For me I really value someone thats driven, I could never see myself being with a lazy man who wants to do nothing but sit on his ass and smoke weed all day. I like a man that has goals he wants to accomplish in life and has the drive to get them done, I find that extremely attractive !!
I also like a man that is consistent, I find it very unattractive when a man is the type that’s flakey and constantly makes promises he can’t keep.
I also value a man with emotional security since I just find it very unattractive when a man cannot express himself in a healthy way and just automatically blows up and calls you names if he’s in a bad mood.
What are qualities that you value and look for in a partner?
. Somebody who's beautiful within. He has to have a beautiful heart she has to be kind she has to be smart wise she has to be happy she has to be able to laugh at herself she has to be able to look at somebody in their eyes and speak to them without saying one word she has to be able to feel somebody's pain just by listening and looking and then help that person she has to be a great lover she has to have a beautiful touch
She has to have morals values and ethics
She has to be a little bit daredevilish she has to be able to get dirty and not b**** marker bite because she knows that there's a shower and like I said she has to be able to. Be one One with me . When making love and doing anything together even sitting 20 feet away apart from each other she must be able to feel that energy and know what that energy means
Respect honesty and loyalty, A girl that isn’t selfish that knows what it means to be in a relationship, she chooses me the same way I choose her , we make each other our top priority , and wear each others shoes when it comes to making decisions , if I find a girl like that? I will commit to her
Those are all valid and viable qualities. For myself... well... it depends. A partner could be a marriage partner, a domestic partner, a companionate partner, etc. The word partner is very broad in terms of its usage and could apply to many different scenarios. I cannot expect 1 man to fulfill all the roles of husband, domestic partner, and more, all the time and to my satisfaction. There are men out in this world that are great marriage partners and not so much domestic partners as much as there are men who make for great domestic partners but not so much marriage partners, so, for me it would have to depend on what functions I and the other person serves to each other.
There are men whom do not do well as either domestic partner nor husband, too. However, this does not mean this man cannot be a companionate partner. Such men might be unable to be happy in domestic life with children and or can't handle marital paperwork and other extended family obligations but they may work well for certain women who neither wish to be married nor living together with a partner.
Society tends to lump all the qualities of marriage partner, domestic partner, and companionate partner into 1 person. However, it doesn't always translate into instant success. Some marriage partners can't live together for whatever reason whilst other people much rather live alone. Living Apart Together arrangements have become common for marriage partners into old age, too. Cohabitation is more common now than marriages. It's relative.
One is much lucky if a partner is also a marriage and domestic partner, at least. And that is, for most, an ideal that might only be realized after much hashing out of paperwork and effort. A partner can look good on paper but if the proof isn't in the pudding, well, it can mean having to compromise many times over to make up for supposed short-comings or challenges.
Where companionate partners differ is that they are more like a close friend or brother in terms of interaction and it may or may not include sexual or intimate contact much like how it might be expected between a husband and wife. This does not mean a domestic partner can't be a companion, as well, nor does it mean that the domestic partner has to have any sexual or intimate contact with the other partner.
Also, typically, it's possible 1 woman to have 1 husband, at least 1 domestic partner, and at least 1 companionate partner or multiples of the same, dependant on the society. Polite society wants to simplify things for the sake of taxation, so, they strongly prefer people only partner up with 1 person, legally. It's generally frowned upon for a woman to have extramarital affairs and it's understandable why as legitimacy of offspring can emotionally hurt other partners. However, life is how one makes it and no 1 marriage is the same.
In laymen's terms, the marriage partner is more like the lover, domestic partner the homie, and the companionate partner the friend. Great if they're all wrapped into 1 person but life isn't that simple sometimes.
My ex hubby never did that till he wanted to end the marriage… this new side of him came out…
otherwise he has all that share value as me… same with my new hubby.
1. Kind hearted 2. Values education but not stuck to having perfect grades 3. Financial, medical similar 4. Values family. 5 ambitions 6 has reasonable goals. 7. Open minded with foods, travel. 8 have a good sense of humor.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
29 d
These are the qualities I value most in a woman who I would consider devoting my life to.
Smart, but not necessarily super educated. Education is great too, but not if it governs her priorities.
Has a good sense of humor / not easily offended
Kind hearted an unselfish
Values family above all else and loves children
Respects and appreciates men (hard to find these days)
Is more traditionally minded in terms of her priorities and worldview
Has healthy attitudes toward relationships and sex, but does not have a promiscuous past
I look for genuinely nice and cooperative as umbrella qualities. I wouldn't like girl who tries to pick a fight and trust me some do. I think nice and cooperative are opposed qualities to picking fights.
It is a bit easier to verify nice and cooperative early and bail if it turns out not to be. Or so my working theory says at this point.
A man with humor, intelligence, and a heart. An interesting person who I can talk with all day or all night and not get tired. Someone has had similar interests, beliefs, and a personality that pleases me. If he can make me laugh without meaning to, that’s always a plus.
Physical attraction and compatibility. For me compatibility is basically similarities in views, interests, sense of humor, way of thinking, where they want to end up in life, sexual compatibility, etc.
Is she a giver or a taker. Can she look at things other than her phone. Can she enjoy the quiet moments. Does she understand that silence isn't a void that needs chaos.
Most of them come with being a good Christian. I also like intelligence, creativity, and simply being fun to be around. (There’s also looks of course, but those aren’t as important. Mainly a pretty face and staying in decent shape.)
Every person should have a goal in life that he or she strives for. You cannot get what you want without effort or fatigue. In order to succeed, you must strive and work hard.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
23 d
I look for the same things. The problem is there are some women who expect a man to be all of that, but refuses to be that way herself.
I agree, honesty is a hard one to find and to maintain. It is difficult to look each other in the eyes sometimes and take responsibility for our actions or tell the one you love about something negative. But bottom line, honesty is all about trusting and being trustworthy. Without trust, there is nothing.
@farmboy13 Back when I was dating, that was definitely a problem. I think both men and women experience it and it is disappointing. It seems all you can do is keep trying and have faith a good one will come along. I got my good one 💝. Stay open to the possibilities... she's out there!
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