jesus would be a sinner. I bet you would find for Him something to co condemn Him.

The Son of man came eating and drinking, and they say, Behold a man gluttonous, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners.

[_piotr]

Can Christian even have hobby? Or that also is selfish and sinfull.
Can you swim in the swimming pool?
And the best one is that after whole life you can still go to hell for like not going once to for a mass on Sunday. Our life is like a bingo game. Will you die unconfessed or not?

And you dare to say about joy?

[_piotr]

Even chess was considered sinful by Saint Peter Damiani.

[Lightning8]

@_piotr I'm sorry to hear these things, and I think I understand better where you're coming from. Salvation is between people and their Savior. You've done very well and all my point was is to just say that we don't have to be sad, marriage is beautiful in many different ways, especially when we aim high spiritually, and my passion is for people to learn to love. Not saying wanting attraction is wrong, bad intentioned or even sinful itself, but that there's a level of we can aim to where we need less and less to be willing to build with someone towards bliss, if that makes sense. And I have a passion that people do this. Because right now people aren't getting together much, and maybe it's a chicken v egg thing but it seems like the result has broadly been less spirituality and more sexual immorality, but now combined with a loneliness epidemic. Maybe it's a counterintuitive solution but to me it makes sense.

The love is a choice, not a feeling quote from what I remember is not quite trying to say that love is having the choicest thing or that it's a choice to pick the tastiest apple on the shelf or tree. It's just saying that when your spouse inevitably goes through an unlovable phase, you still choose to love them anyway. It is the choice to cause yourself to love the unlovable. You know they are well meaning and you choose to stay or love them when you could leave. Also I think logistics can be agreed on or not, but while lawyers might like to be with lawyers I understand that, I think people who come from different backgrounds getting together is beautiful too. My thing is making love into a think where we obtain an object more than sharing in the meaning and spiritual art of giving love.

[Lightning8]

@_piotr also none of this is advice, only an additional perspective

[_piotr]

@Lightning8 Thank you! You seem to be a person close to God. I am trying also but I am weak. I wasn't long in confession and need to rectify it... Please mention me in your prayer to Jesus. May He help me to better understand and fulfill his will.

[_piotr]

The truth is I used to believe in all extreame things I read on internet and worry about it. Like the traditional view on swimming pool and so on. I had enaugh of it and became depressed. It was hard for me to understand that most of this is nonsense. I was afraid, i was thinking that salvation may be impossible to attain, I left church for few years i considered becoming atheist, but I believed in Lord and loved Him too much for that. Finally, my parents, priest and psychiatrist, helped me to get out and slowly come back to Church without fear. But I shun extreams now and react nervously to new/unknown restrictions. Sorry for my reaction. I still need guidance from Lord. I do not want to offend him or make Him sad, but I also do not want to sink in all this strange, perhaps unneeded restrictions.

[_piotr]

I had a one girlfriend in my life, about 10 years ago. We had a lot of differences. We were together for 1,5 year. Something was off. She said she was not attracted physically to me. It was very hard and very sad for me. Ultimately our relationship ended to extreame differences of personalities.

Perhaps you will find this wrong, but I love easthetics and think God is source of all beauty. I am not talking only about physical beauty of a human but art, nature. I was always sensitive to it. I love classical painting, sculptures, classical music opera, historical clothes, furnitures, literature. I learn to play piano, tried to teach myself to paint, calligraphy. That is why perhaps you think i have weird approach to beauty, I admire it, appreciate it much, but I assure you I am not worshipping it or at least i hope so. To me Jesus is far more important than it.

[_piotr]

May God keep you in His care, friend!

[Lightning8]

@_piotr @_piotr thank you very much, and same to you. I'll pray for you and everyone I can. And yeah it's normal to desire beauty and fine things I tend to look at much of it though as extra abundance, not necessarily required things. I feel like I'm being countercultural in that way. But yeah I like fine things too, who wouldn't. They're made to be liked. So yeah I like music too and used to play guitar for fun.

I see, that must have hurt, and I imagine you don't want anyone to experience that kind of relationship breakdown. I just hope for people to learn to love at a deeper level to the point that less of the finer or choicest things in life are needed in order to give love. Not that nicer things are no longer naturally desirable or more palatable, but that people might choose love anyway because there's still deep goodness in it. Because requiring physical attractiveness over good will in order to love as far as I've seen seems to be part of what got society where it is. But again that's my thoughts. It can be a number of things. I just question that if people don't look deeper than physical attraction, are they missing something critically more important and worthwhile, especially since what is considered attractive changes a lot over time

Anyway, great discussion and I really enjoyed it!

[ohsheeT]

It depends on the moment that I'm going to do it

Because it would never be the same because I don't do the same things over and over

. And I know who I am and what I do and say and blah blah blah so I'm going to rate myself the same thing you rate yourself at because I think you would rate yourself high. And if you didn't you should

[Starrrboy]

I get called nothing but cute / handsome.. but if I'm rating myself I think I'm on the good side of average or slightly above average, so that's like 6.5 or a 7... I attract a lot of pretty girls and when you're used to them you just can't go down from there lol.. so, she has to be at least a 7 for me...

[AviatorTom]

I'm probably a 7, and I would date (and have dated) women who range from 4s to 8s.

[7Phoenix7]

Based on what? Looks? Personality? Emotional intelligence? The whole nine yards?

He always said I was a once in a lifetime experience. I don't know what rating that is but it's gotta be up there. Sad we had to separate.

I rate guys based on the whole nine yards... looks, intelligence, Emotional intelligence, sense of humor, etc...

[Vegasrunner]

@7Phoenix7 Women are only judged on their physical appearance.

[Skinhead-1979]

While I can certainly do with some improvements/ repairing... I am not unhappy about the way I look like. I don't think I am that special, I am just a regular guy, though I don't think I am unattractive.

Not to sound arrogant or full of myself: 8

I'd say that's what I am looking for a potential love interest too. Just an average girl, attractive/ girl who is satisfied about herself, so also an: 8

[Skinhead-1979]

Just an attractive/ PRETTY girl who is satisfied about herself*

[LifeHitMeandRan]

Physically I rate myself as a 6/10. I rate my character as an 8/10.

Physically, if she is around a 6-7/10 that's fine by me. For me to rate a female worse than a 6 means she is probably not taking care of herself. As for her character, I expect an 8/10.

[Drackusdredge]

I think I am a 7 and most people rate me close around there (6.5 & 7 most common ratings so far), and women should at least be a 6 from my view to date me.

[Damaged00]

Probably a 6. And I don't base who I date off of attractiveness, there are many factors I look for.

[ale2003]

@Damaged00 you are an 8 at least honey but okay…

[Damaged00]

I don't think I've ever actually been rated by someone, well not to my face at least. So thank you, that was very sweet. I've just seen so many beautiful women that I see myself as a bit above average compared to them.

[ale2003]

no problem, it felt wrong seeing you say you are six when you are obviously not. You are pretty and seem to be sexy. Don’t compare yourself with women on instagram please!

[Damaged00]

I really appreciate you saying all that. I was just trying to be subjective and realistic in the world we live in these days but you're right most of those women's pictures probably aren't 100% real and pointless to compare myself.

[ale2003]

im glad you appreciate it honey and that u realised the truth of social media. If you ever need to talk about something hit me up!

[bananathunder]

@Damaged00 Higher than a 6 just based off your one pic in my opinion

[Damaged00]

@bananathunder Thank you. I was honestly going off of what I assumed most men would think. Being real but I'm starting to think I might have been wrong.

[bananathunder]

welcome... one person's 6 can be another person's 9 ;)

[Damaged00]

@bananathunder that is a good way at looking at it 😊

[lightbulb27]

i figure a 7 and I'm ok with a 5-6 that's quality. I've gotten plenty of interest but I won't win a contest. but I'm a young 7:-)

I'm working on becoming an 8, but mother earth is trying to turn me into a 5.

[Ladsin2]

I figure I’m as attractive as the average man, and not quite as fat as the average American so 6. I’d date 4 and up. I have to be attracted to them at some level. Problem is only girls that like me are ~2.

[ale2003]

i think of myself as a 7. maybe it would be more if i didn’t lose all of weight leaving me with like 80 kilograms while being 190cm (6ft2 i think) so i kinda look skinny… but i don’t care… my partner should at least be a 6 i guess.

[NYCQuestions1976]

On a scale from 0 to 10, I'm a 69. I want to date a girl with an ass I can bounce a quarter off of and only get 15 cents back, 'cause she's a dime.

Okay I'll go stand in the corner now in shame and think about what I've done.

[_Senorita_]

It is not the outer beauty to be attracted but the inner side of a person... His/her character.. how he treats you.. how he understands you that is important!!

[Grond21]

Physically I think I'm a six, with the potential to be an eight if I worked out a lot. In my character I think I'm probably a seven.

[HighValue]

Physically I rate myself 8.5

To be with someone she needs to be a 5 or better in looks, but has to have an 8 or better for matching personality/morals/interests.

[Kaamraj]

On a looks scale I'd give myself 7/10 and including the total package of finances, stability, reputation, etc, it takes it upto 7.5. I'd be willing to date an avarage woman 7/10.

[PeachyPie93]

I'm a 4, I tend to like guys who are 7's or 8's lol

[marish01]

And guys especially hot men tend to like women higher than 6 too

[PeachyPie93]

Well I am capable of dating men I'm attracted to so really that is all that actually matters.

[marish01]

They are more attractive than you but prefer you over attractive women?

[PeachyPie93]

Yeah personality actually does a lot for people lol. Most guys just want a easy going life as they get older, in their 20's they love chasing the hottest but as time goes on guys just want to chill and have a good partner.

[marish01]

Lol but looks matter to you

[PeachyPie93]

Yeah since ugly guys are annoying and tend to be dicks. If I'm gonna have someone be a dick to me he best be at least nice to look at lol.

[marish01]

Ugly women are annoying too, especially when they are fat. They envy hot women.

[PeachyPie93]

Maybe if they don't have a personality. No need to envy hot women because looks always fade and the pretty girls seem to take it the hardest. If the ugly woman can still get guys they like there is nothing to envy.

[marish01]

"because looks always fade"
Lol
Says the girl who would only date hot men
"
If the ugly woman can still get guys they like there is nothing to envy."
Lol how can any woman envy ugly women.
Ugliness is a disaster

[PeachyPie93]

LOL you are the one trying to put people down.. so I have to assume you are not very good looking since you are acting pathetic, as usual and never post your real pictures :P
I never said woman would envy ugly woman, I said there is no need to envy pretty woman because more often than not they don't offer anything to be envious of. My life is perfectly fine, even without being a 10, I just got back from a resort in Turkey and have a nice tan. I will be going to the beach with my friends next week too, to enjoy more of my summer. Hopefully you can start having a good summer yourself because you seem to need it considering your attitude lol.

[marish01]

"you are acting pathetic, as usual and never post your real pictures"
Woman, that refers to you and you. Not me lol. You just dissed yourself. Are you even aware of your avi?
These are my real pictures by the way.

That tan travelling shit was pathetic and cringy.

"there is no need to envy pretty woman because more often than not they don't offer anything to be envious of"
They offer hot looks if not other good traits. Unlike you they can easily turn men on one they reveal their bodies.

You wouldn't date a man that looks lesser than 7 yet you said hot women's looks don't matter. Lol
Sure because you lack hotness.
You said
"If the ugly woman can still get guys they like there is nothing to envy."
You also said
"I never said woman would envy ugly woman"

[PeachyPie93]

Yeah but I don't go around trying to diss other woman for no reason like you, so I doubt it is you since you had the same pic for over a year. Plus the person in the picture isn't higher than a 6 so settle down with the attitude lol.

Was it cringy? I am just saying I have nothing to worry about rn since I can actually travel and do what I want. With how your attitude is I doubt you can since you are so hateful Ms. Dream.

LOL my body turns men on too or I wouldn't be able to get a boyfriend and I would still be a virgin..

Yeah because men's look matter more to me.. what do I care about women's looks, since I'm not trying to get with women? lol

That is my choice.. if I don't want to date ugly men I don't need to, what is it to you what I do?

[marish01]

Just because you've been fucked doesn't mean you are attractive. Men bang landwhales too.

I don't diss for no reason either. For example I diss hypocritical ugly women who think they deserve the top tier of men.

Most people don't change their avi. But I unlike them change it very often. So you are wrong again. I recently uploaded this new pic. You just let me know you've been following me for years.

Women's look matter to men too.
If you can date so called hot men do. I never said it's immoral. I only exposed your hypocrisy.
How is it your business if this pic of mine is new or not? Isn't it my choice how often I upload pics

What does travelling have to do with exposing bad attitudes and begaviors of people like you?

It is cringy that you bring up travelling as it is not a part of this topic lol

I knew you would say based the girl on my avi looks average just in case this is really me. I know how beings like act. You are so predictive.

[marish01]

If you claim you are 4 I am sure you are lower than that.

"what do I care about women's looks, since I'm not trying to get with women? lol"
As if you don't understand why you would care. It isnot about sexual orientation.
Straight ugly women can envy hot women.
It's true. This is not a myth. Don't pretend not to know it. It's not gonna hide your insecurities.

[PeachyPie93]

Hypocritical how? Did I ever say men can't date up? lol Where did I say I deserve the top tier men? I just can get the men I want. I honestly don't care what men do or if they don't want to date down, everyone has their own preferences to do as they please since there are billions of people in the world. You are trying to tell me I can't date up which is really pathetic on your part and shows your own hypocrisy and insecurities LOL

[Anonymous]

From the way people react to me, I am a 9. I have dated 5 to 10. My boyfriend is an 8, not that I'm better than him but for a guy he's an 8.

[paledreams]

I'm a 6 or I'm a 7 in looks - and I'd prefer to date a woman who's either slightly more attractive than me or a lot more ☺️ - yet some may say "attraction could mean many things, face, body,"

[Anonymous]

Probably a 5 or 6. I like how I look and I get positive attention from other people based on my looks. Ability to be an 8. My boyfriend is maybe an 8, at his peak he was a 10

[Apple1996]

Since I'm pregnant right now I'm a hard 10. Regularly maybe a 7. I'd date anyone from 1-10

[bananathunder]

haha pregnancy will do that to ya ;)

[DannyUk2017]

I'm a 4, and i would date a 1...🤷‍♂️, Why the Outer Beauty is More Important than the inner one? No wonder many are Single...🤦‍♂️

[NathanDavis]

I'm an 8... (or so they say)

and my range is wide open... all the way from a 6 and up to 14...

[art84]

Probably a 6 or 7 at the least. As for how attractive from 1-10 a girl has to be for me to be attractive to date them, maybe 8 or 9 though that would been if they are gorgeous and have the qualities I want in a women.

[Brady]

I let girls rate me. They can go to my profile, watch my video. They can like my answer if they think I'm attractive. They can dislike my answer if they don't.

I don't know what rating someone would b if I were 2 date them.

[TheLovelyIntrovert]

I'm a 6. But I really don't like to rate men because I don't base all attraction on looks. Who they are on the inside plays a big role in it.

[bananathunder]

I'd say higher than a 6 just based off your profile pic...

[dudegreat91]

I think of myself as 7-8. I get told by girls here I'm a 7 usually. In person I might be higher cause I'm 6'2 and have gotten a bit muscular lately. But also I don't have my younger boyish look anymore :D What do you think of me?

[dudegreat91]

For dating I seek really attractive women these days. If I'm getting serious and will see the same woman in the morning everyday then its better if she's really attractive. Have usually dated average or above average girls in past so now a model attractive girl would be nice

[Nikki1989]

I don't degrade myself or others by putting a rating on them.

[marish01]

Are all people equally attractive to you?

[Lightning8]

I think a lot of people sense that there is something a little off about rating people, like it's honest yes but not necessarily about something good perhaps? So it's not that they think everyone is the same, but that there may be further implications to reducing people to numbers in this way, at least for something as important to humanity as love. Depending on the degree to which someone depends on this way of thinking about human beings, it can defeat the purpose of love and even justify things that are completely against it. To give an example or two, it's far easier to lose points on a rating scale than to gain them, so what happens if a person loses 5 points through no malice on their own part? Is he/she just not lovable anymore by the same people who loved him/her at 5 or 7 points higher? And if so, how much was those people's love worth anyway if it's so limited or classist? Many people feel like love is cheapened by emphasizing or prioritizing the "customer satisfaction" thing, which seems to paradoxically make people less happy they are with one another, and less se ure/comfortable being around each other for various reasons, be it fear of judgment or simple undue dissatisfaction and envy. Also I think at least in religious communities, people know there are men/women who treat their (what the world would deem 1-2/10) spouses better than a lot of people would treat their (what the world would deem 8-10/10) spouses. It's more about the strength of the person to give love than to draw lust from others. Ultimately it could raise a red flag for many people that one who rates themselves and others is only willing to offer a less meaningful or even an objectifying kind of love to them.

[Lightning8]

*... paradoxically make people less happy with one another...*

*... less secure/comfortable...*

[Lightning8]

*... than [their ability] to draw lust from others.*

[SweetJoyGirl]

I am an 8.

There is more to a person than attraction for me.

[Iron_Man]

I’m a 10 the all American Swedish man. The girl can go as high as a seven to 10 for me

[Iron_Man]

I would say you’re very highly ranked especially for your age

[marish01]

Thanks.

[Iron_Man]

you’re very welcome

[Phoenix98]

I don’t know a 7?

As for other women well I just need to find them attractive.

[DrPepper12]

Bell curve says im a 5 so im worth at LEAST a 7 .

I never was good at maths!!

[RingOfFire]

The good news is that women seem to rate me higher than I rate myself.

And I have no objection to that. 🙂

[Tiktok_Broccoli_Girl]

Me is 10

I want 11 boy because gals date up on the hierarchy

Therefore I a femcel

[on_my_knees]

You're sure that not just the autism speaking?

[MikeyObrien]

I'm a 7. I'd be with someone between a 5-8 rating as long as she is fit, feminine, and friendly

[elaphe]

What is the rating based on? Just looks or personality? Integrity or intellectual pursuits? The job or education one has?

[dsrice071966]

I would probably rate myself a one, for me looks are not important it is the connection and personality that wins me over.

[Jerre]

I’m probably a 7, but if they saw me nude, they would probably give me a10+. I have dated girls as low as 5

[Juxtapose]

6, a. k. a respectably above average.

I can go as low as 5 generally.

[LiamJHayden]

I am average and as long as she is not morbidly obese I do not care about her looks.

[Anonymous]

Im 4 and want 7-9 I know its hypocrite but can't help it, love pretty women

[Enes38]

I can only give myself a 7.
If I were to date a girl and rate her, 7 would be enough.

[Guanfei]

I'm a 2, on good days.

And I couldn't date someone like me. A 5 would be the minimum.

[Yamaal]

I have a boyfriend and I think that's clear enough. 😅😅

[Adogdog]

I would say I'm a 7 and would date someone around the same.

[CubaPirate]

Considering my age around an eight but I'm already spoken for and she's a nine lol

[Anonymous]

-1 myself and I therefore don't even fathom bothering to date

[Anonymous]

to reproduce i would need a 10, for the rest not so important, probably min 5

[marish01]

Are you a 10?

[Opinion Owner]

no but why would I be downgrading?

[Opinion Owner]

then its better to have no kids at all which i dont need to have em anyway

[marish01]

Yes you shouldn't. What if the poor kids take after you.
Lol

[marish01]

Why would a hot man downgrade and hqve kids with you?
Look in the mirror and ask yourself if you were a 10/10 man would you bamg that creature in the mirror?

[marish01]

Bang*

[Opinion Owner]

i have no sex

[Mikpal12345]

8 attractive but not super fit. If I was toned a 10

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

She should be at least an 8.

[Bricealan]

From what I am told, a 7 or 8 ?

[DellBell]

I'm probably a 5 or 6 maybe less?

[jack1924]

Why you care so much about looks

[marish01]

Because I'm a visual person

[jack1924]

But, looks are not everything, sometimes we see people differently when we know them better and we like them.

[itsannalee]

7 🫢🫢🫢

[handsomelad70]

Eight to eight-and-one-half.

[loveslongnails]

I don't rate myself.

[loveslongnails]

I don't rate women either.

[Stef12]

That's impossible

[Amur8711]

7/10

7/10

[soe11]

10/10

[Dongie]

A 1
A 7.5