What do you do with a partner with no ambition?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of almost 7 years and I were talking about the Olympics and I asked by next Olympics what do you hope you’ll be doing. (We are both late 20s and will be in our 30s in 4 years time) and he couldn’t think of 1 thing!! Not a single goal for the next 4 years!! I can’t believe someone can be so directionless. I’m going to do another masters degree (next year, will be my 2nd masters degree) for a career change so I said hopefully graduated and settled in a new career and hopefully married (although not the end of the world if not). Tbh I just don’t understand how he can have no goals and ambitions. Not sure what to do I find it kind of worrying.

[Anonymous]

Well for starters you can consider that your line of thinking is NOT the only way to think. I would never discourage anyone from education. Because education will always be a good investment. But not all education is formal. Many of the women who would consider me undereducated are up to thier eyeballs in debt while I have a high 6 figure net worth.

Also I was flat broke at 26 years. old. I didn't know what I wanted to do either. But I knew I didn't want to be poor.

Are you sure he has no goals or ambitions? Or just that his might be outside of your box.

Life is a journey. I was sort of obsessed with making money till about 40. Not that i don't care about money anymore. But at some point when money stops being a problem for you you realize time is the much more scarce resource. You can always make more money but you cannot get more time.

I don't know how you date this guy for 7 years. And do not know his passions. I'm sure he has them. Or is he really just that hot looking that you do not care what else.😆

[patois]

He's probably hoping he can find a girlfriend soon that knows there is an Olympics every 2 years, but he didn't want to be mean to you.

[kylee2437]

Why do you feel that someone has to be as passionate about goals as you are? Just curious to understand the why here

[Asker]

I think it’s important to have goals in life even if they are small. Otherwise you are just living day to day with no real ambition and life is kind of dull.

[kylee2437]

But do you truly feel like he doesn’t have goals or does he just have a hard time expressing them?

[Asker]

Honestly I’m not sure. We have been together for a long time so I would hope he can share things with me. I’ve never shamed him for something he wanted to achieve. When we first got together I felt like I was the one trying to motivate him and I’m the reason we moved in together

[Malwi93]

yeah they dont have to and when there's a wide disconnect then you leave em

[kylee2437]

@Malwi93 yeah exactly this. Someone doesn’t need to be passionate about goals, but if they aren’t matching relationship goals, that’s a bigger problem. She’s talking about master degree goals and such, and honestly I think those are more so personal goals and he doesn’t need to feel the same way she does in regards to his own personal life. It’s not like this masters degree is benefitting their relationship directly itself

[Malwi93]

I am even dealing with this right now. I always smh at peoples preoccupation with looks when needs/wants disconnect is a far bigger problem in dating

[kylee2437]

@Malwi93 actually if I was in her shoes, I would be more concerned about the fact that it’s been 7 years and he hasn’t even thought about marrying her. I’m not quite sure why she put in parenthesis that , that part doesn’t matter when it’s a goal of her own that affects their relationship

[kylee2437]

That part matters**

[jahaims]

You are too disconnected

[Asker]

How do you mean?

[ImAlondra]

I don't think I can be with someone like that

[Enes38]

You will break up with her soon, I'm telling you

[Malwi93]

those kinda people annoy me

[Malwi93]

but thats 1 funny story

[Malwi93]

must be 1 interesting dude