My boyfriend says I am not his type, should I leave him?

[fairytale]

I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months. He's sweet, caring, and funny, but he often mentions that my looks aren't his type, even calling me "cute" seemingly out of pressure. He prefers fair-skinned, oriental women, which I'm not. This makes me feel sad and depressed, especially when he talks about his type right after sex. I don't want to change my appearance for him, nor do I want to be the girl he settles for. Am I being childish, or should I leave?

[Crimsyjo]

Did you make a decision? You say he's sweet and caring. So despite his words? Like everyone else I'm thinking dump him for what he says and how you feel. But context is everything. Is he maybe meaning it a different way to how it sounds? Like another 2 posters said... they are married long time to person "not their usual type" so maybe he means he is surprised you are not his usual but he fell for you anyways. I don't know cos like I said we only have your one side here so maybe he is a douchbag or maybe your sadness is reflecting in your post to sympathise with you. I'd say you need to have a serious sit down and ask him to clarify his meaning. And if you feel he is saying he is unsatisfied in some way then do NOT continue the relationship. Unless you happy with a friends with benefits arrangement. Maybe you should pull back anyways. If he chases you to get you back then he does desire you beyond just type. And if he doesn't put much effort in you will have a clearer answer.

[luvstoned4him]

"He often mentions that my looks aren't his type, even calling me "cute" seemingly out of pressure".

I'm sorry but for him to only call you "cute" out of "pressure"

You are not his type = He does not love you

so unless you like being available 24/7 to someone who doesn't see you as their first preference, I suggest you leave now and find someone who will love you wholly and truly.

There is a quote "Never make someone a priority when to them you are just an option" I think this applies here

[Anonymous]

Well let’s see here. On one hand you could stay,. But you’re not going to be happy knowing that you weren’t his first choice aesthetically speaking. Which could lead to him cheating should a girl he really likes comes around. Yes he might just be telling you you’re cute out of feeling pressured. Maybe you are cute, but not the cute that he’s looking for. On the other hand you could leave. But here’s something to think about. I don’t know if you really are “cute.” Meaning do you have a lot of men knocking at your door to be w you? Or was it a hard thing to just meet him? I ask because if you’re not that good looking in addition to your age it may be a little more challenging to meet someone. I’m not saying it’s impossible but a lot of men do favor younger, hotter women. It’s a lot to think about. This isn’t a personal attack on you, it’s just the reality of a lot of things, especially how men think. Stay, be miserable, live a lie or move on, try to find someone else.

[lightbulb27]

He needs to make a decision to love and appreciate yoi as you are and push him on that. After that he doesn't go there. Its a choice.


Being so young he maybe hasn't suffered enough with what he rhinks is his type and thus doesn't value you enough.


I dint rhink types change much and he may always draw to that but wuestion is if he refocuses his value on you and downplays the value of others. My wife wasn't my type but i learned to value her and when i see my ‘type’ i see their flaws, not the perfect bs.


If not, let him go.

[DishLady]

You're not his type but you've been together 7 months? Pfft.

Dump this bum.

[Finchie40]

Dump him , and don’t sleep with him anymore , he is a narcissistic piece of shit

[itsannalee]

Why he is still with you if you are not his type? If he can say that in front of u, imagine what he says in fron of hid friend about you!


You really need to talk about it with him, about what you feel and want. Or just leave him.


Be with someone who appreciates you, who appreciates your appearance, who will says that you are beautiful when u show him new outfit, someone who makes you feel secure.


But people know exactly what they are doing, people know if they hurt your, they just not care about it.


Love your self, don’t be with someone who makes u feel insecure.

[Lliam]

Wow. That's cold. What does he expect to accomplish by saying such a thing? It is deliberately hurtful and disrespectful. It's like he is trying to hurt your feelings and damage your self esteem. It's something a narcissist would do.

Stop giving him access to sex and tell him, "Go fuck someone who is your type because I'm done." Let him stick that in his pipe and smoke it.
Break off your relationship. Find a guy who adores you.

I had girlfriends who were my physical ideal. My wife isn't exactly, even though she is very attractive. But I would NEVER tell her anything like that. It would hurt her to the core. And it's my job to make her know that I adore her. She's my shining light.
We've been married for 28 years and I'm lucky to have her as my partner for life.

[Damaged00]

He doesn't seem sweet or caring. That's very disrespectful and degrading to talk about his type, that isn't you, after sex. You're pretty much just a placeholder until he finds his type. I would recommend leaving him. Find someone who will treat you better. Know your worth and don't settle for that.

[Little_Bumblebee]

The fact he talks about his type after sex with you like that is.. off the charts. Like wtf.

Don't settle to be with Someone who makes you feel like crap or less than.
Either he's super inconsiderate and/or dumb. OR he's doing it as a manipulative tactic.

Either way, don't settle like that.
Both partners deserve to be with someone who appreciates them for who they are.

[avery58]

You should leave, he sounds like a weirdo. Talking about his fetishes with you as if you were his locker room buddy is such a weird thing to do. Especially after just having sex, that'd be a huge turn off. Find someone who really likes you and deserves you.

[BadApple69]

We don’t always get the girl we want but the girl we need. I mean I’ve always wanted to be with Maggie Q or Lucy Liu but they just won’t return my phone calls. So I was going to say don’t worry about it but when you said he talks about these types of women right after sex that tells me that he doesn’t care about your feelings. That will only get worse not better. So with that said…. Dump him and save yourself a lot of pain in the future.

[MicahRaine]

If you've been together for 7 months and had sex together, and he still hasn't adjusted his type to what you are then that's his problem.

Normally I try to encourage couples to stay together and work through it but unless you can have a candid conversation about how to have mutual physical attraction (aside from sex), I'd recommend leaving him. For the sake of you both.

[cheapshotbob]

Yes you should. a guy who says that only wants in your pants and he's using the old reverse psychology routine making you think he's not interested in you so you will be more interested in him lol

it's all psychological and he's playing you. I would get out of that relationship before You do something with him that you will regret, and he gets a joke out of it for you falling for his routine

[oppai1]

I guess there can be such a thing as having a usual "type" and than deviating from that because you happen to find someone you vibe with who's different. However, going out of his way to tell you this doesn't seem very nice or needed. If I understand what you mean by "oriental," he might have an Asian girl fetish lol. So yeah might not be worth continuing.

[Aubrey97]

Have you explained to him how you feel about all this? Definitely tell him to stop talking about it right after sex. If you've already explained to him how it makes you feel, then yes. But if you haven't, that's the first step before ending it.

[DannyUk2017]

Get tf outta there... I mean he is just telling you to Actual "leave", specially being after "sex"... so he is a "tough cookie" after sex, but before that he's all sweets and kind... fuck that shit! Is not worth your time!

[Anonymous]

Things you should have done:

1) Not have sex with him.

2) Left already.

You are sleeping with someone who does not accept you. You are sharing the most intimate parts of your body and soul with a person that does not accept you. Time to wake up!

[ticktds]

Lmao
Well sounds like you're saying he's of the Asian persuasion, which is not a big deal, it's just one of those stupid things, and you're not the only girl in this situation, a situation I've heard of lead to marriage.
Tell him your feelings are hurt, but I wouldn't think he's being pushy about it.
I don't know the fine details so it still could be, but from what you've told me I don't see anything conclusive.

[KpopMusicFan]

Yes dump him. You deserve better and a guy who is really into you and your his type and what he is wants in a girlfriend.

[spartan55]

ANOTHER guy who doesn't seem to have a brain in his head. I can't imagine even thinking this, much less saying it.

[patrick994]

In my opinion you should leave, I understand that you don't attract him much, so he would go to another girl to whom he feels more attraction.

[Apple1996]

That's fucked you are better off just to leave him. Men with types are shallow anyways. It's best to avoid them

[katiesmuff]

Sure! That sounds like a wonderful future moving forward.

[EmmaMary]

None of this makes any sense at all... I suggest you seriously start considering your options very carefully... Good luck.

[Empery]

Sorry to hear that. Sounds like he has an Asian fetish. Looks like he got with you because of the sex and loneliness.

[StyngRay]

Leave him immediately. If you are in love then you can’t even think of another. He is a fool. Nothing big about oriental or skin tone or whatever else. He will get tired of that variant also.

[DrPepper12]

I got you on this I've been married 28 years to the woman who is not my type and I am not her type. 🤷‍♀️

[ProbablyClueless]

Clearly you are his type. Otherwise he wouldn't be having sex with you.

[Danny_dan92]

If you’re not his type then why did he make you his girlfriend?

[stratford]

That sounds like controlling behaviour. You should talk about it with him, or leave.

[Sambobelfast5163]

Definitely if your boyfriend says your not his type then you should leave him ASAP. He's just using you for sex or he's snooping for something else.

[onedarkcloud]

He gave you the invitation to do yourself a huge favor and leave only problems ahead if you stay

[torturedgirlypoet]

Just leave I know it’s hard but there’s a guy out there that will love everything about you

[Anonymous]

This guy said this to me and the next week he got beat up. Just leave him and hope for the worst!!!

[TheForeigner_]

Didn't he see it from the beginning while we were together? I think you should break up, not with someone who doesn't respect you.

[Anonymous]

And this is what creates women not wanting to be nurturing. Nothing comes of it.


Girl get out of there.

[jjj101010]

Have u asked why he is with you if you are not his type?

[Anonymous]

Yes. I wish you would. You don't deserve, a classy guy like him

[FreyaRed]

He asks for it

[NathanDavis]

leave him faster

[gangster123]

Definitely need to move on

[boggboss]

Why is he with u if he dont like how u look

[WhitneySnow]

You guys might be better off being friends

[Staximus]

Tell him to take a hike

[Starrrboy]

Leave obviously..

[OhLongJohnsoning]

if you're not his type, then why are you with him?

[moneymagnet24]

And yet fuckin your pussy? Lol.

[getpucksin]

Definitely leave him

[sawno]

Up to you

[Countrygirl777]

Yes leave him

[jahaims]

You are immature

[Anonymous]

Yes leave him

[shortster]

I think so.